Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

BF has finished the job! He took an hour or so to move almost a hundred slabs 😯I hope he's not too tired to go to work later.... He did it at the hottest part of the day too 🙈 I fed him lunch and DD kept him hydrated. He doesn't want payment but I insisted. So he's going to go out with DD tomorrow when I go for my dress fitting (they're coming with us but will go do their own thing) and I'll pay for whatever they do ...this will probably work out more expensive than just paying 🤔 perhaps I'll withdraw some cash and say this is for you to have to spend....that seems more sensible 😆.

I've potted up four hanging baskets. I usually just buy them ready made every year but was trying to do the garden on a budget so have bought plugs rather than big plants and used my compost and old hanging baskets I found from last year (plastic ones which aren't my favourite but the birds seem to have ruined my nice ones). Once the flowers trail down they should be fine though. I had a few dizzy spells whilst doing the gardening and stopped for a rest in between. I went onto my NHS app and asked for their advice on my symptoms. It said to ring 999 after a lot of questions 🤨. I think not. I went back to the beginning and messaged the surgery, they sent me an appointment slot almost straight away...next week with a Dr I don't know, but perhaps that's better because 'Dr I'm not concerned about that' made me feel invalidated and like a hypochondriac that last time I went to see her. Anyway Dr appointment made, four hanging baskets done, and I'm done with energy for today. I've already cooked dinner (bulk lentil Bolognese) and lunch for all. Therapy later, I feel a little nervous.

Right off to see if I can finish another book, I'm over half way on it.

beanielou

The joy of youth.

KajiKita

Glad the slabs got moved! 😊👏 100% agree with giving them cash so there is a limit on how much they get to spend (plus DD is earning quite well atm).

The planting sounds lovely 💐
Well done for the bolognese and ringing the GP surgery. I’m really hoping you get a different response this time …. Ask about the tilting table test for POTS that Greenbee mentioned?

Hope the counselling goes well x

KK

beanielou

Hope your day goes well tomorrow.

skint_spice

Good luck with the shopping, I hope you find something that makes you feel great x

KajiKita

Good luck for Dress Day! 😊❤️🤩

May you find something that makes you sparkle from the inside out ✨

KK

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all 🌞

I didn't sleep well after my first counselling session (more in a bit) yesterday but I'm up, dressed and ready for the stylist to find me something wonderful (please and thank you universe if you can sort that that would be fabbytastic 😃😅). It's not until later on so we'll leave around lunchtime. It's a bit cooler here today so I've put my washing in the TD as it's positively cold and shady where my line sits 🤔 with rain due before lunch. Meh. I should have done it all yesterday! If it had been large items I'd have chanced it but it's all things like dishcloths and socks and small items which would take an age to get on and back off the line.

The hanging baskets I made up have perked up hugely with a bit of feed and a bigger pot to spread in and also pinching off all the flowers (which made me sad but I think it will help and I've made the mistake before of leaving all flowers on and the plants not really growing). Praying they grow and put on a show for the wedding party💍 💒 😃.

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My sister called me yesterday. Out of the blue. So I took the chance to ask her about the time she was ill and about her symptoms. My memory isn't great so I couldn't remember what they'd labelled her with. It was a similar story to me. First M.E, then fibromyalgia (I've had these two already diagnosed) and then EDS...I thought in the back of my mind it was POTS but she said it was EDS. Oddly that has popped up in the book I'm reading on POTS as well as M.E and fibro. Seems lots of people get mislabelled or diagnosed with several of these. I don't care too much for the label. I want to know what is wrong, software problems? Hardware gone wrong? How can I fix it ...that is the crux of it for me. I want to know what is wrong so I can do something. Sis said she gave up uni because the mind glitches / momentary loss of consciousness were too scary in the end....that's where I'm headed to now. (This has been particularly bad this week hence why I'm dragging DP along today - he'll work from a cafe when we're there). Sis said eds is genetically passed on so she thinks it could be that same as her. Her symptoms are very similar to be honest. She also has a tumour...benign which they felt was causing head pain and glitches. But surely that isn't in the genes so ...🤷🏻‍♀️ I think this is why she doesn't work....I really don't like going out to work but I think it does give me a distraction at the moment (albeit too much at the moment I need the correct balance?) ... She claims benefits for it. She's not worked in twenty years and honestly I don't want to be a hermit like her. She's not overly happy. But then, am I? 🤔 I wish I knew what the answer was.

Sorry to keep banging on about this. But I am quite worried about myself. And I feel I can gather my many thoughts here and have a bit of a moan without needing to moan to everyone in RL. Sort of a win win especially for those who just skim the moaning 😃😅.

Counselling yesterday was lots of first appointment stuff. Filling out forms finding where I needed help. I hope my case is not too complex, I felt she raised her eyebrows too many times as I listed abuse after abuse after trauma etc..it is a specific centre for trauma after all so I'm praying they'll help me sort through my mind. She also asked questions of where I felt on scales of 1-10. The stress one I found interesting. My stress levels are always at a 6-7. Especially at the moment. So she said when one little thing happens it pushes me to an 8+ immediately which seems like an overreaction to many people but they're not understanding that their level is perhaps a normal stress level on any given day of 2-3 maybe, so when something small happens to them they are pushed to perhaps a 5 which is still lower than where I began. I think this is why my colleague has upset me and stressed me so much. Same for DS2 and any other small things, and added to bad sleep patterns... The aim is to help get the baseline lower. And at the moment I think I'm stuck in fight/ flight which is adding to my exhaustion and post exercise fatigue because I'm already using all my energy on staying in hyper vigilant state all day. So that's the first one done anyway, I slept awfully as my brain went over everything we talked about and I had flashbacks...I have dialled down the emotions from these flashbacks when I've done healing before however it didn't stop them coming so although I wasn't emotionally reacting it was tiring going through it all again.

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Yesterday we managed to declutter some broken glass from the summer house into the recycling bins. We also got rid of lots of hose (sadly actually I wanted to use it but it had holes all over it. We think they might have used it as some sort of irrigation thing when the last people were here, some of the holes were gushing water though, so that's gone). The beds are all looking a bit fuller. I think I'll buy some woodchip and put It down on the beds to cover the gaps in places rather than buying tonnes of plants. That will cost a small fortune otherwise 🙈😅 and probably cost me my back for weeks.

So the hob got fixed easily 👏🏻 and now the DW doesn't work. It doesn't seem to be heating or cleaning properly.... 🤦🏻‍♀️ So we need to get onto 1kea to send someone out for that. So we're back to hand washing everything *boooooo* hopefully this will be a quick fix same as the hob.

Ooo I see some sun. I'm going outside to ground myself and get some fresh air. 🌞😊

debtfreewannabe321

Morning 🌞

Yesterday was exhausting so today I'm sat on the sofa and won't be doing too much. We arrived a little early for my stylist appointment yesterday, but went straight in as she was waiting for me. She already had lots of choices out so I got to trying them on. Quickly realised I am much bigger than I thought ☹️🙈. So we swapped the outfits out for sizes up to two times bigger than I'd told her I was. I still struggled with some of these ☹️… I'm trying to not go to a depressing place telling this story but honestly I felt really unhappy trying most of it on. One thing is dead set, I think I will pay my debts off and start a new pot for a breast reduction. I wasn't fitting into size 18/20s because of my boobs. 😭. Ok moan out of the way. We discarded the stuff I couldn't do up (did up around waist and hip just fine so there is an upside I suppose) and she went back out Searching for stretchier clothes and items that might fit and came back with a big selection. I tried on a few things I'd never have thought about trying which was nice. One I really liked, it was a jumpsuit that I'd never had tried on in a million years, but it fitted quite nicely and it was in my maybe pile right to the last cuts. I also had a gorgeous dress in there which sadly needed a lot of taking in (we had to go up three sizes from my normal size to fit around the top) as it was huge around my waist and hips. I discarded it last minute as I felt it would need too much work to make right. Such a shame was really pretty. But I am all about ease and honestly can't be bothered with finding someone to change it 🙈. So I was left with only two that fitted me and were my colours that I'd usually go for (quite bold colours in both of them but colours i would usually choose for myself). One dress was very frilly and I would never have tried it on if shopping for myself and I nearly dismissed it before even getting it on but yesterday I went in with an open mind and decided to try everything given to me 🙈😆 (I think I tried on well over 20 dresses and then the ones in the shortlisted pile got put on around 3-4 times more to decide). One dress was nice and boho kinda style, perfect for a garden party, but the colours (although they suit me) were very autumnal so I wasn't sure if right for a summery wedding. So we went and had a cup of tea and had a think about the two we'd whittled it down to. Then on the way back I went through the shop myself scanning items to see if she missed anything, there was one gorgeous sequinned dress that I picked up to try on to add to the two I already had put aside whilst deciding 😆. It did fit but something about it wasn't quite right on me... possibly the colour but none of us could put our finger on what. The other two were the main contenders still. Both super different to each other, one was very day time dress (lovely and silky though so looks dressy) and was a midi sort of length. And the other was more like a cruise type dress (unsure why that sort of comparison popped to mind I've never been on a cruise 😆). Anyway I was tired. Dizzy. Not feeling well by this point and I'd been trying on clothes for two hours straight almost and I'd been on my feet in one place most of the time so legs felt heavy and swollen, so we bought both. We can bring one back if we decide on one over the other at home... however both dresses combined came to way less than a wedding dress so I am tempted to keep both 🤭. And both fitted the criteria I was after, dresses I love enough to want to wear again I think one was Hobbs and the other maybe Phase 8? Can't quite remember but not usual places I shop. I didn't feel amazing in anything if I am being completely honest but I know this is because I am really struggling mentally with the fact my body has completely changed over the last few years. I feel I skipped looking like my mother and went straight into looking like my nan. I could actually see her staring back at me in the mirror 😐. DP was very complimentary to all things I tried on. But this was about how I felt. Which wasn't good. I also had huge regrets about cutting my hair so short and wondered if a hair piece to add to mine would help make me feel more like me (I've always had really long hair.)

Anyway, dress shop was done. DD was by that point having a meal with her BF so we had time to kill. I found a nice cardigan/ jacket short sleeves to go over the blue dress because that had sleeves that was very short- just a cheap one from new look. And then we wandered around a few other shops eventually DD finished and we could leave. I was absolutely done in when we got home and slept pretty well last night.

This morning I've another issue....so I wondered why we had only one solitary daffodil pop up this year. I was thinking to myself I had dozens last year 🤔. Anyway this morning, a squirrel 🐿️ jumps on to my raised beds. I'd planted a rancula in there. The squirrel starts digging 🤔 I'm thinking what is it doing? It's trying to dig my plant up!!! I scared it off. Then I have a search on the internet...they like the corms. 🤔 Ugh!! Then I see a thread of people moaning about squirrels eating their bulbs and corms and I'm thinking omg this is why lots of my plants didn't come back from last year!! So I need a solution now for it to leave my flowers alone 😒😩.

My new freezer is due today! Exciting! I will defrost the old one when I've got the new one set up and ready to go. And I'll try selling it. I might pop to the gym later to sit in the sauna...am feeling achy and could probably do with some warmth on me. I think I'll catch up on some diaries on here today too 😊.

skint_spice

I’m glad you have a couple of options now for the wedding, size varies between brands so don’t worry about it too much.

Try and rest up a little bit!

KajiKita

Chicken wire stuck in the ground with short stakes, that the bulbs can then grow through, is said to slow down squirrels.

KK