Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks @slm6002 I remembered the characters in the book and the vague storyline but not much else. I'm pretty sure there were no phones and tablets in the original book 🤣 so they've brought it into the modern age ...it was fun though and light-hearted and I enjoy a good kids movie when it's nostalgic for me xx

debtfreewannabe321

@KajiKita thank you, after not being at work more than a weekend and getting my body into its own rhythm of sleep I feel much better. I am better going to bed slightly later than when I was and getting up between 7-8 not 5-6 🫩 work is more stressful than I thought though, I already feel calmer just not being around my team.....I think countdown to when I will be leaving will be my main motivation next term to be honest..I do not see this as a long term thing. There are too many deadlines and considering I walked into the job half way through the timeline I don't really think it's fair to put all this on me.

debtfreewannabe321

@daisy_1571 I've already kept all the boxes from recent deliveries 🤣🤣🤣 They're going on the floor in my greenhouse lol 😆.

debtfreewannabe321

I forgot to share something DD said to me yesterday…it started with her being upset that her dad hadn't messaged in weeks and she had left it because she was always the one to instigate it. She said he'd lied about going away for only a day when DS2 was left on his own, she knew for a fact it was most of the week as ex's gf was posting daily on SM about what they were doing. And then she said how he was always letting her down, and she was scared of him after his reaction a few times and that ds1 hadn't spoken to him properly in over a year (so it really is just DS2 at this point to see through his father) and neither DS1 or DD wanted to tell me anything about what had happened two Christmas' ago because they were scared of my reaction to their dad (they'd be right there) but ex got spectacularly drunk and went to physically abuse DD and his step daughter (her mum had just passed away too). I'm fuming now just thinking about it. I'd already heard some similar stories...I feel ashamed for letting them go to him so often. I knew what he was but I felt he'd only done that to me and wouldn't ever do this to our kids. Anyway I'm digressing from the point I wanted to make which was very sweet...DD said she was in the car with her BF (he's lasted more than a month and I now know why DD has been too scared to have one) and as he was reversing out of our drive she said he could go three times and he was like, no I'm waiting for a bigger space because I've got precious cargo in with me....this is what DP says of me and DD all the time in the car 🤣 and she said, I realised then that I liked DP better than my dad and I think of DP as my dad over dad..... 😳 She also said, my bf is like DP and I never wanted a bf in case he was like dad.... Aw poor thing I didn't realise all that had gone on at her dad's house but I am, needless to say, absolutely livid at ex. And even more worried for DS2 now.

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Ok I abandoned that message as dp came in and said he'd managed to get the divorce papers sent over by email after begging them to expedite it for his appointment this morning, so can I drive him to town. So I did. We were two minutes late because of traffic (TBF we left the house six minutes before the bleeding appointment) he had tried to cancel the appointment because of lack of paperwork but because of the bank hols they didn't get the message. So anyway he's in there now. My twitch is back in my eye 🙈 and then DD calls me to tell me Sainsbury's delivery won't hand over to her because of the law that says she must be 18 to receive some fruit and veg 😭😭😭 They're early!!! I'm not too happy about this. So anyway she said that he would come back so I have around 20 mins to get back home (hurry DP) and get in the house before they turn up. Just as I think stars align something is sent to test me. At this rate I will have to abandon DP here and go and receive delivery and then come back for him 😣 nothing could be easy could it. And worse still there was parking so DP could have brought himself - he was worried there would be none so I was going to drop him and find somewhere to park whilst he was in there.

Roll on this afternoon when stress will be done 🤣😭.

skint_spice

I hope the rest of your day goes smoothly!

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks @skint_spice it's going better already *phew*. I got home minutes before the delivery arrived and DD bf was also arriving to help us out which I felt a bit bad about because I made it back in time. I've emptied the fridge of all old food and fed me, DP DD and her boyfriend. Had to say thanks and sorry about dragging you out to DD bf 🤣😭. Then I had a bit of a brainwave... DP is really struggling with his back lately doing DIY (suppose we're all getting older) and I said to bf fancy earning some money? So we're going to pay him to move the two pallets of slabs to the back garden for us as that will be a massive help. He looks like he's got much bigger muscles than us and seemed up for the job. 😁 This could mean we get a patio sooner rather than later which is very exciting. We currently have a half grass, half hardcored area waiting to be finished.

Engineer is here for the cooker 👏🏻 he's fixing it without needing to order things that take weeks- yay.

I'm going to pop to Mr L soon for coffee and some other bits not on the shop this morning and then I will look at BandM see if they have any bedding plants as I'd like to get the garden done by end of April so some plants are growing nicely by May. I've not made it to the gym yet, but I have my gym clothes on...the thought was there 😅.

daisy_1571

Thats such a good idea - yiu get the benefit of young muscles, he gets some extra money

Dxx

Humdinger1

I just wanted to say @debtfreewannabe321 that abuse doesn't define anyone. You are so much better than this. It might not be obvious to you sometimes but you are managing this wonderfully. At least you know the situation now with ex and the children and can help build their resilience. Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx

debtfreewannabe321

@daisy_1571 he's just turned up to help us! Quite excited we might get a patio sometime soon.

@Humdinger1 thank you 🙏🏻 I just wish DS2 would see sense and come home. I certainly don't spend all my time thinking about my ex but I do think about my DS2 a lot. And it always, invariably goes to the thinking of, what on earth is ex doing to him when I hear of DS not being happy/ being left alone.... 😐.

I have counselling today. Perhaps DS is a good place to start...or perhaps the one who put the final nail in at work...

So yesterday afternoon was glorious weather, just right temperature wise for me, and not too sunny that I was blinded. So I went out and bought some plants. I picked up enough to do just a bit of planting and not too much. I was mindfully shopping 😉 get me...

Came home and put the plants in their places ready to dig and remembered I'd forgotten compost 😒. I went over to the compost I started around summer '24 and it looked ever so dry and twiggy. I'd managed to get some out that was decent quality the other week so I got a shovel and turned it over and 🤩 there is was! I've actually taken a picture to share cos I'm that sad...also there were literally hundreds of worms in it!!

So, I had compost! Woop.

Got to planting everything up and stopped before I did the hanging baskets because - my back gave way, heart palpitations started up like an anxiety attack and I became super dizzy. All within the space of a minute 😭. I could have cried. I feel, today, like I've gone back to square one with my energy. So, I'll use today as a rest day. My mind and my spirit are willing, my body, 😭 is not. I'm finding it so frustrating and upsetting.

Anyways, back to the pretty plants, I now have a lovely white clematis I bought two of, growing up either side of my arch. I have some beautiful red ranculas. One potted and one in a bed with some baby lavender to complete my herb garden 🪻... I now have sage, thyme, rosemary, lavender all in those beds. The only ones not established are the lavender. I've also got strawberry in one bed and in half of another 😊. I bought a shrub of some kind with pretty yellowy green leaves for a bit of a splash of different green to what's already in a large bed. And I bought some trailing plants for my baskets- name evades me. Those are what need doing still.

I replanted a holly tree someone gifted me in a beautiful terracotta pot as it looked a bit stifled. As I pulled it out, it became apparent it looked this way because red ants had invaded. Quick Google and I put in water and took as much soil off as I could and repotted in a deeper pot so it could hopefully grow a bit more (if it recovers). The terracotta pot I used for one of the ranculas. It's looking pretty out in the garden and lots of foxglove and lupins are popping up. I don't think the foxglove will flower this year sadly but hopefully next year. I spread them end of last season. I've decided to go with the wild look. And I have officially given up on weeding. It hurts my back and, well, life it too short. I will continue to pull the bind weed and continue to take up things where I don't want them, but this year I've an abundance of dandelions (I never actually see these as weeds anyway, they're pretty 😍 so they've always stayed), a patch of nettles (great tea) some sticky willy (same again tea) and I've left the grass growing between the side patio and back patio. It looks nice and rustic 😉. The front patio near the house I'll keep clean but I've decided to leave the rest. I've no energy for it to be perfect (like one of our neighbours).

I cooked dinner yesterday whilst in pain and then collapsed on the sofa with painkillers. I would like to find the hanging baskets today and fill them but I'll see how I go. Ooo petunias - night sky- that's what they're called. 😍

Ok best go see if bf wants to start work yet, he arrived and then disappeared to DD room!

daisy_1571

Ok best go see if bf wants to start work yet, he arrived and then disappeared to DD room

Lol I was going to suggest clearly explaining what you expect ie tasks, how to do it so you don't get broken slabs dumped anywhere and what hours he is 'on the clock' so dd doesn't come distracting him 😆 😂 🤣 otherwise you'll both end up feeling taken advantage of