Debts and DV

itsthelittlethings

Thinking of you. Christmas can be a tough time of year for all sorts of reasons and there’s no right way to do it.

sourcrates

RhiBi said:

Thank you for asking after me @Highlanddream I’m plodding along, the time of year isn’t helping my mental state.

i don’t need judgement on this, I already know!  Normally I would spend about £500 on each of my children for Christmas, yes I know it’s ridiculous.  Obviously not having access to credit, which is a good thing, I’ve had to cut right back, which they understand.  I’ve spent about £150 on each daughter, again no judgement please.  I’ve been able to fund this due to stopping paying all non priority debt.  It does mean that I’ve not started my emergency fund, but that will start in earnest in January.

its been difficult as I’m trying to navigate my emotions and thoughts, Christmas, finances, all whilst dealing with family, some of whom are pushing me to do things I’m not ready to do.  They mean well, but at this moment in time, people telling me what I should or shouldn’t be doing isn’t helping.  Right now I feel like handing over the presents then locking my front door until it’s all over.

My thoughts on Christmas precisely reflect yours lol, the whole thing means very little to me in general, yet for many people it can be the cause of all their debt worries.

We are pre-programmed by advertising to spend/spend/spend, banks entice us with credit cards and loans, shops offer "0% finance" buy a new kitchen, you`ll need a new suite for Christmas, how about the latest iPhone, or PlayStation package, the constant pressure to buy on credit, making it appear to be the norm, but it isn`t, we are slaves to the banks trying to service all the debt we each hold, and the higher our incomes, the more debt we tend to carry, its insane when you really think about it.

We see an influx of new posters in January, every year is the same, the credit card bills hit the doormat with all the Christmas spending, and in a lot of cases its enough to send people over the edge, and they then come here looking for advice on how to break the chains.

In the end, most people figure out for themselves where they are going wrong, and then put plans in place to change things, we refer to this realisation as your "lightbulb moment" a term you may already be familiar with, but is quite apt in this situation, its basically the point in time you finally realise you cannot go on borrowing the banks money to fund your lifestyle, and that your income should be funding that bill, not your bank.

You will likely find your family members are in the same boat you are, funding Christmas on a credit card, the only difference is they are still using theirs, and you aren't.

Highlanddream

RhiBi said:

Thank you for asking after me @Highlanddream I’m plodding along, the time of year isn’t helping my mental state.

i don’t need judgement on this, I already know!  Normally I would spend about £500 on each of my children for Christmas, yes I know it’s ridiculous.  Obviously not having access to credit, which is a good thing, I’ve had to cut right back, which they understand.  I’ve spent about £150 on each daughter, again no judgement please.  I’ve been able to fund this due to stopping paying all non priority debt.  It does mean that I’ve not started my emergency fund, but that will start in earnest in January.

its been difficult as I’m trying to navigate my emotions and thoughts, Christmas, finances, all whilst dealing with family, some of whom are pushing me to do things I’m not ready to do.  They mean well, but at this moment in time, people telling me what I should or shouldn’t be doing isn’t helping.  Right now I feel like handing over the presents then locking my front door until it’s all over.

Although it may feel like you are not doing very well, from the outside it looks like you are doing fantastically compared with previous years. No, spending money on loved ones is not ridiculous its perfectly understandable. Things will take time to sort out, but as long as you can hold it together and come through to start next year in earnest then that is a blooming result! I hope you can find some time just to spend on you, simple things and all that, small pleasures build up, I promise. x

Brie

i don’t need judgement on this, I already know!  Normally I would spend about £500 on each of my children for Christmas, yes I know it’s ridiculous.  Obviously not having access to credit, which is a good thing, I’ve had to cut right back, which they understand.  I’ve spent about £150 on each daughter, again no judgement please.  

Well I'm going to judge.   And I say well done for cutting back so well.

RhiBi

Thank you all for your kind words.

2026 will be a new start which includes getting myself in a better position, mentally and financially.

RAS

Have you spoken to Woman's Aid?

They may be able to sign post you to people who specialise in debt in financial abuse situations.

It's acknowledged as a difficult area, often beyond CAB workers.

RhiBi

I haven’t been in contact with Women’s Aid, but I have been allocated an IDVA, which is a dv advisor, they’ve given a report to CAB which has been sent to all creditors.  They’re not hopeful of success though, but we’ll see.

RAS

Wishing you more than you expect.

RhiBi

I’ve received this email from Novuna, which I think means I’m going to get an AP marker , which I don’t want.  I went to CAB because my head was all over the place and they took over for me, which I needed at the time.  However now, with the support on here I feel able to self manage a DMP.  What I am wondering is if this will now not be defaulted.  Also, is the same going to be done for my other debts too?

We have been contacted by Citizens Advice ********** who have let us know that they're acting on your behalf. We have added their written authority to your agreement and placed your payments on hold to allow them time to send us your income and expenditure details. 

We would like to make you aware of a few details with regards to your agreement whilst Citizens Advice ********* acts on your behalf. 

- We will not charge you any additional interest
- We will not add any additional charges or fees
- When a reduced payment arrangement is in place, the difference between your reduced payment and your normal monthly repayment will show as arrears
- The payment arrangement and arrears will be reflected on your credit file
- You will receive a letter every 6 months; this is to keep you updated on the arrears balance on your agreement

If you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact Citizens Advice ********* or you can speak to our Specialist Support Team on 0344 351 9066.

Kind regards, 

Novuna Personal Finance

Brie

As I understand it if you don't make any payments they do have to default.  I assume that CAB hasn't said you are willing to pay X so it's a case of waiting it out until they do default.  Be brave!