Moving on up! 🏡

daisy_1571

I sensed that in your post, its a tricky thing,oh id love that but don't deserve it.

At the end of the day it's just a house.  The council house did what it was needed - house a family at a difficult time of your mums life.  The small subsequent houses have possibly been all you could afford at the time but again did exactly what you needed at the time.  You took mortgages and have tried to be sensible with your money, saving, overpaying, latterly you saw a possible problem at work and took steps to mitigate any problems by starting your business alongside working, your partner does his coaching/teaching alongside working.

Do you think David Beckham sits up at night thinking he doesn't deserve all his money from kicking a football about a field, or tom cruise knowing he gets to play about doing things he enjoys like jumping out planes etc but he gets paid handsomely.  They played to their talents and are getting on with their 'best life' in their big houses enjoying what their hard work has earned them.

For what it's worth,  I'd say you should be enjoying the results of your hard work, keeping going at a job that has been quite stressful at times, taking on extra work, saving the money not spending it on £1000 handbags 😀.  But if that's what you did want to spend it on and live in a small studio flat with a second house to store your beautiful bags then that would be fine too!! 😆 

I did wonder when I got my dream house, a 2 bedroom bungalow with garage and garden, 'wow, I'm here, what do I spend hours wishing for now?'  But the weird feeling of 'if someone met me now this is all they'd see, they wouldn't see the struggle,  the "real" me', it does pass, as I settled into living there that feeling diminished.  Now I'm in a stupidly big house for just me, him and the cat.  I secretly glory in the fact theres 18 places in this house that I can technically be in a room behind a closed door (some are a stretch, like the big cupboard 😆 🤣), more if I crawl in under the stairs 😆  Yes it takes more cleaning, like bargain hunter says, it takes more money generally, we simply can't afford to re carpet the bedroom as its huge therefore the cost is bigger, same with a couple of other areas.  It costs more to heat (and is often still cold due to double height area), it has a higher council tax than smaller houses.  If you don't have a plan for what you are using the space for it can be wasteful.   We use every single inch of our house for different purposes.  Mr daisy grew up sharing a bedroom with his 5 years younger brother.  They had a dining room which was genuinely used one day a year but it must have been important to his dad to have a dining room as he refused every request from the boys to use that as a bedroom, endless years of refereeing fights rather than give them each their own room.  Madness but, as I say, it must have been important to him.  I'd rather use the room the all 365 days of the year, its not good for rooms to sit stale and unused.

We won't be in our house in our old age thats for sure but for this period of our lives its fabulous to live here.

Sorry for long post, I love talking about houses  ☺ 

South_coast

I hear where you're coming from on the imposter syndrome, it's something I have struggled with over the years (and still do at times. Exhibit A: My Mum did a lucky dip at a fête last year and won a bottle of unbranded perfume, which she promptly gave to me, as she doesn't wear scent. Despite the fact that I have multiple other perfumes which smell a lot nicer, I am still battling my way through this one over a year on, from some perverse desire to finish it - not long to go now 😅🤦‍♀️). Whatever I might say to myself out loud, somewhere buried deep inside is this feeling that "I don't deserve nice things"/"I have to get my money's worth"/"I've made a decision, I have to see it through" etc, etc. 

But, you have so earned this! You have worked your socks off and grinned and beared your way through all sorts to get where you are. And always with a smile on your face. So take it from someone that still sometimes can't quite believe how much they have spent on a car and home improvements, that sometimes having something really nice that you've worked really hard for feels great 🩷🩷🩷

alipops1986

Hi Jessy, 

I'm usually a quiet follower of yours, I have enjoyed your journey so far, and am excited for your new chapter! 

In terms of the new house, if you can stretch to your dream house then I'd suggest that. Moving house is expensive, you don't want to be doing it too many times if it can be helped. 

My first house was a 1.5 bedroom ickle end terrace, then when I met my now husband I sold up and we moved to our new home together - 4 bed, x1 ensuite, x1 bathroom, kitchen & dining room, utility room and downstairs loo. Double garage. We lived there for almost 9 years, it was in absolutely fine condition when we moved in but as we had the budget, we did a new kitchen and extension, both bathrooms and downstairs loo over the 9 years. That was at a time when it was quite affordable to do that, now I dread to think of the cost. 

After almost 9 years, we felt we needed more space as we'd got x2 children by then. We also wanted a village with more amenities. I fell in love with a 5 bedroom very spacious new build in a nearby village. We viewed it, and decided to part-exchange our then x4 bed house. We got exactly what we wanted for it price wise and moved in 6 weeks - only really possible because in 2021 there was no stamp duty thankfully so that saved us well over £15k. 

This is it now. We have no plans to move again, until we need to downsize - but the children are only 8 and 11 so plenty of time yet! As this is a new build, we've done very little that's cost money which was the idea really especially now the cost everything has risen. 

Cheery_Daff

Jessy, I hear you on the house imposter syndrome! I too grew up in a council house, lived mostly in shared houses til I met Mr Cheery, moved into his end terrace that he'd lived in for decades - and then we moved to a ridiculous detached farmhouse with several acres of land 🙈 My first thought on visiting here was 'nobody will let people like us live in a house like this!' But we could afford it (just) and nobody stopped us 😂

Took me a LONG time to get around to the idea of 'owning' land (I'm still not entirely comfortable with the idea) and I still often feel the need to explain that we could only afford it because it's so far away from everything and needs so much doing to it. 

But we love it, and really nobody cares. The only people who have very occasionally made 'oh you live in a country mansion now' comments are people we know who come from a lot more of a well off background than either of us, and who will very likely inherit a large house themselves (which neither of us will do - Mr C's dad owns his house but it's tiny and in a dreadful state, and both my parents are in rented council flats). 

See, there I go explaining myself again! You can spend your hard earned (or even not hard earned!) cash on whatever you like 😊 

(I would echo the 'more house equals more cleaning' sentiment though, and add that more house and outbuildings also leads to wild accumulation of far more stuff 😬)

Go for it i say! Or at least get yours valued and have a look round!

debtfreewannabe321

If you're paying for it out your own hard earned cash then you're no imposter. Besides I'm sure you can decorate rooms for dogs, therefore it will all be used and you'll need a bigger house 😉. Seriously though, moving is expensive. It cost me nearly £10k last year. So add that into the costs plus the money for doing up some of the smaller places you're looking at and you may as well do the stretch at the beginning rather than possibly want to upsize again. 
I think you should get some valuations in and see just how feasible it is 😁.

South_coast

Following on from my comments yesterday, I wanted to update that I have officially given up on the perfume!!! Am super excited about smelling yummy tomorrow 😀

debtfreewannabe321

South_coast said:

Following on from my comments yesterday, I wanted to update that I have officially given up on the perfume!!! Am super excited about smelling yummy tomorrow 😀

Well done 🤣👏🏻👏🏻

beanielou

South_coast said:

Following on from my comments yesterday, I wanted to update that I have officially given up on the perfume!!! Am super excited about smelling yummy tomorrow 😀

Go you. Life is too short.

Jessy103

Thank you all so much. It means a lot that you've taken the time to comment and be so supportive x 

I know you are all right, we work hard for our money and we should spend it on what we want and if we want a big house that has a room for the dogs, a library for me and a computer/guitar room for DH, then we will blooming well get it! 🤣  We will of course be sensible and factor in the more expensive Council tax, maintenance and extra cleaning time, before making a decision.
We will also look at the cost of doing up a property. We are quite lucky in that my brother is a joiner/window & door fitter, who is self employed, so I can hire him to help. Work bestie's son is a plumber and fitted the boiler in our current house and comes to service it every year, so I would have someone I can trust to do a new boiler and bathroom if needed. I know half of the battle with these things is finding, good, reliable tradesmen. 

At the end of the day we have options and I think that is very important. I also think that when we go around and start actually viewing places it will help a lot to narrow down what we want.

I have taken a storage box full of bits I want to keep, but don't need here at the moment to my parents to pop in the loft until we move. I'm trying to declutter and stash some stuff at my parents house, so the photos will look more roomy when we put it on the market, that and people round here are super nosy 🤣  I will look at getting some estate agents out to value it in the next few weeks 🙂

Jessy103

South_coast said:

Following on from my comments yesterday, I wanted to update that I have officially given up on the perfume!!! Am super excited about smelling yummy tomorrow 😀

Woohoo! Here's to smelling yummy! 🥂