How do you "let go" of your working life?

FIREDreamer

I hated my job so letting go was really easy.

Obviously if you don’t hate your job, the decision isn’t so easy.

mebu60

born_again said:

Kismet_Hardy said:

Marcon said:

Read your own post. Sometime typing out the question accidentally provides the answer! A lot of your concern seems to be focused on money worries and whether or not you actually have any. Maybe getting that straight in your own mind is your first step to freedom?

Ouch! Yes, you are spot on.

Both my husband and I, both before we met and when together, have experienced hard times. I was briefly homeless and dependant on the help of others twice in my 20s. We have a financial adviser who has been through the figures on numerous occasions to show that we are fine - more than fine. And yet, I am still afraid. 

I need to deal with that fear, don't I?   

Retire & enjoy life to the full while you are fit a healthy.

You will find your day is full & wonder how you found time to work.

This.

I earnt well working long hours and had no particular hobbies and was told I would soon be bored. Thirteen years later I am still waiting for the boredom to kick in.

Be sure to downsize while you are physically able. 

GunJack

Kismet_Hardy said: 

Gosh, I'm being more open and honest here than I had intended to be, but it is helping. Thank you.      

...and that's half the battle. Now you've had some practice on here, you need to have an even more honest conversation with both yourself and your husband as it's you two that are the important ones here, you're the married couple who need to decide how to play life together.

I know that having adult kids at home can feel like a big factor, but you & hubby aren't always going to be there for them forever...you're still giving them a roof over their head and that's ok, but sooner or later they need to get out and be independent (we know, we've got one who left 6 years ago but t'other one still lives at home, as long as our plans involve a bedroom for him that's ok)... 

MallyGirl

FIREDreamer said:

I hated my job so letting go was really easy.

Obviously if you don’t hate your job, the decision isn’t so easy.

Same here - getting VR was the icing on the cake as it allowed me to go a year earlier than I had agreed with OH but I was already counting down the days

DRS1

I have always thought that a gentle glide into retirement (dropping the odd day a week here and there) was a good thing; much better than coming to a sudden halt.  It never occurred to me that you could find yourself stuck on the glide path unable to land.

I suspect the OP will need to find something she wants to do more than work.  That way you are moving towards something not away from it.

Another possibility is that your skill set may mean you could do other things which don't require the continuing education or being up on the latest gismo.  Perhaps being a school governor, a charity trustee or non executive director?

barnstar2077

From reading your responses, I would say that the only real sticking point is concern for your children's financial future.

The answer in my eyes would be to keep working for now, but live only on your pensions, putting everything you earn from now on into an account for the kids (controlled by you.)  This money will then be gifted to each child as they approach being able to buy a home (or some other predetermined condition.)

The important thing is to determine ahead of time what the amount per child will be, or how long you are willing to do it for.  So, you could try to give each child £50k (I'm plucking a number out of thin air here as I do not know your salary or how much houses cost in your area), or maybe do two more years etc, whichever you are happiest with.

Deciding now, and possibly sharing it with the family, will allow you to walk away guilt free once those goals have been met.

I'm not suggesting you work another five years if that is how long it would take for you save a deposit for each child, but I think having a realistic predetermined goal in mind will make it a lot easier to quit (having checked all of the boxes, hobbies, kids okay etc.)  Plus having lived on just your pensions for a while you will have no anxiety about that either.

When setting your goals, give some thought as to how you would feel if your own parents had burnt themselves out trying to set you up for life, and how that would make you feel now looking back?  You wouldn't want them to have fallen on their swords and not have enjoyed their last years in life because of you, so make sure you keep a balanced approach when making plans for your own future.  After all, the earlier you retire the more memories you can make with your family while the kids are still at home and you and your husband still have your health.

SuffolkWanderer

Just to add that reading this thread has struck a real chord with me.  My wife & I could right now be happily retired in our 50s, but what’s stopping me giving up work is knowing that I’m now in a position to put extra aside to make a difference to my kids lives.  I don’t know when I will no longer feel this way.  As Walter White said, “a man provides” …

GMeeg

My husband and I retired early 5 years ago. I have found it useful that on retirement we created some priorities such as keeping fit, travelling,  not getting stuck in a rut etc.and agreed that we would call each other out if we weren't sticking to them. This has helped so far. 

BrilliantButScary

From another view point:

At 66 years old, when are you going to put yourself first? It sounds like continuing to work is doing you no favours at the moment, as you describe it as stressful and that you are unable to enjoy your hobbies.

Each day you work, is another day nearer to death and none of us know when that will be. I see lots of older people still working, some in poor health, most because they have got too, from the financial perspective. They look 'old'.

You don't have to continue to work from a financial perspective from what you have posted. Are your adult children that are living at home saving for their futures?

Albermarle

Kismet_Hardy said:

ali_bear said:

Two things. Three actually. 

1) You are not indispensible at work. You may think you are, but you are wrong, because nobody is. 

2) Your kids need to learn to fend for themselves. It may sound tough, but you can be overprotective. 

3) The only thing that matters is you. What do you really want, what will make you happy. 

The older I get, the more appreciation I have about precisely how little employers think about you, so that truly isn't a consideration for me. 

I wouldn't say we have spoiled our kids, but they certainly have much more of a protective blanket than I did when I was young (with the exception of love - I always had that from my parents). The two that are living with us do not have partners and, due to the ridiculous costs of buying or renting where we live, have no reasonable chance of moving out for the time being. This is my main concern and I think it is becoming a major concern amongst my peers (although most of my friends have older children who left when times were easier).   

I think I am gradually coming to the conclusion that I want to stop - so thank you.

Regarding the comment in bold, I think that is a reflection of a general societal change, rather than particular to your family. We are more safety conscious than previous generations, and possibly more anxious.
It is of course true that accommodation costs are a problem today, especially in the South of the UK, but in a lot of other ways life is a lot easier than it was 50 years ago.
Have you actually asked them if they want you to continue working so you can afford to give them all a big house deposit? I suspect the answer will be no.

Colleagues have talked about friends they know who have retired (admittedly early) and have aged very quickly.
No doubt your colleagues have witnessed this, but have they compared this with how many they know who have retired who did not age prematurely after retiring. I suspect the latter will vastly outnumber the former.