How do you "let go" of your working life?

Kismet_Hardy

I'm really, really struggling with the decision on when to retire and am hoping that there are others out there who have also struggled and may have some words of wisdom on the topic.

I am now 66, a state pensioner, and in receipt of a couple of DB pensions, but I am continuing to work in 2 roles (associated with the same profession) which are paid on a daily fee basis. The pay is very good, there is a decent amount of flexibility, and I have been slowing down over the past year. I work around 6-8 paid days per month, which would be fine if that was the end of it, but there can be a fair amount of prep and follow up work, plus keeping up with "professional knowledge" and IT changes. Also, I often find myself getting involved in wider matters, which means it sometimes feels like I am working full time. I am incapable of giving anything but 100% to the job - a product, I suspect, of the "working class Protestant work ethic" I was raised with. I have come to hate this aspect of my personality!

There are times when I enjoy the work, the "brain stretch" and the brief moments of interaction with colleagues, but some of the work can be extremely challenging and highly stressful. It takes up a great deal of my headspace and I don't feel able to follow my interests and hobbies in the way that I would like to. 

My husband, who is a few years younger, is not ready to retire and he earns well. We will have enough money coming in, we don't have a mortgage or any debts and, in a few years time, we shall downsize. Our only financial worry relates to our young adult children, 2 of which are still living with us. They are all working, but everything seems so unstable out there at the moment and I worry a great deal about them, particularly in relation to housing. 

Recently, something has happened at work which feels to me like the final straw, but I am struggling with calling it a day. Because each day I work brings in a decent amount of money, I feel like I would let the family down by stopping. I am slowly driving my husband mad by my constant chopping and changing and I really do need to make a decision and stick to it.

Can anyone help me out here please?   

Mrs_Z

If you didn’t work, what would you be doing with your time? If you don’t know, then perhaps that is what’s preventing you from retiring.

oldernonethewiser

Life is about much more than money. 

If you feel you would be letting your family down by not earning, despite recieving pensions, you need to re-evaluate.

Talk to your family. Tell them what you would like to do, once you have figured that out yourself!

If I was in your position I would retire.

Kismet_Hardy

Mrs_Z said:

If you didn’t work, what would you be doing with your time? If you don’t know, then perhaps that is what’s preventing you from retiring.

I do have, or at least did have, other hobbies. I like to paint, but haven't done so for around a decade, and have other creative interests. I would like to read more, get back into exploring history, spend more time in my garden... I have plenty of friends, many of whom do not work and I have a dog. I don't think it is that which is stopping me.  

artyboy

I found it surprisingly easy... but then I started out in an industry that was very "work hard, play hard", but gradually lost the "play" aspect over the years. 

Maybe I'm a dinosaur that can't or won't adapt (at the grand old age of 52), but I just came to the realisation that I didn't want to do it any more. And fortunately it was well enough paid that I really didn't have to - I accept I'm lucky in that respect.

Mrs Arty can't get her head around how I'm happy with this, as I'm effectively doing bits and pieces now, as opposed to having a single driving purpose. But that's fine with me. Perhaps something big will come along, but for now I think I'm sufficiently occupied, and not just an early visitor to gods waiting room...

Marcon

Read your own post. Sometime typing out the question accidentally provides the answer! A lot of your concern seems to be focused on money worries and whether or not you actually have any. Maybe getting that straight in your own mind is your first step to freedom?

Kismet_Hardy

oldernonethewiser said:

Life is about much more than money. 

If you feel you would be letting your family down by not earning, despite recieving pensions, you need to re-evaluate.

Talk to your family. Tell them what you would like to do, once you have figured that out yourself!

If I was in your position I would retire.

I agree, and the truth is that money has not been my main motivator at any stage in my career. I appear to have stumbled into doing well late in life. 

My husband would be happy with whatever I decide to do. I think he is justifiably frustrated by me going round and round in circles with this. 

At the moment, I feel like I want to stop. I think I am afraid of stopping.  

Kismet_Hardy

Thank you both, by the way.

Keep_pedalling

You say that you have interests and hobbies that you are being prevented from doing. This is a good thing because lots of people don’t have these interests to move to once they finish work and really struggle. It sounds like you don’t need the money, so grasp the nettle chuck it in the do the things you really want to do while you can. No one lies on their deathbed regretting they did not spend more time in the office. 

Kismet_Hardy

Keep_pedalling said:

You say that you have interests and hobbies that you are being prevented from doing. This is a good thing because lots of people don’t have these interests to move to once they finish work and really struggle. It sounds like you don’t need the money, so grasp the nettle chuck it in the do the things you really want to do while you can. No one lies on their deathbed regretting they did not spend more time in the office. 

Yes - thank you. You are right. I do have lots I want to do. 

Colleagues have talked about friends they know who have retired (admittedly early) and have aged very quickly. Or alternatively, are struggling to find a project or something to do with their time. I am a little afraid of these possibilities, but I am someone who tends to get on with things. 

Kismet_Hardy

artyboy said:

I found it surprisingly easy... but then I started out in an industry that was very "work hard, play hard", but gradually lost the "play" aspect over the years. 

Maybe I'm a dinosaur that can't or won't adapt (at the grand old age of 52), but I just came to the realisation that I didn't want to do it any more. And fortunately it was well enough paid that I really didn't have to - I accept I'm lucky in that respect.

Mrs Arty can't get her head around how I'm happy with this, as I'm effectively doing bits and pieces now, as opposed to having a single driving purpose. But that's fine with me. Perhaps something big will come along, but for now I think I'm sufficiently occupied, and not just an early visitor to gods waiting room...

Thank you - this is really helpful. I have to say that I am finding it more and more difficult to adapt to the technology aspect of the work! Most of me thinks that I shall be very happy doing my own thing.