How do you "let go" of your working life?

xylophone

 I am incapable of giving anything but 100% to the job - a product, I suspect, of the "working class Protestant work ethic" I was raised with.

I doubt it -  it seems to me that there are people of all classes and religious persuasions (and none) with the "driven/workaholic" type of personality.

finbaar

OP, at 66 your health span is, perhaps, 14 years. Might be a bit longer. Might be a lot shorter. Let's all hope we have healthy long lives. So you need to understand that work doesn't need you and you will soon be forgotten. Concetraing on yourself, your family and friends is the important thing to do.

Kismet_Hardy

Everyone, thank you so much for your posts, which are giving me much to think about. I shall come back to them later, but I am working now and for the next couple of days, so please forgive me if I don't come back immediately. 

diveunderthebonnet

Money/security might be important to you BUT no amount of money can turn the clock back ,i retired at 66 as i loved the job but loved the interaction/company of the people i worked with ,seems like 5 minuets ago but now i find i am 75 ,still enjoy travelling , costs more as insurance goes up ,enjoy my garden and greenhouse but again digging plants/shrubs up is a bit harder ,struggle to get under my car to service it as i hate paying anybody to do what i can do myself etc.
Being comfortable money wise you could pay someone to do the things you used to enjoy but then you loose the enjoyment ,time does not stand still for anyone ,i have two funerals to attend this month and it reminds me that we only have a certain time on this planet and you need to enjoy it while you can.    

SouthCoastBoy

SuffolkWanderer said:

Just to add that reading this thread has struck a real chord with me.  My wife & I could right now be happily retired in our 50s, but what’s stopping me giving up work is knowing that I’m now in a position to put extra aside to make a difference to my kids lives.  I don’t know when I will no longer feel this way.  As Walter White said, “a man provides” …

This is exactly where I am, the longer I work the more I can help my children. 

QrizB

SouthCoastBoy said:

SuffolkWanderer said:

... what’s stopping me giving up work is knowing that I’m now in a position to put extra aside to make a difference to my kids lives.  I don’t know when I will no longer feel this way.

This is exactly where I am, the longer I work the more I can help my children. 

In which case, you might as well admit to yourselves that you're going to end up working until you die just to get that "one more year" that you can pass on to your children.

My kids are both in their 20s and old enough to look after themselves, with the family home here as a safety net in case it all goes wrong. I love them to bits but I'm not carrying on in work for their benefit.

HedgehogRulez

I respect my kids too much to let them rely on me sacrificing my retirement for them. They’ll be responsible adults who can look after their own affairs. They’d be insulted if they thought I was working longer than I needed to to “provide for them”. It’s an insulting train of thought.

dont_use_vistaprint

Kismet_Hardy said:

I'm really, really struggling with the decision on when to retire and am hoping that there are others out there who have also struggled and may have some words of wisdom on the topic.

I am now 66, a state pensioner, and in receipt of a couple of DB pensions, but I am continuing to work in 2 roles (associated with the same profession) which are paid on a daily fee basis. The pay is very good, there is a decent amount of flexibility, and I have been slowing down over the past year. I work around 6-8 paid days per month, which would be fine if that was the end of it, but there can be a fair amount of prep and follow up work, plus keeping up with "professional knowledge" and IT changes. Also, I often find myself getting involved in wider matters, which means it sometimes feels like I am working full time. I am incapable of giving anything but 100% to the job - a product, I suspect, of the "working class Protestant work ethic" I was raised with. I have come to hate this aspect of my personality!

There are times when I enjoy the work, the "brain stretch" and the brief moments of interaction with colleagues, but some of the work can be extremely challenging and highly stressful. It takes up a great deal of my headspace and I don't feel able to follow my interests and hobbies in the way that I would like to. 

My husband, who is a few years younger, is not ready to retire and he earns well. We will have enough money coming in, we don't have a mortgage or any debts and, in a few years time, we shall downsize. Our only financial worry relates to our young adult children, 2 of which are still living with us. They are all working, but everything seems so unstable out there at the moment and I worry a great deal about them, particularly in relation to housing. 

Recently, something has happened at work which feels to me like the final straw, but I am struggling with calling it a day. Because each day I work brings in a decent amount of money, I feel like I would let the family down by stopping. I am slowly driving my husband mad by my constant chopping and changing and I really do need to make a decision and stick to it.

Can anyone help me out here please?   

I worked in senior roles and IT and finance and although I always loved my work and the travel I always planned to retire at 50, I just had so many things that work was stopping me doing, Big multiple month adventures, immersing myself in  study art/ photography and quality time with friends and family. 

No way was I gonna risk having the best years of my life working when I am financially secure free of dependants and have  my health and mind intact. 

As long as I was working even a few days consulting a month, I would be limited to live my dreams. The freedom of total retirement is hard to explain but there’s no consulting or NXD’s, I chaired enough schools and boards in my 40s while working  that stuff Is for other types of people now , sounds like thats what you want though , still needing to be significant and have an impact  ? 

Pat38493

Running out of money is optional.

Running out of time is mandatory.

I have just finished work this week at age 56 after thinking about it for a few years.  My wife already took early retirement a couple of years ago, partly due to health concerns, and is a bit older than me.  I'm not sure it's really sunk in yet as I did my last work day and now packing for a 3.5 week swanky holiday so it will probably start to hit me when I get back and realise I don't have to go back to work!

I have a retirement finance plan which seems to be perfectly fine for us as a couple, and provides a pretty high chance of being able to help the kids out with house deposit or whatever, so I have not firmly set money aside for them but it's in the plan, with the proviso that making sure we are ok financially comes first.  Seems pretty similar to the situation you are in.

Your issue seems to be more psychological, as for many of us, working provides a further sense of purpose outside of the family.  What helps for me a bit is that I am trying not to think of myself as retired - more like taking a break before I decide what to do next.  There are a myriad of opportunities to be useful that don't involve working to corporate deadlines or suchlike.  I also worked in IT and one of my main motivators is that I have just had enough of working in the IT "world" - maybe I'll use my skills later to do some volunteer IT training or such, but not working projects or corporate deadlines.

artyboy

SouthCoastBoy said:

SuffolkWanderer said:

Just to add that reading this thread has struck a real chord with me.  My wife & I could right now be happily retired in our 50s, but what’s stopping me giving up work is knowing that I’m now in a position to put extra aside to make a difference to my kids lives.  I don’t know when I will no longer feel this way.  As Walter White said, “a man provides” …

This is exactly where I am, the longer I work the more I can help my children. 

What, those feckless little wotsits?? Let them experience the real world for themselves and cut out the Netflix and fancy coffees...

Seriously though, I can't be the only one that does think that the boomer/Gen X lot had it much easier than the current Zs in terms of income multiples for getting a house. So I'm happy to try and level the field a bit with my 2 in terms of redistributing our family assets. 

But would any of that influence me to carry on working a moment more than needed.... no.