Money Moral Dilemma: Should I approach my friend's family about the money she owes me?

ShinyStarlight1

You’ve been a caring and generous friend and have had this, and the promise to repay, thrown back in your face. 

I would repeatedly keep asking for the money back, while inwardly deciding that this friendship is over due to the way I’d been treated.

Then I’d decide never to lend money again. I’d also view the money I had loaned to that friend as stolen until it was repaid.

barryjbutler

I suggest that as the amount is substantial you could enter a claim into the small claims court. 

There seems to be a de facto and de jure breach of contract here. She has already acknowledged the existence of the agreement by paying part of the debt back. 

You will need to let her know of your proposed legal proceedings by means of a “letter before action” and you can get guidance on the process by searching Small Claims online.  Don’t forget that you can also claim interest on the debt too….

Pollycat

Rocketdogroya said:

questions:
How old she is? the family of a 60y old will have less impact than a 20y olds family.
How close with her family she is? Does she talk to her mum every day or once a month? everyday and the family may already be aware she has a financial issue just maybe not the details.
How independent is she? Some adults of 40+ still get bailed out by the bank of M+D on a very regular basis.
What is the family dynamic and situation? is there is an obvious matriarch/patriarch? Are they all well off and settled or may they be in financial woes too?
I am close to my family but very independent. if I asked they would help, if someone else 'told' on me 'pack mentality' would happen. 
I agree it has nothing to do with her family to honour the debt but depending on the situation may depend if they can help coerce her.
 

No point asking questions. 
They will not be answered. 
Read the original post.

pragmatism

The loan was a verbal contract between just the two of you so unless there is a written contract stating her family will provide surety for the debt in the event of non - payments they have no role or responsibility in this matter  

This was on Sky news website yesterday under the Money blog section and the reply is still there to read  

The question asked is slightly different but the answer may help you should you choose a legal route  

Every week, the Money blog team answers a reader's financial dilemma or consumer problem - email yours to moneyblog@sky.uk. Today's is…

A neighbour has borrowed more than £1,000 from me with the promise to pay me back by the end of the month. Nothing has been forthcoming. I've sent her texts asking for her to let me know when she is putting it in to my account... no answer at all. What are my legal options?

All the best for a good outcome  

THV

If she owes you money she's not your friend. 

kimwp

Only if you are at the point where you are willing to write off the friendship.

MattMattMattUK

kimwp said:

Only if you are at the point where you are willing to write off the friendship.

If they are not there already then they should be, this person is very obviously not a friend.

moggs119

" neither a borrower nor a lender be ". I don't remember who said that. Good advice though.

jedav

Groom said:

It depends how much is involved, how old she is and what her situation is - for instance is she working, does she go out to restuarants etc. It also depends how much you value her friendship. It's nothing to do with her family, but perhaps the threat of you saying you will ask them, may spur her into paying. Ask her to set up a Direct Debit into your bank every month. 

It would have to be a Standing Order, unless the friend were a business.  Standing Orders can be cancelled easily by the account holder.  However it might make repayments more regular, at least for a while.  You have no legal recourse to the family - how well do you know them to ask anyway?  

If you are eventually repaid, will you trust her as a friend again?  Try talking to her one last time and make sure that you have your evidence lined up in case you need to take legal action (records of payment, copies of written demands).  Do put it in writing, to protect yourself.


Good luck!

JayD

I have no idea how long you have been friends or how well you know her family.or even her financial situation at the time of the loan. All of these factors would inform my response to you.

If this is a really close, long term friend whose family you have spent some time with , then by all means approach them. Explain your situation gently and that this is upsetting you a great deal. 

Whatever the outcome, you will probably have to write this 'friendship' off anyway.l