Money Moral Dilemma: Should I replace my son's Pokémon encyclopaedia that I gave away?

gothvixen

Replace it. You should have gone through their belongings with them present anyway. My Mum gave away all my childhood books to a cousin without asking me, and binned my huge collection of The Face magazine, again without asking, and to me these occasions were further proof that she disliked me and had no respect for me as an individual. It's common decency to treat children as the people they are, not to dominate them as if they have no say in what happens to them or their belongings. Those who say this is a lesson for him are dictatorial and cruel. Would you or they go through an adult's possessions like this? Why do it to a child? I feel sorry for this boy, he's lost something he cared about because you decided to make a mess of the sorting process instead of using it as a way for him to make his own decisions about what matters to him. It's bad parenting, end of.

iyhr

How cruel. You gave a 9 year old an OPT OUT instead if an OPT IN!
You should have asked him to choose the things he DIDN'T want to keep and wait until he wanted to go through them.
I feel so angry when I've been conned into accepting something I don't want because I didn't notice I had to tick a box to OPT out.
Replace it and learn not to con your child.

Bonnypitlad

This is the right time for him to learn a lesson 
how many days, weeks, months did it take him to realise it was missing ?
The next time he is asked to make a decision he will put some more thought/effort into it

04Felix15

If he acknowledges that he should have checked like you asked, and this is the reason why he no longer has it. 

I think he should be allowed another one, lesson learnt. 

Providing it’s affordable, and he looked after it properly this time. 

He’s only 9, and he has been sad about it…
Do it, if you can ! 

supergran40

Poor kid, he has already learnt his lesson.

He thought you were getting rid of stuff he had 'grown out of', he was wrong. No 9 year old has grown out of any encyclopaedia.

He thought you knew him and understood him - clearly you didn't.

He has learnt not to trust you.

You live in the same house, do you not talk to each other? Do you not hear him talking to friends or siblings as they play?

Did you not have your own doubts about any of the items in this 'massive' pile. I would have expected a smaller pile of such items put separately, since you were not doing the whole exercise as a shared activity.

Do you have no remorse?

I suggest you buy a replacement asap, a good second hand one would be fine, and GIVE it to him as an APOLOGY.

CapeTown

He is only 9. Poor lad. Get him another.  Who are all these people wanting to teach him a lesson 

Danien

I came from an abusive household where my stepmother would regularly go through my room and throw out things she didn't want me to have and to search my room for god knows what (I was a good kid and pretty tidy) she was still doing it when I was 17. There are things I would love to have now from my childhood.

Be nice to the kid, he made a simple mistake, if you must, ask him to make a contribution to a second hand book. And you should also take a lesson - sort through things with your kids, not for your kids.

SWwriter

Secondhand £3.50

Missy15

To be fair to you, I personally don't think 9 is too young to learn the value of items whether it be in sentimental or monetary terms.
I would suggest that, as others have said, take him around charity shops to see if you can find a replacement, and then let him buy it with his own money.
Depending on where you took all the clear out, you might even find his!  assuming you didn't chuck everything!
Failing that at Christmas or birthday ask him if he would like a new one or another item that will be a measure of how much he misses it!

CapricornLass

Well, I think I would replace it myself, although he would have to wait until I found/could afford another copy.

Perhaps there's a lesson to be learnt for you here, too.  Next time, box up the toys and books and store it in the loft for six months, just as you would with your own possessions before you dispose of them.  It gives time for situations like this to be resolved very quickly.  Clothes are different, usually they no longer fit.