Money Moral Dilemma: How do I convince my fiancé to pay a greater share of our bills?

MSE_Kelvin
MSE_Kelvin Posts: 393 MSE Staff
Seventh Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My fiancé of 20 years and I constantly argue about money. We've a child aged 16 together and I have two grown-up children from a previous relationship. We split our bills half and half, yet his income is 10 times higher than mine, and I buy almost everything for our son. I've not much money left over to save, whereas my fiancé saves £100s a month. I understand a good way for couples to pay shared bills is pro rata to their income. How do I convince my fiancé that this is how we should do it?

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Comments

  • Emmia
    Emmia Posts: 5,221 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    OT but given they're not married, hopefully wills are in place should the worst happen.
  • kathill55
    kathill55 Posts: 6 Forumite
    First Post
    That’s so unfair! A man that age should know better.
  • Dizzycap
    Dizzycap Posts: 911 Forumite
    500 Posts Second Anniversary Photogenic Debt-free and Proud!
    NBLondon said:
    Savvy_Sue said:
    I have no idea, but I wouldn't be marrying anyone with whom I wasn't basically comfortable about money matters. Are you? 
    If they've been engaged for 20 years - can't see them actually marrying unless there's a sudden legal need.

    If the income disparity has been there for all/most if that time - has it not been discussed before?  If the poster has been paying for everything for their son for 16 years - has that not been discussed before?  If the higher-paid partner hasn't noticed the issue - the only thing that might wake them up is a threat to split.
    Whilst I do agree with you to a degree NBLondon , elsien has equally raised some good points reguarding unanswered questions & being mature enough to sit down as a couple and discuss the financial issues at hand. Maybe an each take their turn at talking approach while the other respectfully listens to the concerns aired rather than replying on their own already formed opinions? And preferable on neutral ground outside of the house/home where distractions can play a large part, but somewhere private:-)
    Wishing you well OP and hope that your dilema can be resolved amicably:-)
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