Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay in full for a break with friends when I can only stay for half?

pragmatism

Summer Shorty’s comments re way forward are a pragmatic approach that the blogger may wish to put on the table with her friends for future trips. I am not sure this a moral dilemma: more an issue of a group needing to consider adjusting to the change in circumstances of a member. If the party is reduced to 5 because a part time attendant is not acceptable individual costs will be higher anyway. 

RavingMad

We, the missus and I, have circles of friends that have different arrangements ie some like to split evenly and some like to cost out their share of the bill. Some friends are tightwads that find themselves "up" on rounds over the evening. We're fine with all this as friendships are hard to keep/maintain over time and money is secondary to this 

As long as it's been agreed beforehand and everyone is happy, then you do what's best for everyone.

We have friends that live month to month that would agree to your arrangement just so you don't lose out on making memories and we have friends with more money than they could spend that would seeth at you suggestion that you paid less then them.

Jemma01

RavingMad said:
We have friends that live month to month that would agree to your arrangement just so you don't lose out on making memories and we have friends with more money than they could spend that would seeth at you suggestion that you paid less then them.

That's very judgemental. You don't know what people are going through and where their money is going, and whether or not they have access to the money at any such time if it is invested. Just because you think they have the money, doesn't mean anything.

This attitude is as problematic as OP's post assuming other ppl can just pay to cover them because they feel their "friendship" qualifies for that.

Hoenir

Whatever the outcome. Don't be surprised to be excluded from future plans. If aren't willing to commit to something then don't.  Me first  is a sure way of getting people's backs up . 

nero33

bikaga said:

I've organised a trip where the only friends with a kid of school age couldn't stay as long - it was a 3 night minimum rental but they could only make Fri-Sun. I offered for them to pay less, but they insisted on paying as much as the others.

I'd be happy for the people staying longer to pay a bit more, but that would need to be agreed upfront, before booking, and it'd have to be for a good reason (otherwise why agree to a trip you can only make half of).

But likewise I don't know your friends, the relationships, if they're maybe short of cash - I can see both sides, so best not to go if you don't think it's worth the full amount (or you can't afford it).

The others are not staying longer.  They are staying the full duration.  It's the OP who wants stay less than half of the days.  Definitely not entitled to any refund.  The group didn't benefit financially that they owe anything to her.

OP needs to opt out of any trips she can't make for the full duration if she thinks she should pay pro-rata

barnehurst

An even split is correct. If people want to vary their attendance thats their business, but cant be splitting, everyone will want a rebate.

 Otherwise it will be like the bloke in the pub who doesnt buy a round because hes a slow drinker