Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay in full for a break with friends when I can only stay for half?

ripongrammargirl

I’m interested to know the other half of the story as to why you could only stay for half of the agreed holiday last year? Was it a work thing come up at the last minute or an emergency for medical reasons etc? Was it a legitimate reason for leaving early? If so I would explain to your friends why you left early after many years of the same trip. However this does not excuse you from paying your agreed share as anyone can have something happen that causes plans to change- due to my poor health I have lost lots of money by not being able to go to planned theatre shows and holidays, but nobody gives me a refund! You must understand that you had a “contract” with your friends so you had to pay your share. It was a very good idea to avoid the same scenario this year. I suggest that you totally clear your schedule for any future trips or just tell them that you are no longer able to take trips with them to avoid any future problems. Plus, don’t you get bored doing the same thing every year? Push the boat out (yes, pun intended!!) and try something new next year such as some days out where you pay at the entrance and not upfront, so you don’t lose out if you can’t make it. 

Julia1960

It’s a difficult one as I can understand you wouldn’t want to pay for days you weren’t there. However, that obviously increases the amount the others would need to pay between them, which also isn’t very fair. Think of it this way, your friends could instead have invited someone to take your place who was able to stay for the whole trip, thus not making any of them out of pocket. If the arrangement had always been that you all paid equal amounts, I feel that’s how it should have continued regardless. After all, it was your decision only to stay for a few days. I think if I’d been in your shoes I’d have either paid the full amount for the shorter stay, or at least made sure they had another friend lined up to take your place for the whole trip. Hope this makes sense?

Kilroy62

You have stated this is a 7 day trip that you all have done for some time  - You have to ask yourself the question -  why are you only free for three days now? its not as if this 7 day trip is a surprise. I would suggest that you either set the 7 days aside next year and avoid the problem or book somehere close for the three days you are free so you can still find time to spend with your friends.

mlz1413

You seem to be the only friend in the group that can't so 7 days.
And that's been 2 years in a row. Plus this year you knew that early enough to decide not to book.

I understand not wanting to pay for what you don't use, but this seems to be an all or nothing.

Can you compromise next year and all do a 3 or 4 day holiday on dates you can all commit to?

Or can you, with a years notice,  commit to 7 days away over Easter 2026?

Do you have other friends who could do the half of the holiday you can't?

I guess the answer is if it's a 7 day holiday or nothing, which option do you want to choose?  

Also how far in advance do you need the dates agreed to arrange 7 days away?

Ed264

I agree with you. If they were true friends, they could be more accommodating with your circumstances. I would be happy to cover the additional costs involved, as I'm sure my friends would too. As you didn't join your friends this year, their costs would have been higher due to your absence!

Lowry1986

Presumably the idea is to share the cost of the holiday to give members of the group a good deal.  Your unused days of the holiday if not paid for by you would increase the cost for the rest of the group.  What if other members opt in and out?  Some group members could find the cost increasing significantly. Its a six day holiday, if you can't commit to it let someone else have the benefit of a good deal.

Pollycat

It doesn't matter what random strangers on t'interweb think.
It matters what 7 people think.
And 6 out of that 7 think you should pay the same as them.
You have decided not to go.
End of.

Jumblebumble

Lowry1986 said:

Presumably the idea is to share the cost of the holiday to give members of the group a good deal.  Your unused days of the holiday if not paid for by you would increase the cost for the rest of the group.  What if other members opt in and out?  Some group members could find the cost increasing significantly. Its a six day holiday, if you can't commit to it let someone else have the benefit of a good deal.

If the friends don't find anyone else to fill the space then the friends are surely paying more each if the OP does not come for 3 days 
Without us knowing if a sub can be found the whole dilemma is acedemic

Wise_old_owl

You should definitely pay the whole cost. I can’t imagine anyone else would want your bed after you’ve slept in it for several nights, so your space won’t be filled. Why should your friends pay extra just because you’re leaving early? 

karendebd

I've had several girls' trips as a group of six and it can be tricky to find dates that suit all so sometimes we're not all there for the whole time due to family/work commitments. BUT we all pay equal split for the accommodation. We feel it's the right thing, as it is tricky to find a suitable location and date, along with the right number of beds/rooms - and cost relates to that! Think of it this way, at least you'll save on food and entertainment 🤷🏼