Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay in full for a break with friends when I can only stay for half?

Katie3691

Sorry but if you agreed to go away then I agree you should pay your full share of the costs, how would you feel if the roles were reversed. It isn't your friends fault that you can only stay 3 days.

LST

I have a different view if it is decided before hand that you can only go for three nights the cost should be shared between each person for each night of their stay if you said you would go for the full stay you pay the full amount after all friends are friends and GOOD ones are hard to come by  

yp70479

Pay up kid!!!!
A group of 6 of us have been going away together for nearly 30 years. We all agree up front what days we can do and find rental houses to suit that week. A choice of 5-6 houses available at that time are then circulated and people rank their top 3. The winner is where we book. If you can't then attend for all or part of the trip you still pay the full cost. 2 of us have missed the whole week for "pet poorly" reasons, another couple have twice missed part of the week for "poor elderly relative" reasons, but we still pay for the accommodation for the whole week. If someone decides before booking that they can't come then we look for a smaller, cheaper house with fewer bedrooms. It's unfair to ask your friends to cough up more money just because you decide to drop out. I agree with "newely retired" that you should only be charged for 3 days worth of food though 

LizzieFlorence

Let's put it this way. If you have agreed to split the cost 7 ways then you are all receiving the benefit. Therefore the 3 days you stay cost the same as everyone else. If you leave after 3 days however the remaining cost for those remaining goes up. Ask yourself is it fair that by subsidising you they have to pay more ? It also could be that by dividing the cost by 7 everyone was able to go and the extra cost that is incurred by you leaving might make it unaffordable for others in the group.

akira181

It depends when the trip was booked, all you've said is that you and your friends book it every year. A detail most people commenting seem to have missed.

If you said you can only do 3 days and will only pay for your time there before it was booked, then that's fair. They can either agree and book it, say no and invite someone else, or split it 6 ways if you don't go.

If it was booked first and then you discovered you can't make it, you already committed so you should pay up and not burden your friends. It's your problem that you can't make the full time after committing, don't make it theirs as well.

dyl42

As it's Easter is there a minimum rental, 4 days / a week. A lot of places will do that in busy periods. Are the groups booking a bigger place because of the 7th person or is it the same. 6 people could fit into a smaller and cheaper boat. 
If there's a 7th bed available for the person and it's unoccupied otherwise it seems reasonable that he pays towards it for the whole week. There could be compromises around him taking the smallest sleeping space, the uncomfortable sofa bed, as he's only there 3 days and paying less on that basis.
Guess there's a kitty and fair that they pay into that for the days they're there.
Some people have said alternate dates, but can be hard to find dates that work for so many so I expect this is something that everyone has planned around for years. Also for shorter break - I'd expect friends like a week away and shorter break to accommodate 1 person would lead to resentment. Though as people get more responsibilities outside the groups of friends - families and work - less can make the full week so it ends up being a long weekend or less members of the group going. Make the most of it while you can.
In the end I agreed with commentors that it's up to you to agree with friends how this works and there isn't a right or wrong.

Epsomdtc

Negotiate.
Either you are part of the problem, or part of the solution.
Come with ideas & workable alternatives.
Happy hols!

Jemma01

If you already agreed to the price and they paid a deposit for that year, then you can't just change your mind, they all agreed to a price and it's like a contract.

If no booking had been made at the time of you changing your mind, then you owe them nothing.

If the deposit was already paid, and you decided to let them down entirely by not going, then you're the AH, I wouldn't go with someone like you on a trip again. Unreliable. Ppl can't just fork out money to cover for what you agreed to pay.

Brie

I'd say an even split for the barge hire but less for food and drinks as that is not required if you are not there.

primrose_penguin

From your post it sounds as if in the past you have gone for the full 7 day break, it is only the past 2 years where you have not been able to do the full week. The trouble is by you asking to pay less it means you friends are having to pay more. Did someone go in your place this year if so the cost would have been evenly spread? If not your friends would have had to pay extra to cover the missing person, so if you had gone for 3 nights and paid half the normal shared cost they would have saved some money. Self catering of any sort is the whole cost regardless of how many people share the accommodation. Only you can decide if you either arrange your time off so you can spend the 7 days with them at Easter or you go with them for the 3 nights and pay the full amount (if they will not budge), it depends how much you enjoy going. If you were all staying in a hotel together you could pay for own room for however many nights you wanted to stay without impacting on anyone else.