Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay in full for a break with friends when I can only stay for half?

Shiftyxx

Why should your friends pay extra because you can't stay the whole time? If you paid only half, they're better off getting someone who is willing to pay their fair share. Pay up and stop moaning, or you'll lose your friends.

Falconer13

Unless you or your friends can get someone for the other 4 nights you should pay the full amount. However you should only pay for 3 days food. 

Sim0nandj0

I’ll bet you take a calculator out to the restaurant as well in case you pay 50p too much 

cheshire123

From my view, you had a fair point - why should you pay the full amount? It's the same problem when we eat out with friends - me and my partner don't drink alcohol (health & choice) & don't 'pig out' but end up with the split anyhow. Asking to pay just your bill seems to cause resentment but I'm unsure why. I always think if people really are your friends why not be fair and equitable! Being made to feel guilty or excluded is never nice, and people who do that I think are out of order. I get why they may be a bit annoyed, but I would imagine you had your reasons to only stay for part of it, maybe something last minute? However, if it's because they're a bit much/too much drinking maybe/you wanted to do something (tempting) with other people etc. then maybe the situation of the friendship's altered & needs to be rethought. You can feel tied in with some people like some set-in-stone thing - friendship shouldn't feel forced or cause some sort of rejection thing, no-one feels comfortable with that. It depends, doesn't it. Good luck!

JayD

I can only give my personal opinion. I don't know your friends, or how close you are with them. But, assuming they are normal, happy friends that you have shared many barge holidays with over 'many years', I would think it is only right that they should expect this year to have been like all the others - and would have budgeted accordingly. So, in a way, you would be letting them down by suddenly paying less this year.Therefore, I think you should have gone, enjoyed your three days together, and paid your normal whack.

Sadly, by even suggesting you pay less may well have ruffled feathers and thoughts about this would have been shared in your absence. On that alone, I think it was unwise to have had a hissy fit over it and not gone at all.

aintreemaid

Ed264 said:

I agree with you. If they were true friends, they could be more accommodating with your circumstances. I would be happy to cover the additional costs involved, as I'm sure my friends would too. As you didn't join your friends this year, their costs would have been higher due to your absence!

Their costs may not have been higher if they booked a 6-berth rather than a 7-berth boat.

cannugec5

How is the barge rental costed? Is it £x per person per week or £x per person per night? Or a fixed rate per week? 

If the cost is per person per week and you only stay part of the week who pays the difference? If it is per person per night ( I doubt it) then you are justified in paying a reduced fee. If it is a fixed weekly rate (most likely) then tough. It’s a take it or leave it situation. Nobody else should be subsidising your inability to stay a whole week. 

Richie244

No you shouldn’t have to pay the same as the rest, simply hire your own barge and buy your own food etc. that way they can find someone to fill the space and you only pay for what you want. 

af1963

Shiftyxx said:

Why should your friends pay extra because you can't stay the whole time? If you paid only half, they're better off getting someone who is willing to pay their fair share. Pay up and stop moaning, or you'll lose your friends.

Alternatively, if they don't get anyone else coming along in OPs place, they will need to split the accommodation costs 6 ways instead of 6.5 ways.

If it happens again, maybe the way to approach it is: "I can't commit to the full week, so go ahead and book whatever suits the rest of you.  If you end up with a spare space anyway, I'd love to come for the few days I can manage, and will happily chip in for the costs for the time I can be there " ?

cheryle

The booking is for x days whether you are there or not, so you should pay for the whole stay.  What can your friends do with an empty bed? 

They have booked for the whole time and they are paying whether they are there are not also. If they all went home early they would still have to pay the owner. 

 The only way round this is, if your friends agreed, is to have someone take your place and pay for the days they are present.  However, the problem would be is if they don’t all get on.