NEED ADVICE ON LAZY SON

Exodi

Emmia said:

silvercar said:

Emmia said:

Sapindus said:

Emmia said:

My parents charged "rent" when we were back for uni holidays

I take issue with this - the student loan system actually works on the expectation that parents give support to their studying offspring, because it pays less if they are living at home during term time.  Maybe if the student is earning money during the holidays then they might be asked to make a contribution to the family finances if these are a bit tight, but seems wrong to ask them to pay over money that's intended to help them with the costs of studying.
 

Personally I have no issue with my parents approach. It is right in my view that adults (which uni students usually are) contribute to the cost of running the household.

To pay the "rent" (which wasn't a huge amount) my siblings and I all worked during our university holidays. Normally I had two jobs and worked 7 days a week during the holidays, to save money that would help with uni expenses in term time when I couldn't work. 

To be clear I didn't live at home, term time.

I paid rent when I dropped out of my A'levels and went to work full time - I also had to carry on with my A'levels (although it was pointless) until I had a job - no quitting and lying around on the sofa all day, claiming benefits.

You probably think this is harsh, and actually my parents didn't need the "rent"...  but the reality, as an adult outside of the family home is that you need to pay your way - so why not at home too?

If you don't want to charge your kids that's fine, but personally I think you set yourself up to be abused as a hotel when they finish uni too, as they won't feel they need to pay, and won't move out as it's "too expensive".

I found the opposite to your last sentence. In the knowledge that home was always available if things didn’t work out elsewhere, my kids did move out soon after uni. Once they secured proper jobs, they fled the nest. 

If you don’t need the rent money, why charge it? Deprive your kids of having some savings to fall back on? Surely it makes more sense, to have them at home but encourage them to use what would be rent money to get into the habit of saving. 

You assume kids will save the money they're saving in rent, and not spaff it on nights out, clothes, a fancier car etc.

Paying rent encourages them to work, rather than lying on the sofa all day, or getting up at noon.

We don't agree on this point, I think rent is reasonable, you don't.

My experience aligns with Emmia's. 

The downside from not charging rent is there is less motivation to look for a job when everything is paid for. While your children may be role models to us, there are plenty of others whom, even if they do have a job, may not take advantage of their living situation to maximise their savings and pension opportunities, but instead get a really expensive car on finance, get takeaways for breakfast lunch and dinner and as Emmia said, spaff it on nights out. 18 year olds are hardly renowned for their financial prudence.

Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, but I felt "If you don’t need the rent money, why charge it? Deprive your kids of having some savings to fall back on?" was a bit below the belt.

Have you considered that it's possible that the parent may opt to save it on their childs behalf? In my case for example, my parents charged me £300 a month in keep as soon as I wasn't in education (adjusted for inflation).

After a year or two, they suprised me by telling me they'd been keeping it in a tin in their room, and it was going to be used to pay for my driving lessons and to buy my first car. I really appreciated them doing that, because at the time I couldn't spend my money I received fast enough, and there's no way I would have been able to do that on my own - I was your stereotypical 18 year old, going out getting drunk on every day that ended in a 'y', on first name terms with the takeaway delivery drivers, etc.

That's not to say your stance is wrong either. Children are obviously raised very differently and I'll be open in acknowledging that my mother wasn't good with money and taught us very little on this front. I think I have since spent my adulthood overcompensating for it.

If your children have been firmly raised to learn the value of money, are chomping at the bit to get jobs and wouldn't dream of wasting money or being unemployed, that's good for you. However you can appreciate not all children are like this, and it doesn't sound like the OP's is either.

Many people on this thread suggested charging rent.