Should my partner be charging me rent?

FlorayG

dollypug123 said:

kimwp said:

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

So the income from the friend is well over the rent a room allowance? Does your partner complete a tax return?

No he doesn't. And when I raised this with him initially -- that he may have to declare this income (our rents) and pay tax on it he said he wouldn't be doing that. I think this is wrong, however I don't want to be in a relationship where I am trying to get my partner into trouble... 

Nothing more needs to be said I think. The guy's a shyster and a crook and now I begin to believe he's also claiming single person discount on his CT. Good luck to you OP

Section62

dollypug123 said:

kimwp said:

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

So the income from the friend is well over the rent a room allowance? Does your partner complete a tax return?

No he doesn't. And when I raised this with him initially -- that he may have to declare this income (our rents) and pay tax on it he said he wouldn't be doing that. I think this is wrong, however I don't want to be in a relationship where I am trying to get my partner into trouble... 

It is your partner getting himself into trouble.

Your involvement is to decide the degree to which you want to be associated with that, or distance yourself from his wrongdoing as soon as you can.

BikingBud

dollypug123 said:

kimwp said:

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

So the income from the friend is well over the rent a room allowance? Does your partner complete a tax return?

No he doesn't. And when I raised this with him initially -- that he may have to declare this income (our rents) and pay tax on it he said he wouldn't be doing that. I think this is wrong, however I don't want to be in a relationship where I am trying to get my partner into trouble... 

As I said before:

BikingBud said:

dollypug123 said:

Mr.Generous said:

Is there going to be an annual rent review clause by the way, and what about a depoisit in case you cause damage?

I initially said that I if he wanted to charge me rent I wanted a rental agreement. He said that was ridiculous and that if I wanted our relationship to be like that I should move out.  

That seems to seal the deal then!

Sapindus

dollypug123 said: I don't want to be in a relationship where I am trying to get my partner into trouble... 

Do you want to be in a relationship where you are complicit in your partner breaking the law?

Marvel1

dollypug123 said:

kimwp said:

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

So the income from the friend is well over the rent a room allowance? Does your partner complete a tax return?

No he doesn't. And when I raised this with him initially -- that he may have to declare this income (our rents) and pay tax on it he said he wouldn't be doing that. I think this is wrong, however I don't want to be in a relationship where I am trying to get my partner into trouble... 

Says it all for me about him.

Bonniepurple

OP, what you are describing is not a healthy relationship.  A healthy one is where the people partner and share according to ability/needs.  That  might mean one  paying more into the pot while the other studies/is on a temporary low wage- but with the knowledge that you both benefit in the long term.  There doesn’t seem to be any benefit for you.  You don’t have your own house, even your own room.  You’re not allowed to know how much the bills are and what is a reasonable share (eg if you are out all day while your other half and the lodger are at home, then splitting the bills 3 equal ways isn’t fair.

I would be checking your finances and have an escape fund set up.

BrilliantButScary

In effect you are saving both your boyfriend and the lodger approx 17% of the cost of bills. 

Just as a matter of interest, how do you sort out grocery, cleaning materials costs etc?

Who does the cooking/cleaning etc ?

The benefits of being in a partnership are not just monetary. Perhaps your boyfriend needs to reflect on  what you bring to the table.

How long have you been in this relationship?

Uriziel

If you are so fed up that you are sharing things like these on the internet you should not be in a relationship. If he knew that you did this he probably would also not want to be with you anymore as the question is very subjective and is completely up to you.
You have also said several times he is not always following the rules. You should generally try to stay away from people who are not happy to follow rules as them getting intro trouble will also impact your life. You also write that he is not happy to share information with you which sounds like there is no trust and he is not interested in your opinion but would like you to just do as he asks. Can you imagine a life where you never get any answers or the full picture? I think it makes sense to leave in this scenario.

silvercar

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

The friend pays £700 a month plus 1/3 of the bills to live in a two bedroom flat containing three people
Is he mad or is the flat in Central London?

The flat is in London Zone 2 yes. 

My son rented a room from friends that were a couple and paid about £1,000 including bills in Zone 2. I don’t think £700 + bills is extortionate. 

WIAWSNB

Possibly unfair of me to ask again, Dolly, but you haven't actually told us what your gut - your heart of hearts - says about all this. Not for you to necessarilly answer on here, but to dwell on.

I don't mean about his relatively small indiscretions regarding tax and stuff (surely very common, tho' hardly favourable towards his calibre), but that his reasoning appears to be that, since he is saving you money - as a complete aside of you being togther - he should get a chunk of it. He's somehow entitled to it.

He wouldn't have this money in any other way - he cannot exploit his flat beyond what he's currently doing, as he only has one spare room.

"I initially said that I if he wanted to charge me rent I wanted a rental agreement. He said that was ridiculous and that if I wanted our relationship to be like that I should move out." That just screams gaslighting. 

He seemingly reckons is ok for him to charge you rent, but not have a rental agreement - he reckons that's fine, that's normal, that's fair, that's right, that's reasonable. But if you suggest that you shouldn't be paying rent as you are partners, but will put monies saved into a 'future' pot for you both, that's not reasonable. Or if you suggest that you should have a rental agreement if you must pay him rent, that's also unreasonable.

Only 'his' way is reasonable! Well, that just ain't true.

"He said that was ridiculous and that if I wanted our relationship to be like that I should move out." Do you think you will test that?