Should my partner be charging me rent?

WIAWSNB

Section62 said:

I wonder if his reluctance over the council tax might be he is claiming the single occupier discount and doesn't want the OP to find out [what a shady character he sounds to be]?

Apart from possibly claiming single-occupier CT, and apart from very likely not paying income tax on the mate's rent, and apart from being cagey - at best - with information, and apart from trying to effectively extort monies from you ("You can leave..."), he sounds quite a catch.

I'm being flippant, Dolly, but - seriously - this doesn't sound ideal. And I wouldn't leave your pug behind either.

FlorayG

Section62 said:

Sapindus said:

dollypug123 said:

*with his friend's monthly contribution he does take home more than me per month. But he also pays his course fees (about 6k / year for two years).

...

Still no clear explanation from him as to why he won't tell you how much the council tax and service charge are so you can pay half, unless it's that he knows this "rent" plan is unreasonable.

I wonder if his reluctance over the council tax might be he is claiming the single occupier discount and doesn't want the OP to find out [what a shady character he sounds to be]?

ha ha I love the way we're all digging into this poor bloke's character when it may be that he's just misinformed and not understanding the situation...or you may be right @Sapindus we may never know...

kimwp

It's just not reflecting my understanding of a partnership - sharing resources (rather than one person taking from the other) and being open about finances.

I think Dolly needs to think seriously about whether this aligns with her idea of a long term partnership because it's not a partnership I'd want to be in - secrets and one person seeking to gain a greater financial position by weakening their partners financial position.

dollypug123

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

FlorayG

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

The friend pays £700 a month plus 1/3 of the bills to live in a two bedroom flat containing three people
Is he mad or is the flat in Central London?

dollypug123

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

The friend pays £700 a month plus 1/3 of the bills to live in a two bedroom flat containing three people
Is he mad or is the flat in Central London?

The flat is in London Zone 2 yes. 

kimwp

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

So the income from the friend is well over the rent a room allowance? Does your partner complete a tax return?

dollypug123

kimwp said:

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

So the income from the friend is well over the rent a room allowance? Does your partner complete a tax return?

No he doesn't. And when I raised this with him initially -- that he may have to declare this income (our rents) and pay tax on it he said he wouldn't be doing that. I think this is wrong, however I don't want to be in a relationship where I am trying to get my partner into trouble... 

kimwp

dollypug123 said:

kimwp said:

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

So the income from the friend is well over the rent a room allowance? Does your partner complete a tax return?

No he doesn't. And when I raised this with him initially -- that he may have to declare this income (our rents) and pay tax on it he said he wouldn't be doing that. I think this is wrong, however I don't want to be in a relationship where I am trying to get my partner into trouble... 

Yeah, he's evading tax in that case, even with just his friends rent, which is illegal. I think my opinion about whether you stay in this relationship is clear, it's up to you, these things are never just about financial arrangements.

sheramber

dollypug123 said:

kimwp said:

dollypug123 said:

FlorayG said:

dollypug123 said:

He wants me to pay him 350 / month in rent (not including bills) -- half of what his friend pays because it's half of the space. We are in our mid thirties. 

So the friend living there pays 1/3 of the bills as well as his rent (same arrangement)? I bet he doesn't. Because if you pay rent AND part of the bills that's not lodgings, that's shared costs and there aren't any rental costs if he owns the flat outright.
It's not 'half the space'. The friend has his own room and you don't. Also if he's talking about rent-for-space that's lodgings and he can't ask you to contribute to bills as well
Your partner wants to have his cake and eat it.
From the responses here it's clear that 90% of respondents think it's not on to ask you to pay rent

All bills except for CT and the service charge go onto a Splitwise and are split equally between 3. 

So the income from the friend is well over the rent a room allowance? Does your partner complete a tax return?

No he doesn't. And when I raised this with him initially -- that he may have to declare this income (our rents) and pay tax on it he said he wouldn't be doing that. I think this is wrong, however I don't want to be in a relationship where I am trying to get my partner into trouble... 

it he said he wouldn't be doing that

which gives more information about his character. 

Do you want to be in a relationship where you resent what your partner is asking  you to pay  for the privilege of living with him?

What  you pay is between the two of you and if you are happy with the arrangement then fine. .

But , by asking on here , it sounds like you are not happy about it.  

You need to sort out your relationship with him, not with anonymous members on a forum.