Should my partner be charging me rent?

WIAWSNB

Even if her partner had a mortgage, he shouldn't be charging her. In such a situation, he should be able to cover the cost of his mortgage, or just not have one. But by having a mortgage, he is accumulating wealth by buying his home - the single biggest financial move you can make. She would be in limbo, should they split up.

So, with him having a mortage on his home, a partner living in and contributing half to the 'living' costs (that's everything; CT, energy, fud, BB, etc etc) would make him much better off, and find it easier to pay his mortgage for his home. And the partner - who doesn't have the same benefit of being on the housing ladder like him - should be putting her resulting savings into a 'for their future' account. If they marry, it's all shared. If they split up, she's hopefully got a wee nest egg to get her on her feet. 

If, instead, she started conspicuously contributing to 'his' mortgage, she could - as I understand it, but could be wrong - accumulate a legal interest in the property.

Keep things separate, so in the unfortunate event of a break up, the parting should be as smooth and painless as possible, and not murked by shared contributions towards a mortgage.

In this case, however, this privileged fellow does not even have a mortgage. So, he is simply making money from his supposed loved one.

My gawd. Does he pluck petals; "I love you. I love your money too. I love you..."

If he is below, say, 25 years old, he may 'just' be immature. But still worrying.

General_Grant

Do not have a joint account.
When this relationship ends it will be easier and you don't want a financial association with this person.

Marvel1

saajan_12 said:

FlorayG said:

I think he's a bit bl00dy entitled and I wouldn't be staying there. He's been gifted the flat and wants to charge his partner rent? That's not a relationship I would be pursuing. Share of bills, yes, fine, quite normal to expect you to pay 1/3 the council tax and 1/3 the service charges. (A third because there are three people living there)
Never heard anything so outrageous I'd be on my bike ASAP

Same can be said the other way.. OP has a place to live and wants to pay 0 rent? That's not a relationship I would be pursuing. 

I would look at it as if they were both splitting rent on a room in a share house elsewhere, then they'd both pay £~350 each plus bills. The fact that its in a property he owns is between him and his family, why should OP benefit from a gift they didn't receive? 

But he can kick her out anytime, cann that happen in a share house elsewhere?

OneThranWeeCutty

dollypug123 said:

My partner and I have been arguing over this for months.I cannot see the wood from the trees.

My partner owns his flat outright (gift from parent). 

2 bedrooms. 1 room is rented out to a friend. We share the other room (for the last 3 months)

We 3 split bills (electric, gas, water, internet) equally. 

My partner wants me to pay him ‘rent’ on top of bills, at half the rate his friend pays. 

He says this will cover council tax and the flat’s service charge, but he refuses to tell me how much the council tax and service charge are. I say I'd be happy to split the cost of these but want to know what the costs are. He also says the money will help him pay for a course he is doing. 

I say the arrangement feels like he is profiting from me, that I am happy to share the cost of bills but unsure about giving him money on top. He says that I am already profiting from him as I’m paying less in rent and living in his home. 

I suggested putting the ‘rent’ into a joint fund that can go toward joint things like furniture, holidays. He refuses, says that this is just another way of me not paying.
It this fair?

This course he’s doing.  Was there much of a gap between him paying for his course and asking you for rent…? 

silvercar

Devils advocate: maybe he wants to see that you are with him because you like/ love him rather than see him as a way to a free home? 

HampshireH

silvercar said:

Devils advocate: maybe he wants to see that you are with him because you like/ love him rather than see him as a way to a free home? 

Perhaps but  - I'm going to charge you rent some will cover my bills and the rest will pay for me to go to uni - doesn't suggest that.

OP hasn't indicated they want a free home and has been fully open to paying their way they have just asked what that cost truly is and been denied that information 

Tabieth

silvercar said:

Devils advocate: maybe he wants to see that you are with him because you like/ love him rather than see him as a way to a free home? 

Maybe but, if so, it’s an odd approach. The not saying how much the service charge is comes across as controlling. And the OP has made clear they are willing to contribute towards costs. I’m aware we only have one version of events, but it’s ringing loud alarm bells for me. If I were in this situation I’d be extracting myself. 

dollypug123

Hi all, thanks for your thoughtful replies to my post. 

My partner's argument for me giving him money on top of running costs is that he'll be subsidising my life (I'm living in his home for less than it would cost me on the private market), so why should I not also subsidise his life by giving him cash? 

Tabieth

dollypug123 said:

Hi all, thanks for your thoughtful replies to my post. 

My partner's argument for me giving him money on top of running costs is that he'll be subsidising my life (I'm living in his home for less than it would cost me on the private market), so why should I not also subsidise his life by giving him cash? 

I’d say that’s a very reasonable stance for two people who share a flat, not for a couple in a relationship. 

dollypug123

Tabieth said:

dollypug123 said:

Hi all, thanks for your thoughtful replies to my post. 

My partner's argument for me giving him money on top of running costs is that he'll be subsidising my life (I'm living in his home for less than it would cost me on the private market), so why should I not also subsidise his life by giving him cash? 

I’d say that’s a very reasonable stance for two people who share a flat, not for a couple in a relationship. 

I agree with you. I'm interested to hear your reasoning?