Money Moral Dilemma: Should I stop paying for my irresponsible friend when we go out?

_nate

You should do precisely what you want to do.

It's a bit ridiculous to offer to pay and then moan about it later.

Eatsruns

"No petrol in the car? Why don't we come to yours? We're economising too. We'll bring a bottle of wine and you can cook dinner, how does that sound?"

Agent57

You already know the answer to your question.

Rocketdogroya

Playing devils advocate: 

Every relationship has a give and take element. I don't mean only monetary. Some people are natural takers and forget to be generous like you in items but they give back in other ways, they may be so much fun and laughter its cheaper than seeing a comedy show. They maybe wild and it brings out a side of you that is normally hidden or wise and caring and you need the emotional support.
They obviously bring something more than money to the party as you say you enjoy their company. 

Slowly cut down on your offers to pay and see what happens let them know for you money is tight.

They maybe unknowingly taking advantage and may notice the change and have less takeaways to spend more time with you.
If they are knowingly taking advantage you will notice if they change.

Mr5Micawber

People like that are not real friends! Maybe they don't realise the resentment you feel but it's difficult to tell people straight so if you can't it would be better for you to test their friendship.  Like, make excuses ('oh, we haven't got any fuel either, can't make it after all') and stop offering to pay.  You are subsidising them by stupidly supporting their 'irresponsible' behaviour!   

Pollycat

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My friend and her partner are irresponsible with money, wasting it on takeaways and other treats. She often asks us to collect them when we go out as they've no fuel in their car, and readily accepts if we offer to pay for meals and drinks, which we do knowing that they're often short of money. Yet I'm sure that they earn more than us. I don't want to damage our relationship and would miss going out with them, but why should we keep paying for their irresponsible behaviour?

If someone is 'irresponsible with money', I wouldn't be offering to drive them about and pay for their meals and drinks.
That would make me irresponsible with my money.

Livingonanisland_

Stop enabling them.  They're not friends, they're parasites.  Love the suggestion that you should tell them you're short of cash & say you'd be happy to go to theirs for a meal.  Treat people the way they treat you & you won't go far wrong.  Good luck!!

THV

Save your money and stop enabling them. They're most likely just using you, you don't need friends like them.

Shell1989

Stop paying for them, they agreed to go out with you for dinner / drinks right? So then they must have the money to pay for themselves, else they’d of said no.

gben

I agree with all the comments.  The irresponsible couple need educating in sound money management, and Martin Lewis's website is a perfect starting point!