Money Moral Dilemma: Should I stop paying for my irresponsible friend when we go out?

IvonH

Yes. Offer every other time, provided they offer every other time.  Or say you'll each pay your own bills and then stick to it.  They are not your children and you are not responsible for them.

squirrel59

Been there, done that - for years and years. And then our eyes opened, we stopped funding them, and the friendship stopped with it. Reality was that we were great friends to them, but they weren't to us.

ripongrammargirl

I wonder if they are real friends or just leeches, laughing at you behind your back? Stop paying for them immediately and test the “friendship” by saying you can’t afford to go out this week and see if they offer to pay. If they make excuses or are very vague in being helpful then ditch them as they are greedy individuals who don’t value you or the friendship but just see you as a gullible purse for them. 

Why are some people so horrible and nasty, abusing friendships and just taking never giving?Always remember the golden rule: “if you are a giver then know your limits as takers don’t have any.”

Marcon

My friend and her partner are irresponsible with money, wasting it on takeaways and other treats. She often asks us to collect them when we go out as they've no fuel in their car, and readily accepts if we offer to pay for meals and drinks, which we do knowing that they're often short of money. Yet I'm sure that they earn more than us. I don't want to damage our relationship and would miss going out with them, but why should we keep paying for their irresponsible behaviour?

Surely the question you need to ask yourself is not 'why should you' but 'why do you'? Answer that and your 'dilemma' is solved.

primrose_penguin

You are very good natured but why would you keep offering to pay for their meals and drinks if you think they earn more than you? They will never be responsible if you keep bailing them out, you are virtually condoning their behaviour. It sounds to me that the relationship between you is one sided and if by saying you cannot pick them up or don't offer to pay for their meals you loose their friendship, then they were never true friends in the first place, you would be better off without them. 

gloriouslyhappy

Ditch them, they’re not your friends, and enjoy spending the cash savings, from not constantly subsidising them, on yourself.

sclare

Why on earth do you offer to pay? And what makes you think they'll ever say no? 

keithyno.1

They pay their way, simple as. If not, ditch them. You KNOW they're taking the mickey (I could have used a stronger word!) out of you - don't put up with it any longer. 

AndrewAfresh2

When the waiter brings the bill, say you've discovered a fabulously helpful bill splitter app - if they say they don't have enough money to pay their share, is there one which allows you to keep track of how much is owed to who?
Say you want to take it in turns to drive, so that you two can drink (if you don't drink much, say you've heard stories of police being stricter).

CapeTown

Good grief. Ditch these parasites now. Can you not see how they are using you.