Let's get this sorted then!

Rhyddid2026

I went to yoga, but I had to leave class early as work were phoning. I worked until 11pm, but I had a couple of hours off in between and made jam. I don't think it tastes as good as last year's but I'll buy a croissant tomorrow and give it a proper taste.

Rhyddid2026

I have today off. Lunch with my mum was postponed and I took my car to the garage yesterday instead of today, so I have absolutely nothing to do. I had a lie in, then I read on my hammock. I think I will continue with that for the afternoon.

I have been working every evening to try to clear the backlog but Wednesday evening I crashed and went straight to bed from work. I've nearly caught up on the urgent and overdue stuff though and I'm feeling much better mentally for it.

No plans all weekend, except the usual chores. I might sow some new seeds to see if I can get something edible from this garden this year.

Rhyddid2026

I read a whole (small) book in the hammock on Friday, it was bliss.

Saturday I volunteered at parkrun then had a sleep before doing a couple of hours painting the garden wall. I almost chickened out of being in the garden too long at one point, but I put some music on and gave myself a talking to and carried on.

Today we did an early dog training session, then came home for more sleep, and now I'm going to go do another couple of hours in the garden painting the wall. It took me a good couple of weeks last year.

As I've had some extra rest I've had the brain space to photograph a few things for vntd. I'll post them up later.

Rhyddid2026

I had an existential crisis on Sunday. Let down by another friend who had made allll the promises of good things. So then obviously started ruminating on aaaalllllll the friends and family who have done similar lately, and just how alone I am in most things. Then I had prosecco and made a plan to sort my life out.

I know I've suggested it on here a few times, but I do really want to spend some money to get my house presentable. I don't mean fancy, I mean a fully working kitchen, one that friends won't be afraid to eat out of, one without an army of slugs who raid my fruit bowl overnight, ideally some new guttering on the conservatory to stop the drains blocking so often. I might even push the boat out and get replace the skirting board that's been missing since 2019. I go around in circles thinking I can and should do it myself, or I can and should wait for that friend/family member who said they'd do it for me, and then that doesn't happen and get full of resentment and miserable. But feel like I can't spend money when I'm in so much debt. I think I said last month that I'm working such long hours and my job is so much harder now, I have to start seeing the benefit to keep me going. Often when I have time I don't have the energy, and every few months my health takes a dive and I need to spend days in bed recovering, and then obviously fall behind in everything again.

The same with dog minders. I'm getting into trouble with work because I haven't been doing the visits I'm meant to. It's been too hot to take the dogs in the car, my usual dog minder had no free days in the whole of July and August. The usual friends and family said they'd help but didn't. So I've accepted that I need to find another dog minder or two, and that I'll have to start putting a couple of hundred aside each month to pay for it. If people can help out or the cheaper minder can do the odd day, then great, but I am out of time and I cannot wait for a miracle anymore.

The above also applies to my health, fitness, and social life. I'm getting nowhere, going around in circles, and I'm getting more and more miserable.

So! The debt payments might have to slow down for a bit while I get a few other things sorted. I won't be spending thousands, probably a few hundred each month for the next couple of months, but I'm really hitting a wall now.

I've contacted 2 new dog sitters. Neither of them can help all the days I need it, but I should be able to make some things work. It'll be an improvement at least. I've also contacted an odd job man (a better one than the last one, I have used him before), he's coming around on Tuesday for a chat and a measure. I'm still considering getting a cleaning company to do a deep clean of downstairs. I might be able to keep on top of it better then. Or my health/job might mean I need to get it deep cleaned twice a year or something. Either way I need to stop beating myself up about it. I'm trying my best to do a lot of things with a little.

If/when I clear the backlog at work and pay for a few other things around the house, I might even have the energy for a side hustle to make some of that money back. Something that I could do when I'm well and when work is settled, but stop for a few weeks when I need to.

I am obviously still trying to get my head around it all and stop telling myself I can't possibly pay for these things when I have a roof loan at 8.9% because every spare penny needs to be thrown at that, but I genuinely don't think I'll be able to keep doing this serious debt repayment if I don't invest in myself a bit soon. I work hard. My job is hard. I contribute to society. I've spent the week mulling it all over and trying to get myself used to the idea of spending some money. It still feels uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as I felt on Sunday. Nobody else is coming to save me.

FootyFanDan

Ah I am so sorry to read that things are very tough at the minute, and it isn't helped by people you felt you could rely on letting you down. It might not be the MSE way of things but sometimes you have to take a diversion from the full on debt journey, especially if it is really starting to impact on other areas of your life and making you feel fed up and miserable. In an ideal world we all want rid of the debt as quick as possible, but that shouldn't come at the sacrifice of you living life a bit too. It has to be balanced. I find myself in similar situations at time with spending money, I tend to be a lot more reluctant to splash cash but sometimes it just has to be done to make your home/social time bearable. It sounds like you work extremely hard and in trade off you need to be able to be comfortable enjoying your time off in whatever makes you feel like the working is benefiting you.

Rhyddid2026

To balance out the doldrums - I started this year with negative net worth (as I've been all my adult life) but now its around 12k. 12k may not seem like much, but it's a huge amount to me.

I'm using an estimate of my house being revalued. The estate agent reckons 126 -140k but I have no kitchen so I'm confident I could get 120k in it's current state. The house opposite me went for 150k last summer but had a brand new kitchen.

I've paid £14k off my debts, I've got an emergency fund (almost 3 months essential outgoings in total, across PBs and pots). I've got a regular saver on the go. I've increased my pension contributions to 12%.

I still have a lot of debt but in many ways I am in a better financial position than I ever have been. Things have changed a lot in the last 19 months.

vampirotoothus

Hi, on your signature your current debt date says 1/6 should that be 1/7?
With regards to the slugs, a new kitchen is not the first thing to invest in, ask your handyman to check your air bricks are clear, I have a feeling they are not.

With regards to blocked drains, new guttering won't help with that, so if they are slow in clearing maybe investigate why that is before you spend money on guttering.

Finally, don't worry so much about the loan, yes it is a bit expensive, BUT it is was to fix your home, so was not spent without thought. Maybe just overpay a little each month and focus on some of the house things that will make you feel at home.

Good luck V x

jwil

There's nothing wrong with letting the debts tick over for a few months while you take some time to do what needs to be done. You have to live as well. As long as you can pay the basics, go for it.

Dakota_Rose

I agree with what the other posters have said. You need to feel that you’re making progress in life as well so small home improvements along the way will be important.

On the slug front, would a net cover be worth considering as a cheap interim measure? You know the pop-up things designed for covering food. One of those may cover your fruit bowl nicely.

Baileys_Babe

As an immediate action, could you store your fruit bowl in the oven or microwave overnight whilst you investigate and deal with where the slugs are entering?

If you can reduce your debt repayments for a time while you deal with other areas of your life, it will give you a better outcome in the end, and as you say, may mean you feel up to having a side hustle to fund extra debt payments in the future