Bank withdrew O/D today from us,with no warning, we are almost penniless!

YorkshireBoy

BallandChain wrote: »

She is only facing up to her debts since the bank closed the overdraft, not because she is disciplined and facing up to it before it got to this.

A trifle unfair, since the OP said (in her first post)...

We are making headway with our debt, finally...and the overdraft was the next thing on the list

However, and with the benefit of hindsight, maybe the "I can't feed the kids" line wasn't the best statement she could have made.

bestpud

bestpud wrote: »

How can you tell who is male/female?

I'm female btw.

Oh, you've deleted that line now - I look like I'm talking to blimming self now!

Dylanwing

oh my dear god, just made my first post on this forum and then decided to browse some of the others - this post has scared me right off!

Please don't think that the Forum is always like this, some of the later posts are totally un-necessary, unhelpful, very judgemental, and just cowardly cyber-bullying. Shame on you, and I hope that if you fall on hard times, people treat you in such a condescending and unsympathetic manner.

OP - If you are still around, please let us know how you got on with Shabbey. I hope that things have gone well for you, and that they are allowing you to pay at a reasonable rate. If not, feel free to re-post, and hopefully you can get some practical advice on how to survive until pay day, and beyond.

jobbingmusician

I do think loads of the posts on this thread are way off the mark, and NOT in the spirit of MSE.

The OP's bank has withdrawn her overdraft suddenly, without warning. She wants advice on how to deal with this. It is totally irrelevant how much debt she is in or how it was accumulated.

If you are in debt, an overdraft is convenient and cheap credit. Far better to use this than a credit card at 26% APR+++. It's easy to forget that the bank is theoretically entitled to claw the money back at any time. If they do it suddenly, surely this forum should be a friendly and helpful place to ask for advice as to what to do? (And shouldn't it be a place where if you make upset comments, like 'taking the food from the children's mouths' you don't get jumped on?)

OP, please do let us know how you're getting on and whether the Abbey are being more reasonable.

Lavendyr

Having followed this thread through I have to agree with Dylanwing and jobbingmusician (though I don't wish hard times on anyone). It is perfectly possible to give sound advice in a kind manner, as MarkyMark and grey_lady demonstrated at the start of the thread. There are some extremely judgemental posts on this thread and it's just completely unnecessary and unhelpful. Does it really matter that the OP is or has been in debt? S/he is trying to work it off and I can imagine how demoralising it must be to have this kind of thing thrown at you when you're trying to solve things. It's a shame, that's all.

needawayout_2

Dylanwing wrote: »

Please don't think that the Forum is always like this, some of the later posts are totally un-necessary, unhelpful, very judgemental, and just cowardly cyber-bullying. Shame on you, and I hope that if you fall on hard times, people treat you in such a condescending and unsympathetic manner.

OP - If you are still around, please let us know how you got on with Shabbey. I hope that things have gone well for you, and that they are allowing you to pay at a reasonable rate. If not, feel free to re-post, and hopefully you can get some practical advice on how to survive until pay day, and beyond.

Hi there, I just wanted to say thankyou to you...and the others who have been very helpful.
I had actually asked for this thread to be deleted as it showed a very nasty side to MSE
I was very wrong to post on this board (i see that now in hindsight, isn't it a wonderful thing :rolleyes: ) and now actually don't think I'll bother with any other board any further. Lurking is much easier

I am not going to post a SOA..as it's NONE of anyones business actually, some of you would LOVE me to do that, purely so you can rip more cyber shreds. Well, sorry, I am not going to give you the satisfaction.
I will continue reading your stories as some of you are amazing and very inspirational actually. Dh and I are learning from our mistakes, in a very difficult manner and will not get in this state ever again.
I will not justify anything to anyone!
We did get sorted out with abbey, ty.They were very helpful, I didn't shout, or cry, neither did myself or my husband "use" our children to gain sympathy :eek: I was ranting a bit on here, I'm sorry but I cannot be perfect like some of you. I am human, you see...and make mistakes sometimes.
Thanks again...cheerio for now

bestpud

Dylanwing wrote: »

Please don't think that the Forum is always like this, some of the later posts are totally un-necessary, unhelpful, very judgemental, and just cowardly cyber-bullying. Shame on you, and I hope that if you fall on hard times, people treat you in such a condescending and unsympathetic manner.

Since I have been one of the last few posters, I'll assume I'm included in that. So to set the record straight, I am not a bully in real life, or cyber life, and I am dealing with my debts. The difference between me and theb OP is I do not feel the need to rant and blame everyone else for my predicament! Sympathy for someone who is in denial and thinks they are justified in blaming the bank for their problems is NOT HELPFUL. Posting constructive advice IS. Unfortunately the OP only wanted the sympathy side of it so it has since been suggested they are long in the wrong place. Don't forget it is a lack of self control that has got the OP in this predicament and they now need to take stock and deal with it - not pass the buck.

OP - If you are still around, please let us know how you got on with Shabbey. I hope that things have gone well for you, and that they are allowing you to pay at a reasonable rate. If not, feel free to re-post, and hopefully you can get some practical advice on how to survive until pay day, and beyond.

THey have had practical advice but seem unable to accept it.

dunstonh

We did get sorted out with abbey, ty.They were very helpful, I didn't shout, or cry, neither did myself or my husband "use" our children to gain sympathy

Pleased to see that the advice given on this thread was taken and that you got it sorted.

Before you vanish, can you confirm if the facility had expired or had been withdrawn? That was the bit which was unknown by you and the rest of us until you got in contact with Abbey.

needawayout_2

It was withdrawn, with no notice/letter/phonecall or anything....
Thats fine, I accept that and we are more than willing to pay what we owe but they NEED to let us know, we are not mindreaders. I am working two jobs, dh works a lot of hours, we are trying our very best to pay what we owe.
I know we are in debt and yes, it's our fault but a lot of it was incurred when the children were very tiny and we were living on very little, we wouldn't claim benefits(silly I know ) so I worked whilst he was studying and earnt slightly less than what we would have recieved on benefits. Not great....and I DO take responsibility for the debt, hence why we are working our !!!!!! off to pay for it! It's our fault, no one elses...
I felt cornered as people were digging up old threads PURELY to have a go at me....sorry about that. It's hard not fight back when someone is being plain nasty, I have sat on my hands all day whilst sorting this mess out.
Bestpud, nope you were not really included in that, you were very helpful actually...hence why I thanked you.

bestpud

Glad you're happier now OP.

I'm in the same boat myself so couldn't judge you even if I wanted to.

No one wants to tear your SOA to shreds but you are right - you do not need to justify yourself to anyone. People only commented on your outgoings because of your comment about it the debt being beyond your control. That tends to be what happens on any forum in my experience.

So I hope you do post again as there is a wealth of info to tap into.

Good luck either way though.