Proposing

Pollycat

Rtj123 said:

Pollycat said:

I didn't know prospective husbands still asked the prospective bride's Father for permission to marry.
I got married over 50 years ago and we just told everyone that we were getting married.

Here's the OP's other thread re choosing a ring:
Engagement rings - Page 3 — MoneySavingExpert Forum

As her family now know, I can't see why you would want to wait a few months.

Because since I met my gf she has always said she’d like her parents asked before proposing. So I have.

Fair enough

Rtj123 said:

Pollycat said:

I didn't know prospective husbands still asked the prospective bride's Father for permission to marry.
I got married over 50 years ago and we just told everyone that we were getting married.

Here's the OP's other thread re choosing a ring:
Engagement rings - Page 3 — MoneySavingExpert Forum

As her family now know, I can't see why you would want to wait a few months.

I don’t know why you see reason to link my other thread? 

Because it was related.
And I thought - after 3 pages of that thread, I thought you might have said which ring you opted for...

Rtj123 said:

Pollycat said:

I didn't know prospective husbands still asked the prospective bride's Father for permission to marry.
I got married over 50 years ago and we just told everyone that we were getting married.

Here's the OP's other thread re choosing a ring:
Engagement rings - Page 3 — MoneySavingExpert Forum

As her family now know, I can't see why you would want to wait a few months.

And to answer your question, in a few months we are planning on being on a weekend away so I am thinking of waiting until then to do it.

But you didn't say that originally.
Waiting makes sense now.
It didn't earlier.

Rtj123

silvercar said:

I’ve seen engagement proposals that have a videographer, photographer all primed, in a staged room covered in candles and rose petals. With the parents and in laws hidden in an adjacent room watching on video screen!

All depends on how elaborate you want it to be.

Not like that. We are so busy at weekends in the next couple of weeks we are visiting family/ friends etc and it doesnt seem to be the right moment to do it with all that going on and we haven’t had a free weekend of just us since I mentioned to her parents a few weeks ago. 

The weekend before valentines we will have a day to ourselves so that might be the perfect opportunity. No videographer or photographer though, just going for a nice walk and doing it then or wait until we have the weekend away to ourselves 

silvercar

If she is a lady that has her nails done regularly, make sure they are good for the photo. There will be a key photo where she shows of the ring and having nice nails will make the photo more special.

Wyndham

Good heavens! So.... I'm assuming you are assuming that she will say yes?

Just ask her. You can do a romantic proposal with all the trimmings if you like, but at the end of the day you are asking her to spend the rest of her life with you, and that's the important bit.

I can't imagine parents being involved before the proposal, but each to their own.

Slinky

Rtj123 said:

silvercar said:

I’ve seen engagement proposals that have a videographer, photographer all primed, in a staged room covered in candles and rose petals. With the parents and in laws hidden in an adjacent room watching on video screen!

All depends on how elaborate you want it to be.

Not like that. We are so busy at weekends in the next couple of weeks we are visiting family/ friends etc and it doesnt seem to be the right moment to do it with all that going on and we haven’t had a free weekend of just us since I mentioned to her parents a few weeks ago. 

The weekend before valentines we will have a day to ourselves so that might be the perfect opportunity. No videographer or photographer though, just going for a nice walk and doing it then or wait until we have the weekend away to ourselves 

But if you do it before all the friends and family visiting, it'll be an opportunity to tell them and show them the ring.

ButterCheese

This is all sounding very over-thought, verging on self-indulgent American stuff that you see on TikTok.  The important part is, as someone else said, you are asking her to make the most important decision of her life, with you.  Concentrate on a good marriage, not all the trimmimgs

Grumpy_chap

Pollycat said:

I didn't know prospective husbands still asked the prospective bride's Father for permission to marry.

I asked my now FiL, and the now husband's of my two Niece's both asked my Brother.  I think it must be more of a thing than some imagine.

As for the OP, I think the best thing is to find a nice location and opportunity ahead of the planned holiday in a few months (if you delay having asked the parents, they might wonder what's up) and not Valentine's Day or anything cliched like that - it is quite likely that your future betrothed will be half expecting a proposal, so a surprise proposal away from any of the "calendar" dates this weekend or next will probably be more romantic really.

It even has the added benefit, if she says "yes", that you can do something rather more celebratory on Valentine's Day and reaffirm how pleased you are that she's the one .  (If she says "no", you can still get your tinder profile up and fix up a replacement Valentine  )

silvercar

DS2 phoned his future FiL to ask permission. FiL was driving at the time, he was so shocked he nearly crashed his car.

Pollycat

Grumpy_chap said:

Pollycat said:

I didn't know prospective husbands still asked the prospective bride's Father for permission to marry.

I asked my now FiL, and the now husband's of my two Niece's both asked my Brother.  I think it must be more of a thing than some imagine.

Who knew?
I didn't.
It just sounded like something out of pride and prejudice.

elsien

What do you then do if they say no? 🤔