Engagement rings

Rtj123

I’m wanting to propose to my girlfriend. I’ve been looking at rings, I know the style she likes and her ring size. However, I’m currently hampered by the lack of money I have to spend on a ring.

The one I know she likes is a ‘lab grown diamond’ which is a little over my budget right now. However, I have seen one which looks identical but it is ‘cubic zirconia’ so not a diamond. I can afford that one BUT should I buy it? Would I be seen as a cheap skate by not buying a diamond ring? To me, side by side, they look both the same, but obviously it isn’t a diamond.

I know the ring shouldnt matter, but it does to me ! 

New_in_the_fens

What do you think she would want? I wanted to choose my ring with my husband, so personally, wouldn’t want to be presented with a ring (maybe one of those Haribo jelly ones as that suits my sense of humour!)

My engagement ring wasn’t really expensive - it reflected our finances at the time and is still going strong over 25 years later. Maybe she’d rather you spent an amount that worked within your budget? 

Maybe she’d be happy with a ‘hold’ ring until you can afford the one you (both) like. 

Maybe, it’s important to her she gets the expensive ring in the right way.

Good luck on whatever you choose! 

Brie

The diamond cartel used to suggest you (it was always men at the time) should spend 3 - 6 months salary on an appropriate ring.  Well of course they would say that as they were in the business of selling diamonds.  

And frankly if she doesn't want to get engaged until you can fork out a lot of money well, I might suggest there may be some character flaws you might need to consider.  

So depending on her look on life what are your alternatives? 

• Spend as much as possible on something that is nearly but not quite right possibly putting yourself into debt (waste of money to me but hey, I'm not a money spender)
• Buy something you can neatly afford within your current budget considering it's an expensive time of year.  (a better option but will there be bargains in the new year?) 
• Buy something very inexpensive, fun, maybe completely ludicrous with the hope and promise of something really nice in the actual wedding ring department.  (so giving you time to save which is really MSE)

In the last category - I've seen engagements with £10 costume jewelry rings, bits of engineering stuff (ring nuts??) and in one movie I loved from years back he proposed with a paper cigar ring.  (which when they were really rich he had copied with diamonds and rubies - ah love!)

Or steal your grandma's ring?  

fyi - my ring was a second hand (some might say vintage) band with tiddly sapphires which was lovely.  Ten years later my hands got puffy and I haven't been able to wear it since.  By year 25 neither of us could comfortably wear our wedding rings so we got new ones - gold was much too expensive so we found someone who did their own design by in silver.  Marvellous!!  And a fraction the price.  

teaselMay

with the proviso that I'm single and not a jewellery kind of woman:

I'd propose when that feels right, with some sort of token ring that fits your relationship, hula hoop, ring pull, a knotted ring made of paracord would suit me. And then as a couple decide whether she'd like a proper ring and choose it together withing whatever budget you have, I'd not break the bank over it and not want a partner to either. But that is just me, I'd be happy with the paracord!

Pollycat

What does she think is important?
A ring that she likes but that you can't afford right now? 
Or the commitment of asking her to be your wife? 

Rtj123

Thanks all. She’s not the type to want the most expensive biggest diamond ring. I just want to get the best I can afford. I know she likes this type. I’ve found a real diamond one which looks the same (to me) but this one is within my budget... https://www.ernestjones.co.uk/9ct-white-gold-55mm-cubic-zirconia-solitaire-ring/p/V-9518796 

and this is the real diamond version https://www.warrenjames.co.uk/jewellery/9ct-white-gold-real-diamond-lab-grown-solitaire-50ct-9lrw010

can you tell much difference?

Pollycat

Please talk to your girlfriend. 
Don't get the 'best you can afford'.
It's impossible to tell the difference just looking at websites. 
I've had my .75 carat diamond ring for almost 40 years and still love it.
That's what your girlfriend should feel.

pinkdon

Personally I feel a proposal without the ring would work, at least that’s how I was proposed to! Or a cheap/sweetie ring? apparently I’m picky so went into town the next day to decide together, his thinking was it would be in my finger the next 50 or so years and I appreciated that he’d thought of that.  Again he tried rings well out of my price range - I just wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing that day to day so we settled.  Engagement rings are a great gauge of how you guys will join your finances, pay attention and don’t get yourself into debt! Wishing you guys all the best.

Rtj123

pinkdon said:

Personally I feel a proposal without the ring would work, at least that’s how I was proposed to! Or a cheap/sweetie ring? apparently I’m picky so went into town the next day to decide together, his thinking was it would be in my finger the next 50 or so years and I appreciated that he’d thought of that.  Again he tried rings well out of my price range - I just wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing that day to day so we settled.  Engagement rings are a great gauge of how you guys will join your finances, pay attention and don’t get yourself into debt! Wishing you guys all the best.

Thanks. I know what she likes, we’ve done the window shopping thing. The link above shows what she likes, or a similar style. I want to have a ring ready because I am taking her back to the place we first met. And I want to propose there. 

Emmia

Rtj123 said:

pinkdon said:

Personally I feel a proposal without the ring would work, at least that’s how I was proposed to! Or a cheap/sweetie ring? apparently I’m picky so went into town the next day to decide together, his thinking was it would be in my finger the next 50 or so years and I appreciated that he’d thought of that.  Again he tried rings well out of my price range - I just wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing that day to day so we settled.  Engagement rings are a great gauge of how you guys will join your finances, pay attention and don’t get yourself into debt! Wishing you guys all the best.

Thanks. I know what she likes, we’ve done the window shopping thing. The link above shows what she likes, or a similar style. I want to have a ring ready because I am taking her back to the place we first met. And I want to propose there. 

Unfortunately I think you can tell the difference between CZ and a diamond - but if CZ is what you can afford, then go with that.

New_in_the_fens

I thought the price difference was a lot higher than the two rings you’ve shown (£100 compared to £1000). If you are sure of the ring, I’d personally go for the diamond, on the proviso that the clasp and setting looks robust. 

It will stick out from her finger and in my experience, these get caught on stuff, particularly in the early days when you aren’t used to having something sticking out from your hand! The last thing you want is to lose it.