Proposing

strawb_shortcake

Pollycat said:

Grumpy_chap said:

Pollycat said:

I didn't know prospective husbands still asked the prospective bride's Father for permission to marry.

I asked my now FiL, and the now husband's of my two Niece's both asked my Brother.  I think it must be more of a thing than some imagine.

Who knew?
I didn't.
It just sounded like something out of pride and prejudice.

My OH asked my Dad 20 something years ago. He has suggested to our Daughter he'd like any future boyfriend to speak to him first too - purely in the name.of tradition. I don't think for a minute he'd say no.
Can't say I really see the point, but at least she knows and they can work it out between themselves as and when the time comes

Savvy_Sue

silvercar said:

I’ve seen engagement proposals that have a videographer, photographer all primed, in a staged room covered in candles and rose petals. With the parents and in laws hidden in an adjacent room watching on video screen!

All depends on how elaborate you want it to be.

Nightmare if she says no ... 

After a very busy week, we went down the pub (also very busy) for a discussion of when, how, who etc. Finally he said "well I suppose I'd better ask, will you marry me?" He did not go down on one knee: not that sort of setting.

We went back to an overcrowded house (oh the joys of shared living!) and everyone had worked out what we were doing so they immediately demanded if I'd said yes!

Wyndham

Pollycat said:

Grumpy_chap said:

Pollycat said:

I didn't know prospective husbands still asked the prospective bride's Father for permission to marry.

I asked my now FiL, and the now husband's of my two Niece's both asked my Brother.  I think it must be more of a thing than some imagine.

Who knew?
I didn't.
It just sounded like something out of pride and prejudice.

Even in Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth and Jane were asked by Darcy and Bingley (respectively) before Mr Bingley was asked. I'd always assumed that if you were going to do it this way, you asked the lady first, then asked the father.

All rather patriarcal, of course! Women can ask men to marry them, and I'm sure mothers can also give permission if they wish....

BungalowBel

We have been married 53 years. My husband asked my dad's permission.  However, we'd still have done it if he'd said no!

My son's girlfriend proposed to him last year and he accepted.  She didn't ask our permission, but they have lived together for seventeen years .

To the OP - do it sooner rather than later.  

otb666

I asked my hubby 34 years ago after a few months of dating and he said yes.  Was not very romantic but worked for us. I just asked mid morning at home and did not feel it was such a big deal as it felt right. Never did get an engagement ring though. I would not change it and always think a lot of people overthink and make a big to do about it. When it feels right it feels right. 

sillyvixen

My hubby asked my dad for my hand in marriage. we took over their caravan for the week as mum had medical appointments and they were booked in for 6 weeks on a beach side pitch, they didn't want the pitch going to waste. My dad was showing my pre hubby how to empty the chemical toilet casset at the time (how romantic) I had already said I knew how to do it. Dad agreed and told mum once they were out of sight. 

Hubby proposed on the beach at sunset we took a bottle of wine, it got cold and I wanted to go back to the caravan, he wanted to see the sun go down! Suddenly he was on the sand in front of me (I thought he had fallen of his deck chair) and before I knew it he produced a ring from his pocket. I was not expecting it, but once my brain processed what was going on I said yes. People in our row on the beach camping slots had become aware and had left their barbecue or food to watch and started clapping when I said yes. All very romantic - untill my intendeneed hugged me and whispered in my ear ... ' I may be marrying you, but we will not be using the caravan toilet, I am not emptying it - it's the toilet block for us!'. 

And they say romance is dead.

No regrets though!

sheramber

My father had made it known earlier that he did not think it was necessary to ask him so don ‘t.
 

My husband proposed to me when I was pillion passenger on his motor bike doing 100 mph along an empty dual carriageway.   No 70 speed limit in these days. 

My cousin wrote a poem about it and read it out at our engagement meal. 

Grumpy_chap

elsien said:

What do you then do if they say no? 🤔

Tell him that he's a very rude man:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk

The bigger worry might well be if the Father is too keen to offload his Daughter

Savvy_Sue

sheramber said:

My husband proposed to me when I was pillion passenger on his motor bike doing 100 mph along an empty dual carriageway.   No 70 speed limit in these days. 

My cousin wrote a poem about it and read it out at our engagement meal. 

Surprised you could hear him!

sheramber

Savvy_Sue said:

sheramber said:

My husband proposed to me when I was pillion passenger on his motor bike doing 100 mph along an empty dual carriageway.   No 70 speed limit in these days. 

My cousin wrote a poem about it and read it out at our engagement meal. 

Surprised you could hear him!

The basis of the poem was that I misheard him and agreed to something else.