Spendy Wendy to Saver Savvy

rachmac3

It sounds like you're in a really tough spot right now.
Please don't feel you can only post if it's positive. Rant/vent all you like, it's your diary.
Enjoy the break if you need it though. Hopefully hear from you soon.

jwil

Sorry things are tough and it is very difficult when others aren't on board.  I agree with rachmac3, sometimes it's helpful to have a place where you can vent (I certainly use my diary for that a lot!).  But hopefully we'll see you again soon.

foxgloves

Oh, that's a shame. @Spendywendywoo. It sounds as though there might be a lack of teamwork & perhaps somebody liking the idea of debt-free but maybe not linking the hard work that needs to happen to their own practical involvement? It is hard work running the debt-free gig alone. Thankfully, Mr F did get on board when he saw the progress I was making with paying off my own debts & after a while, he wanted in on the action & we worked as a team. It did take a while though. All the right noises were being made, he absolutely understood what had triggered my LBM after decades of overspending, but it took a while (during which I remember a horrible upsetting argument) because his dfw words were not always matched by actions. For eg....we'd set & agree the budget including the various spending categories & he'd be absolutely on board, then throughout the week, the postman would be delivering online purchases. I'd say, "Which bit of the budget are these coming from?" & he'd reply, "Oh, don't worry, these won't mess up the budget, they're on my credit card". Aaaaghh! Cue me then needing to explain how "credit card" isn't a budget heading & this is exactly the sort of thing which had got us into (at its worst), £35k of debt! Of course, setting up Personal Spends sorted this, but at the time I found it pretty soul-destroying. 
It does take quite a lot of effort to become debt-free because such a high proportion of it relies on planning, keeping financial records, time, discussion & evaluation. Sorry to hear you feel you are not getting the support that you need for it to work as a joint enterprise. Oh, & I don't expect you'll read this if you're taking a break, but wanted to post for solidarity.
F x

Suffolk_lass

Don't stop @Spendywendywoo! Lots of support is forthcoming, with tips and help is and when we all struggle, from time to time. It happens to all of us. As @foxgloves sets out, the journey (delivery plan) following the setting out of the strategy is never a straight line from A to B - as a project manager, I know it is frustrating but was always this way. Please carry on posting. Your journey, however imperfect, will help to inspire others too Sl X

Spendywendywoo

Thank you @rachmac3, @jwil, @foxgloves, @Suffolk_lass, your comments are appreciated.

This last month has been tough, I can’t lie. I’ve been quite unwell physically and run down mentally with quite a lot going on. The budget is always on my mind but I’ve had to just roll with it. 

Now I’m feeling a bit better I’ve had an honest conversation with DH that some of the cause is money (when isn’t it?) and whilst we are in a better position than most, we could definitely be in a fantastic position (with a reminder that our situation can change at any point and who knows how we would cope if we didn’t have wages etc) if we put our minds to it. I haven’t recorded our spends like I normally do as my personal laptop has broken and I don’t want to use my work laptop for something so personal so I will have to revert to a pen and paper system. I half decided not to do it so I could concentrate on feeling better and half to prove a point. 

Today I have calculated our spends for the month with payday being at the end of the week. I'm truly astonished at how much we have spent and especially shocked with what we have spent money on. DH is well and truly on board now he realises that the overspend this month could have paid for a mini break for us both, all inclusive to somewhere sunny and relaxing!! 

Total spends in some of categories;
Groceries : £1,036.04 (what the heck??!)
Clothes: £180.08 (some of this is for our holiday as DS has outgrown most of his clothes, trainers, swimwear etc)
Entertainment: £88.43 
Childcare: £85 (payment for summer camp)
Amazon: £141.63
Paint and outdoor chairs: £89

So to summarise this month, it’s been shocking!! Absolutely eye watering amounts with nothing to show. The groceries have been calculated based on where we spend money but there will also be some lottery tickets, gifts, cards and other items which I would normally allocate to separate budgets but have been unable to this month as I haven’t reviewed receipts like I would normally. Food shopping is very likely to be £700/800 though in all honesty. 

The overspend this month has been taken from the annual expenditure pot (from mine and DHs break away fund!), once we get paid I can begin building that up again - all other savings and pots have been untouched. 

_________________________________

The line has been drawn. 

Other than haircuts tomorrow for DH and DS, there will be no spending until payday. 

I’m off to do a refreshed May budget in my notebook. 

Feels good to be back and refreshed 

Take care, 
Wendy x

rachmac3

I'm glad you're back, and so glad you're feeling better x

Spendywendywoo

The budget has been reset and the negative amount in the budget was not as bad as I expected, just shy of £200. 

I’ve managed to put £100 over my desired saving amount away as we are away for half term week, this has been taken from the grocery budget. I’ve reviewed all our current plans for the month and budgeted accordingly. I’ve also added in a little contingency, as there is always an additional friendly football match that may have parking or petrol costs, or something that crops up at DH work. I’m hoping this little contingency amount isn’t needed and if it is isn’t then it will be added to the annual expend pot as savings (all 2025 known expenditures such as insurances are already saved and accounted for). If it’s needed then at least it’s covered whatever it’s needed for, and I don’t need to stress or worry. 

In other activities, I’ve already been out to walk the dog, and after work I need to pick up dog meds (free as covered in the monthly plan we pay for), some milk and bits for tea tonight and tomorrow- not decided what yet but I will know and have a list before I walk to the shop. Loving this weather, makes such a difference to the day. 

I hope everyone is having a lovely day ☀️ 
Wendy x

jwil

Welcome back!  Good to 'see' you again   It's good to draw a line and get back on track.  Hopefully having DH on board will help make it all a bit easier.

Spendywendywoo

Monday morning already! 

Budget has been updated and this weekend was calm in terms of spending, we had a BBQ and also watched the football so feeling relaxed today. 

I cleaned and tidied but didn’t do any washing this weekend so the first lot of washing has been washed and is ready for the washing line, second lot is sat waiting to be washed…dishwasher is currently running its cycle. We are going away in the next couple of weeks for half term so need to sort through what we will be taking with us. 

Just been looking and have seen that the interest rates have dropped. Our mortgage fixed rate ends next year so need to keep an eye on this. The account I have moved out annual expenditure and car balloon payment savings into accrued almost £6 last month… I’ve been given money for being organised, that feels good.  I’ve got a credit union account which I started at my last place of work and have noticed that no interest or dividends have been paid into this for some time.  I need to look into this but if I’m not longer getting anything for having my money in there then I will withdraw and pop into a savings account that will attract interest. 

Right, time for work… 

Have a great week!
Wendy x