Teetering on the brink

badmemory

No it does not.  You would have been just as relieved if he had moved a couple of hundred miles away.  I suspect there are a few local people who will be relieved not to have to keep looking over their shoulders.

NeverendingDMP

EatingBeans said:

Sitting here drinking my coffee before the mad dash to the tip. 

I reconciled my accounts (as I do every morning), do a quick survey, and then scroll through Facebook where I see lots of posts about a local 15yr old that died. The videos of the memorial look a bit off (lots of youths gathered, not looking sombre, but instead setting off fireworks in the middle of the street, in broad daylight next to OAP homes). So I look a bit further and discover the boy who died is in fact the same boy who attacked my daughter and her bf this time last year and is known to have done this repeatedly to people for years. It is difficult to know how to feel about his death. On one had he was just 15 and I do wonder what he must have gone through in life to take up beating on random strangers as a hobby, but on the other hand I am relieved that the vicious attacks that have haunted my town might actually stop.🤞 I do wish he didn’t have to die for that to happen but I honestly feel a bit safer knowing he is no longer roaming around. Does that make me a bad person? 😕

No it just makes you honest. It's ok to breathe a sigh of relief 

dawnybabes

Ditto, no it doesn’t make you a bad person. 

EatingBeans

Thanks, all. You are absolutely right, I would have been just as happy if he just left town. The relief on dd1’s face knowing she is not going to bump into him again is plain to see. I mean, the others that were part of the attack are still about but it was this lad in particular that led them. It’s odd to think that had it not happened she would be off to uni in just a few weeks time but instead she now has to wait another year. Maybe having the year to relax again might mean she is more inclined to come back to the town to visit later down the line. Fingers crossed anyway. What got to me the most was not only was he well known by the police for doing this to people but that they did absolutely nothing to stop or punish him for it. It was just brushed off ‘here we go again’, despite the fact that they also knew he stole a kids bike and vodka from a local shop all in the same day. They did absolutely nothing as if it was a waste of their time because they knew it wouldn’t stop him. dd1’s bf’s dad was so unhappy about the response he actually joined the police force to try and change things from within! Crazy. 

Anyway, in more positive news, we successfully dumped a whole load of stuff at the tip! 🎉 I focused on things we’ve had lurking for a while that we could never fit in the 107. The guy did come and look to check we were a car but he didn’t say anything - he just gave a disapproving look instead. I am not sure how many times I’ll get away with before someone stops me but this time at least, I managed to get rid of a few of the very large (now damaged) plant pots, a dismantled guinea pig cage, the old toilet and sink, some large cardboard boxes and a large painting back from when I was married. I only learnt yesterday that the painting used to regularly give dd2 nightmares when she was younger, as in the dark it apparently looks like an eye (it was actually a large flower). I hated the thing because it reminded me of my ex but knowing that I gave dd2 the pleasure of throwing it in the tip - another bit of baggage gone out of our life! 😁 Sadder for me was throwing away our tent. I’ve got many great memories of me, dd2 and the pups camping in it, but it really was beyond repair. I have my eye on a new one which is currently half price but it is still £250 so it will have to wait. I am hoping that by saving up and buying out of season we can get a bargain. Even once the van is converted it will really only sleep me and the dogs. I might be able to squeeze a second sleeping spot in it but I think it will be pushing it. Probably still better to take a tent if dd2 comes but that wont be until next year now. Got to focus on paying the debt down first. 🙂

EatingBeans

Another good job done! I finally got around to dismantling the last arch I put up in the garden and repurposing its parts to fix the arch in the tunnel that little dog broke many weeks ago. It’s a job I can’t do with dogs in the garden with me and I am glad I didn’t try because it turned into much more of a challenge than I first anticipated. Trying to replace the broken parts whilst a heavy climber is still attached is much harder than putting one up in the first place and I felt like I needed 5 pairs of hands so I could support the climber and unscrew the rusty metal at the same time. But, despite the 25 degree heat (a silly temperature to be trying to do such a job in), I did finally manage. Hopefully ‘little dog’ will avoid colliding with the support again - at least for a little while! It was a good job done and means the climber will live another day which is very much a relief given the recent garden losses. 

I keep watering the crispy plants in the pots in the vague hope that new life will spring up, and in a few cases it looks like I might just be able to save them. 🙂 dd2’s apple tree is really not looking good though. It’s dropped all but two apples and a significant proportion of its leaves are completely curled up and brown. I am debating taking some of the lower (most dead looking) branches off to limit the amount of foliage it needs to support but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea with an apple tree. I might give it a few more days and see how it looks.

InDebtEnby

In terms of tents, you can get some good ones for less than £100 and if it's just an extra sleeping space when the van is converted, would a pup tent for around £30 work. Decathlon also do pre-loved tents so could be worth a look. FB also have some bargains on minimally used tents.

EatingBeans

dd2 is a little picky when it comes to tents. She insists on something she can stand up in and realistically a 5man tent is about as small as we can go given the very large labradors I have. I expect that when dd2 comes with me we will do full tent camping on a campsite - I very much doubt she would be ok with sleeping alone. Yes, I know it is a want not a need, but if it is the difference between dd2 still enjoying it enough to want to come with me and not, then I am willing to save and pay the difference. I will check out decathlon though as I didn’t know they did preloved tents. Thanks! 

EatingBeans

Balance transfer finally done to the new credit card - I had to wait to activate the card before I could do it. It’s not a lot in the scheme of things but since I am currently paying over £400pm in interest every little helps! The more I can pay down, the more I can get things back onto 0% offers, the more I can pay off. 

Willow1403

Hello,

Just wanted to say that I've read your diary right from the beginning and it inspired me to start my own. 

I've really enjoyed reading your journey, with all it's ups and downs.

Wanted you to know that I'm rooting for you

EatingBeans

Thanks for posting @Willow1403 and welcome to my crazy journey of life as I try to pay down my mountain of debt! 😁 

I look forward to following along on your diary too. We’ve got this!