Teetering on the brink

EatingBeans

Well, I made it through my first day at my new job yesterday! The travelling was brutal bit I did it. I left at midday on Sunday and finally arrived at the bnb at 8pm. I think I spent more time laying down at service stations than I did driving but I managed to arrive feeling ok which was the main objective. Taking the microwave and frozen meals was an absolute game-changer. The difference to how I felt having a proper meal rather than service station food was huge.

After an ok night sleep at the bnb on the biggest bed I have slept in for years, I skipped the full english breakfast available at the bnb and popped to Morrisons for a banana, fat free yogurt and an oaty breakfast bar. No way would I ever have done that in the past but it is amazing how much brutal pain can change your behaviour! 🤣

The actual first day went really well. Iconically the only time I was really hurting with the gall bladder pain was when we were going through the sickness policy and he was explaining that if I am ever ill that I am not expected to work even from home. I smiled to myself and thought if only you knew! 😬 I have my endoscope appointment in two weeks time but I thought I’d at least get through my first day before I drop that bomb shell. 😞

The drive home was just mental. I left work at 3:30pm and got home at 10:30pm. 🤦‍♀️ I actually only stopped for an hour on the way back so the rest of the time was genuinely driving, or at least trying to! Between road closures and accidents it was a very hard slog but the ability to lay down and eat another healthy microwaveable meal made it all possible. I even took a couple of ice lollies with me that helped cool me down too. I dread to think how much I would have spent in the service stations if I haven’t got the fridge freezer, microwave and power station with me. I genuinely don’t think I would be able to do the journey without it so money well spent.

The whole experience has taught me that the best approach with the van going forward is to just try and make at least one tiny improvement between each of my trips and to focus my energy on what is likely to improve my journey the most next time. Hopefully that way it wont seem totally overwhelming.

And yes, despite the insane journey times, I am going to keep the job! The job sounds interesting, the people seem nice, and amazingly I am not the person that lives the furthest away! Apparently there is one team member that lives in Scotland! 😱 The good news for me is that as they have others that come long distance too their approach is very much wfh unless actually needed in the office. For some weeks that might mean I have to be onsite for two days back-to-back (for quarterly planning), then there will be other weeks where I wont need to go in at all. They are very much of the mindset that as many in person things are grouped together as much as possible to limit everyone’s need to travel - can’t really ask for anything better than that given the job I do.

So, time to get up and start work again! It is going to take a little while to get used to working every day again but thankfully, so long as I take my many handfuls of pills, stretch out on the bed every now and again and eat my expensive but healthy meals, I think I am going to manage. 🤞

Cherryfudge

That's amazing! Those travel times must be hard to take, but it sounds as though your planning has paid off. I think the ice creams are a bit of genius.

Got to dash but I hope today goes well x

Afdaff

Congratulations on day 1 and for working out ways to make this as easy as possible on yourself.

EatingBeans

How was day 2, sitting at my desk wfh, sooo much harder than day 1?!!! I had to have three coffees, two impromtu 10minute lay downs (as well as lunch), then as soon as 5o’clock came I flopped on my bed, instantly feel asleep and slept for two hours! 😬 It has been a long time since I started a new job so I had forgotten how exhausting the process was. Hopefully I will get used to it pretty quickly!

I’d love to say I am gallbladder pain free but I would be lying. I am still taking handfuls of pills everyday, including Tramadol which is no doubt going to make coming off it a painful process of itself, but needs must. It just about controls the pain and that’s all I care about until I’ve at least had a chance to make a good first impression.

Hopefully if I just have a bit of dinner then take myself off to bed for an early night I might be in a better shape to make that good impression tomorrow. I need to get to the stage where I can start telling them about stuff fairly sharpish otherwise it will look super bad. Oh the fine line I am currently walking!

But, the important thing is I am at least now earning money again rather than haemorrhaging it about of my bank account! In all honesty it is still a bit of a nightmare because buy paying off so much debt, the actual cash in my bank has dwindled faster than I expected and I should just about have enough for all the bills this month, next month would have been a major stress without any wages coming in.

The good news is I am starting to see good offers on 0% deals for both a new credit card and at least one of my existing cards. So, with a bit of swopping around I should be able to cut the interest I am paying and the whole gamble of taking using the Voluntary Leavers scheme to avoid a DMP might have actually paid off! 😱 Still a long way to go on the debt obviously, but once I start getting a regular wage and I have done some credit balance shuffling I will finally get a sense of how much debt I still need to tackle.

Still waiting to hear if dd2 got the job she interviewed for last week (where dd1 works), and obviously A level results day is nearly upon us, so all go in this house. I genuinely don’t know what will happen if dd1 doesn’t get into Nottingham uni. She may actually have a breakdown. 😕

Oh, and I don’t know if I told you all about the big blue van that has taken to parking outside my house and the long winded essay I wrote to the owner the other day. But, he did in fact leave space for me last night! I don’t know if it was by choice or someone else was in the spot when he parked but they subsequently left before I got back or whatever, but when I got home he was actually parked on the double yellow lines at the end of the row and there was space for me to park. I mean he clearly has to be desperate not to park around the corner for some reason because he would rather risk a ticket than go and park there (where it is legal), so I am choosing to think the best of him and assume he has a genuine need to park in our row rather than just being on a mission to annoy me. 🤣 Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a drive!

Cherryfudge

I expect the day 2 tiredness was partly day 1's - you had a massive amount to be tired for on day 1! But you've done two days, well done you. 😊