Teetering on the brink

EatingBeans

I’m taking a break from walking today. I felt like I needed to take a reat and stay in the warm because I forgot to take my tablets this morning and my face has started to hurt. 😞

I have instead spent the day spending money 😬. I bought myself a pair of leggings on Vinted using money I had got from selling old clothes - I have lots of clothes but nothing fits so I have decided any money I make from selling on Vinted I can also use to buy via Vinted. And I have put in a offer to buy a bundle of craft supplies that would mean I can finally start towards my craft business idea. My bid is very cheeky (but still a lot of money), but 90% of it is things I had already identified that I would need so it really is a massive bargain if I can get it. New job or not I still want to go ahead with the business because either way so taking the plunge now whilst I have the time to do it feels like a good idea even if it does mean temporarily adding more to the debt in advance of the payout.

ellenvan

Now that you know you are definitely getting the payout, it makes sense to invest a little in your future. Whilst you have time it will pay dividends in the future.

Cherryfudge

I hope your bid is accepted!

EatingBeans

Oh I do love having a wonderful line manager - he will be missed! After starting back to work two days a week but still without a defined agreement about what I will be paid and which days I should actually work, my line manager first actually listened to my questions, then asked me to leave it with him. Not only has he managed to get a definite agreement that they are prepared to put in writing but he has also managed to get me a better deal than any of the four options I thought might be on the cards! Instead of working two days a week until the 31st May, I now only work until 7th May plus I get an extra two weeks pay in my final pay packet in lieu of annual leave! The joy of having a manager who fights for you. 😁

liselle

He sounds amazing!

Well I’m a Voluntary Worker and our Line Manager is just the opposite.We never feel that she’s on our side.Not helped by the fact that we’ve all been there for several years and work well as a team, whereas she’s new and knows little or nothing about the business ……

Cherryfudge

What a wonderful person! And so good that you don't have that extra three weeks to work.

EatingBeans

Today is an exciting day!

If all goes well I should finally get my van back, fully road worthy and all ready to start my super low cost conversion to a camper. 😁 This is not going to be anything like those shiny conversions that are so popular on youtube, instead it is going to be taking stuff I already have, throwing it in the back and learning from experience what the absolute essentials are that I am missing! 🤣 Thankfully I am starting with an almost full tank of diesel (which amazingly I filled up before the recent price rises), and my plan is to start with local stop overs because if for any reason I have to bail then I can just drive home any time day or night. There are a few basics that I already know I will need to start - some insulation for the roof as there is no headliner and the condensation already gets so bad in there that it drips from the roof (I can’t imagine being effectively rained on is good for sleeping!). I already have window vents - I just need to fit them to help airflow for the same reason. Then I just need a few sheets of plywood to build a base for the dog cage to sit on over the wheel well to give me enough room to lie down beside it. I know the majority of people who convert their vans to campers just let their dogs loose in the back and secure them with a harness for travel but this is one thing I am not willing to compromise on. I have tried both dogs secured by harness vs in a crate in the back of the van and it is very very obvious that they are far happier (and safer), in a crate. Plus, they are big labs who love mud, sand and water so I am keen to have a dedicated space to put them in so that after a walk I can wash them off outside if necessary and keep them somehow contained in the van while they dry. The endless sea of hair is already bad enough - thank god I already have a good car vac! Then the only other thing I need to buy is some blackout fabric and contact adhesive to make some window covers and a curtain to separate the back from the cab. I can’t wait!

In our house the girl’s each have a little exercise book that they used to capture all their memories of what we called ‘the best summer ever!’. Basically it was a time around 8 years ago when I last had a long, job-free summer (I was a uni student at the time), and I decided to spend the time making as many memories I could with the kids. It truly was epic. Being a student meant I had to get very creative with how to do that on a very tiny budget, so between me and the kids we brainstormed lots of free stuff we could do together and pinned all the ideas to our kitchen wall, then took turns to choose what we did. It was things like, watch a sunset, dance in the rain, play poo-sticks with sticks over a bridge etc. All little things, but just me and the kids. I through in some educational things and insisted on them keeping a diary, (to endure they kept up with their writing skills and learnt a few things along the way), and now those very exercise books are much treasured memory books.

Life took a turn after ‘the best summer ever’ (the 6year long divorce didn’t help), and it is only really now that life is finally back at a place where we can all properly enjoy life again. So, since this is our last summer before dd1 leaves for uni, dd2 suggested we try and do a similar ‘last summer ever’ thing this year. Hence my excitement over the van. It is all very well having a car with four seats but the 107 just is not big enough for three adults and two labradors, so the plan is I get a new tent and we go and explore together! When we are all able to go somewhere together we will take both cars, if just the girls want to go somewhere they can take the car, and if dd1 is working I can take dd2 in the van. The biggest cost is likely fuel but having two cars also means we can be extra flexible if not everyone wants to do everything. Having the van means we can take way more stuff with us and be more comfortable/take more things to keep everyone entertained.

I am so blessed to have two teenagers that still want to hang out with their parent let alone to actively still want to hang out doing low cost stuff like helping me with the garden, going for walks and camping! dd2 is even going to get a new little exercise book to keep photos and a little diary of what we get up to and has decided to title it ‘the best summer ever, the sequel!’ bless her!

To me, getting the van back is day 1 of this ‘summer’ even though it is still April! Fingers crossed I get the call soon! 🤞

EatingBeans

Well the van is back! 🎉 It took rather longer than expected and cost almost £700, but it is finally legal! 😁 The absolute minimum amount of insulation, blackout line and contact adhesive has now been ordered, along with a face mask and safety goggles as I thought it was about time I stopped just winging it. 😬 The reality is dd2 wants to help me and there is no way I am letting her near the spray, or indeed cutting the wood, without at least basic PPE. I would just never forgive myself if something happened for the sake of £20! I mean, you’d think I would have learnt and bought myself PPE after cleaning out a chicken coop years ago without the right PPE and it genuinely nearly killing me (I got dust in my lungs which turned to pneumonia, which turned in sepsis - very bad news), but no, apparently I still only justify the purchase when one of my kids wants to help! 🤦‍♀️

So, whilst I wait for that stuff to arrive, today is going to be a day of getting back on top of the house, taking something I sold on Vinted to the Post Office/picking up the leggings that I bought with the last sale proceeds, and then maybe having another look at the new budget spreadsheet. As it stands, I still haven’t restarted my daily budget check ins, but honestly, either way it is still a case of juggle like mad until I finally get clarity of what I will have going forward. No amount of me staring at a spreadsheet will change the outcome at the moment so I am just trying to be conscious about what I am spending, focus on bringing in as much cash as I can, and then taking the time to be their for the kids. Both have exams coming up over the next couple of months so trying to take the stress load off them at this time is a priority. For instance, dd1 was having a complete meltdown over not having enough money yesterday because her workplace is currently reducing peoples shifts, so I said I will pay for her petrol and food for the next couple of months. Yes, we did work out that it is probably going to cost me about £1000 to cover the money she is going to be short, but in the grand scheme of things I would rather she focused on her exams and I’ll add it to my stress pile for later. I recognise that a lot of my debt has piled this way but these exams have the real potential to shape her future so I feel it is a price worth paying. September will come before we know it and then she will be gone. 😭

I did at least apply for another job yesterday. Currently I am only aiming at well paid, very relevant jobs that I can’t really pass up (despite really wanting to spend summer with the girl’s), but as time goes on I will stop being so picky.

I didn’t win the craft supplies so the new business venture is still a bit paused for now, but I feel I am making progress in other ways so I’m ok about that. There is only so much I can do in a day anyway so I don’t feel like I have lost out too much. I will just keep an eye out for another good deal on the things I know I will need.

Being flexible and not stressing is my new motto it seems. The reality is I may be still ‘teetering on the brink’ debt wise but I am in fact still here and teetering and I feel that deserves celebrating! I have, beyond any plan imaginable when I started this diary, still managed to pay everything on time, and no financial catastrophe has yet happened, so I am going to just believe it is going to be ok until I know more.

In the meantime, I am going to crack on, enjoy my time not working, and celebrate feeling well for a change. 😁

daisy_1571

Omg woman! Every single item of ppe for you protects your daughters! Where would they be now if you had pegged out after the chicken coop incident? They still need you so protect yourself!!!

Said with love 😆

Dxx

EatingBeans

You are so right @daisy_1571 I really should take more care! I did get very worried after the chicken coop incident about what might happen to the kids, especially as it happened the same year as my motorway accident (it began to feel like something out of Final Destination 😬), but with time it is easy to get complacent. I suppose that means I should shell out a bit more cash and get another set if the two of us are going to work together. 😁