Teetering on the brink

Tiggermad

So sorry to read about losing your piggie. I felt the same when we lost our guinea pig, Ginger. They are such joyful pets and I still think about him and his brother and the noises they made whenever I opened the fridge (they were indoor guineas)!

1stTimer

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, I have been devastated losing all my pets (even cried when my fish passed) so do understand the grief.
I hope the other one is ok? I suspect they feel it too

ellenvan

Wishing you a happy new year.
Hope you are able to post an update soon 

northAthenian

hey, hope you are easing into this new year at a gentle pace, that room swaps have brought new inspirations and motivations to all the household .

EatingBeans

Happy New Year all, I am back! What can I say, it has been a blur of a couple of weeks. 

The room swop was all finished off and everyone has settled back in nicely. I had to take almost everything back out of my new room, move the furniture around and put everything back because it just wasn’t working for me but now it is spot on. The girls are both celebrating their new room too which feels odd because noone feels like they drew the short straw. The only comments have been about why we didn’t do it sooner! 🤷‍♀️

Personally though, I have been a right mess. Between the sobbing over the guinea pig, exhaustion from moving the room around and struggles with being in pain, I’ve been dropping balls all over the place. I forgot to tax the van, the Christmas tree is still up, and it took me until about the 4th to even wish my mum Happy New Year. I haven’t been food shopping since our Christmas shop came on the 23rd December and my attention to my finances has been non existent. I know it must be bad because I had three messages from my credit card that the monthly subscriptions I had for dog food etc had been declined due to insufficient funds. 😞 I think I basically crawled into bed after the guinea past and barely got out again. 😢 The things I did do were really due to others poking me (for which I am very grateful). 

I am feeling a lot more mentally with it today, albeit in quite a bit of pain from the Trigeminal Neuralgia. I think the girl’s going back to college has helped, as did the visits from my brother over the past couple of days. Not only did he take my aged laptop away and find a way to fix it, but he also took me out for dinner (reminding me there was a world outside), and yesterday brought over some Christmas presents he had bought for me. Not only am I very grateful for the gifts, but it seemed to help me unstick from Christmas. It was like my brain could tell the gifts were late and that made it realise time had moved on so my inner clock was also running late. I can’t really explain it, but now I am suddenly very conscious of how behind I am with life! 

Trying to regulate the growing anxiety that comes with the realisation that the world moved on whilst I have been in a daze, I have decided to just accept I am behind and try to prioritise and take one step at a time. Next step is to pick dd2 up from college and take her to her orthodontist appointment.

I have three things I have sold on ebay that need posting so they are next on the to-do list, (I also sold one thing on Vinted but it’s been so long since it sold it got refunded 😬).

I also need to get my driving licence renewed at the Post Office as it expires this month and my passport is also out-of-date. 

Then, if it is still open I need to get to the pharmacy to pick up more tablets. 

Lots more to do but I’m going to at least aim to start there. 

Cherryfudge

Sending a big hug, what a lot to cope with. You will get there, though. If that was me, I might pretend it was someone else's life and you've come to help them. That sounds odd but it can be so much easier to be objective about other people's lives and distinguish the urgent thing and those that can wait. Perhaps make yourself a list of things that can wait (passport? Christmas tree?) and things that could be got out of the way in half an hour (parcel number one?). Then park the 'can wait' list on the fridge and give yourself half an hour of self care for getting this far.

And how nice that your brother has visited and helped you get past the 'just getting through the day' days. I think perhaps your brain had gone into a state of overwhelm and that was what you needed to get through, but now you are ready to move on?

Thanks for posting - always a good sign.  

ellenvan

So glad to see you posting again.
You have a lot to cope with. Just take small steps as and when you can.

EatingBeans

Well all in all I am counting today as a success! 

dd2 got taken to the orthodontist, sold items were found, packed and posted, driving licence renewed (even though I couldn’t find my current one), and medication picked up. Oh and I also had a shower and washed some clothes. 😁 I’ve done more today than any day since Christmas.

The rest of the day is dedicated to doggos and I am going to take some extra painkillers so I may end up asleep again before I know it. 

I think tomorrow’s job needs to be packing away the Christmas stuff so I can have a clearer space to think in, then I need to empty the van as it is booked in to the garage on Wednesday to finally have the seats removed. If I am up to it I will start trying to catch up on what’s been happening with my finances but I suspect that is going to take more than one session to unpick. At least I now have a laptop to work on again! 🙂

Cherryfudge

Wow, that's such a well-targeted list of accomplishments! Guaranteed to reduce the load on your brain and make you feel better. Frogs eaten, as they say (though I feel too sorry for the frogs to adopt that as my own motto).

I hope you're getting some rest now and feeling better for all you've got done/out of the house.

Humdinger1

Wonderful to hear from you @EatingBeans! Some days have to make for others in terms of productivity, but you're smashing it overall!   There's no rule that says every day has to reach a certain average- it's about what suits you.   Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx