At an all time low..

Baldybear

Hello diary lovely day with sister yesterday and then did a bit more work when dd in bed.  Hope to have reasonable invoice in a few days.

Dh had day off today and wanted to go to coast and persuaded dd she wanted to go so we went.  Dh drove so his fuel and he paid for lunch and i spent £10 cash on amusements for dd.  Had big arguements on way home again when dd was asleep, we do things like this for dd but only tolerate each other.  I hate this situation and need it to change somehow.

I have a video uc apptmt tomorrow but really need a face to face to sort out finances properly.  A lot depends on dla award but that could take 6 months.  I really need to find some more work that i can fit in around childcare, will need to have a think what i can do.

slm6002

Am following along as have been in your situation before and we made it through to the other side and are thriving, so hold on and keep going.

I do think the sooner OH leaves the better it will be.  Money may be tight but remember he will still need to contribute towards your daughters care.  Would OH stay in this country or go back to his family if he actually left?

I hope your UC meeting goes well.  Don't forget that if on benefits a lot of the utilities have lower rates for those of us on them.  Broadband and phone is £20 for me, I used to pay a much lower council tax (until DD1 turned 19), water bills can be put on a lower rate.

If you could divorce where each of you just go your own ways, assume he has the bank account in his name, he can have that and you get the house.  If he does give you money, perhaps withdraw it in cash and keep it somewhere safe as an emergency cash.

I think once the house is yours, downsizing would be a good idea and would be a new start.  How much is due before actually moving, could most of the fees come out of your profits? Sorry its be 20+ years since I last moved.

debtfreewannabe321

Morning @Baldybear I did reply on my thread to you but wanted to come and cheer you on here. 
Keep posting. The lovely people on here will help support you as best as they can and cheer you on when you're feeling low. You've been through so much loss I suspect that you are still grieving in Many ways. Could you find a grief support group whilst waiting on therapy? 
I would do an SOA I use this one --- https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/
And I would also look into a Debt management plan whilst you are still with your husband. 
Then once you have your budget and debts and income under control I'd be looking to remove the husband from the picture permanently. You can get pretty quick divorces these days. And separate finances (get him off your mum's house that was left to you!) and once that is done it will be easy to downsize. I had all sorts of issues selling my old house that I owned with my ex because I'd left him on the mortgage. He had to counter sign every bit of paper alongside me. He saw all my finances and argued for money that wasn't even his and I had to pay him. 
If your husband is with you when you downsize then he may see big chunks of money and think - yeh I'll be having some of that and as your husband he'd be entitled. So I'd remove him from your current mortgage once you split before selling up. Others may have better advice but that's how I would do this. 
I've left a recommendation for a book you might wish to read on my thread. I hope your meeting goes well and you get some good news!

Baldybear

slm6002 said:

Am following along as have been in your situation before and we made it through to the other side and are thriving, so hold on and keep going.

I do think the sooner OH leaves the better it will be.  Money may be tight but remember he will still need to contribute towards your daughters care.  Would OH stay in this country or go back to his family if he actually left?

I hope your UC meeting goes well.  Don't forget that if on benefits a lot of the utilities have lower rates for those of us on them.  Broadband and phone is £20 for me, I used to pay a much lower council tax (until DD1 turned 19), water bills can be put on a lower rate.

If you could divorce where each of you just go your own ways, assume he has the bank account in his name, he can have that and you get the house.  If he does give you money, perhaps withdraw it in cash and keep it somewhere safe as an emergency cash.

I think once the house is yours, downsizing would be a good idea and would be a new start.  How much is due before actually moving, could most of the fees come out of your profits? Sorry its be 20+ years since I last moved.

Hello thanks so much for the reply and useful information about utilities i will look into those x.

We have separate bank accounts he transfers money over to me on payday so cant do a runner with money in my account.  I have 2 accts 1 for main bills which i transfer over each month and can run itself general one for everything else. 

Need to investigate about selling if it was from profits could do as have no money upfront at thr moment to do it otherwise.

Baldybear

debtfreewannabe321 said:

Morning @Baldybear I did reply on my thread to you but wanted to come and cheer you on here. 
Keep posting. The lovely people on here will help support you as best as they can and cheer you on when you're feeling low. You've been through so much loss I suspect that you are still grieving in Many ways. Could you find a grief support group whilst waiting on therapy? 
I would do an SOA I use this one --- https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/
And I would also look into a Debt management plan whilst you are still with your husband. 
Then once you have your budget and debts and income under control I'd be looking to remove the husband from the picture permanently. You can get pretty quick divorces these days. And separate finances (get him off your mum's house that was left to you!) and once that is done it will be easy to downsize. I had all sorts of issues selling my old house that I owned with my ex because I'd left him on the mortgage. He had to counter sign every bit of paper alongside me. He saw all my finances and argued for money that wasn't even his and I had to pay him. 
If your husband is with you when you downsize then he may see big chunks of money and think - yeh I'll be having some of that and as your husband he'd be entitled. So I'd remove him from your current mortgage once you split before selling up. Others may have better advice but that's how I would do this. 
I've left a recommendation for a book you might wish to read on my thread. I hope your meeting goes well and you get some good news!

Hello thanks so much for reply and great advice to bear in mind about the house x  i would hope he wouldnt do that but who knows so need to tread carefully.

Baldybear

Hello all sorry been a few days but life as always takes over.

Dd has a cold and been terrified would go to her chest and we end up back in hospital but we have been using her nebs regularly and this morning seems better so hoping she carries on improving 😊

Managed to finish of last batch of my work and invoiced £135 so thats great and should be paid next week.  Got another batch to start on as well so good to be back in the swing of it all.

Did stepchange online and it said couldnt do dmp as budget not big enough just suggested a 12 month break plan so will need to investigate more options this week when dd back at school.  Did put basic dh contributions so will need tp see if this is upped whether that will change.

Dh did pay some yesterday and now taking into account no council tax or water month have enough to pay main bills for feb.  Uc due on 5th and that will pay my car insurance due ay end of month with some hopefully left over to save or make extra payments.  Just need to make sure when dh is here he pays enough so can try and sort debts out somehow.

Low spend week £2 on playgroup.and £15 spent on copying and postage but now dd dla appeal all completed and paperwork sent off.  Had a letter saying 11 weeks so here is hoping this will work out ok and get that award, keeping everything crossed x

peb

Hi, I'd say lovely to have you back but sorry about the circumstance.  Before following Stepcanges advise please do post you SoA and circumstances on the main debt free section of the board, there are a few folk over there who are really knowledgeable and could help.

debtfreewannabe321

Aw I hope DD is better soon. 
Agree with posting a soa I did this when I first joined and some really useful advice 🙂

Baldybear

Morning all

DD seems better thank goodness, still keeping up with the nebs regularly which seem to be working, just at the tail end of the cold now, so pleased no more hospital visits for now.  Although one this week on thursday for her heart, hopefully to confirm here VSD hole in heart is closed and we can sign that one off.

Spends yesterday were £60 in Aldi and £13 in Asda but good lot of stock up shopping done.  Managed to do quite a bit of work whilst small person in school too.  Today have spent £50 in fuel but got paid child benefit yesterday so this covered most of costs from last few days.  Still not been paid for job yet but will chase soon.  Have £2 in bank account now but no spends needed, need car park from hospital on thursday but hoping DH can finish early from work and drive and pay.  I do have cash out for playgroup on friday so can always take from that as already have this terms money saved in cash for that.

A couple of items sold on vinted, one posted yesterday and must wrap and post the other one today, only small amounts but will help.  About to do car insurance quotation so hopefully not too expensive.  

Will post SOA soon as well, will make a new thread as suggested, thank you but will also post on here too so good for my remembering where I am.

Baldybear

My SOA

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 2

Number of children in household......... 1

Number of cars owned.................... 2[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 100

Partners monthly income after tax....... 1200

Benefits................................ 783

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 2083[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 585

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 237

Electricity............................. 94

Gas..................................... 0

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 51

Telephone (land line)................... 49

Mobile phone............................ 0

TV Licence.............................. 14

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0

Internet Services....................... 0

Groceries etc. ......................... 350

Clothing................................ 50

Petrol/diesel........................... 65

Road tax................................ 25

Car Insurance........................... 50

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 45

Car parking............................. 10

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 30

Other child related expenses............ 10

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 15

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0

Buildings insurance..................... 25

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 19

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 15

Haircuts................................ 10

Entertainment........................... 15

Holiday................................. 0

Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 1764[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 425000

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 7500

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 432500[/b]

[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 63000....(585)......4.52[b]

Total secured & HP debts...... 63000.....-.........-   [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

SCC............................9499.94...250.......18.9

VCC............................13511.....339.......17.9

BCC............................15960.8...445.......18.9[b]

Total unsecured debts..........38971.74..1034......-  [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 2,083

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,764

Available for debt repayments........... 319

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,034[b]

Amount short for making debt repayments. -715[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 432,500

Total HP & Secured debt................. -63,000

Total Unsecured debt.................... -38,971.74[b]

Net Assets.............................. 330,528.26[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

Few Notes to add to help:  DH was paying more have averaged out what he is paying at the moment towards the household, this week was £400, last week was £150, it depends on what he feels like.  He keeps threatening to leave and then would only have the benefit amount to live on, which is Universal Credit £681, single person plus one child and also child benefit for one child.  I do earn but ad hoc so average £100 a month but would hope to earn more.

House insurance is building and contents included.  Phone is landline, broadband and basic tv package included.  I dont have sky or any streaming subscriptions.  DD watches youtube but free on phone with adverts.  

The car costs are just for me, I havent included DH as he can pay his own this year, he has the money that he isnt giving me so apart from basic bills which he is contributing to above.

I dont feel I can cut back anywhere at all.  My only cut back is DH left I can take the council tax down by 25%, I could decrease the grocery bills as just me and DD.

In September DD will start full time school so will not have to pay the extra childcare costs and hopefully can up my work hours.  At the moment only do 15hrs so not a lot of time to find work to fit in anywhere.  As posted in diary I dont have anyone to ask to help with ad hoc childcare its all down to me and DD has lots of hospital apptmts so I have to take her to all of these, again no one to help.

I have applied for DLA as daughter has issues so hoping this will be awarded as then can claim this and carers allowance so will make a big difference in income.

I cant afford to pay debts now and have missed 2 payments so far.  Any advice would be appreciated.