A Fresh Start, a year of growth and balance.

in_need_of_direction

isn’t he self employed or did I make that up?

BudgetingBelinda

@joedenise and @liselle he’s self employed/director of his own LTD company. Where it gets tricky/where he can weedle out of it and perhaps that’s been his plan as he hasn’t paid properly since he went self employed and set up his company. 😤
Hope they can get him to cough up will be helpful as everything costs so much and I’d love to be able to take the boys on holiday again. He’s been on holiday.. with his new partner, but no £’s for his children 🧐. 

I can manage without but that’s not the point is it. Euuugh so gross this happens. I’ll be seeing what CMS get up to next in trying to get the £’s.

BudgetingBelinda

Eldest poorly today so I was off today WFH and doing some sorting in between. Moved around DS2 bedroom and did a clean and sort. Looks lots bigger and better. Some more work to do but a good start for half term organisation plans 💪🏼🥳

BudgetingBelinda

in_need_of_direction said:

isn’t he self employed or did I make that up?

Yes you are right, self employed ‘director’ of Ltd company. 

BudgetingBelinda

Organising and decluttering is so contagious. Did a bit here and there today. Had no plans to get stuck in and was working on very little sleep with some WFH and a precious poorly boy.. I’ve just come to bed and done a ton of sorting today. Massively productive. Even painted a few bits of wall! Began on the dining/dumping room too and looks so much better already. Really showing up how much I need to paint all the rooms though and the other areas in need of decluttering and tlc. 

An unexpected win of a day. DS1 is feeling better and only a few more days until a week off when I can relax and potter some more. 

From a very plopppers start to the day, after DS1 unwell last night, the dog then puked on his (DS1’s) bed in the night… adding insult to illness 😵‍💫 poor thing/s!! And so I was not expecting the day to be ending on a high. ✅ 
Now I’m pretty tired and hoping for a good night sleep. With no poorly people or pooch! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼😴

BudgetingBelinda

A shorter work day today. Lots of admin to do. Looking forward to an early finish and then just one more short day and done for 10 days! Really feeling better after a few chill and self care weekends lately so not really burnt out like usual before the break. Feeling excited to have a relaxing weekend and so much sorting out over the break! 

Budget is looking a bit sparse atm. Really hoping I can get up to 2k EF asap. March will be my saving grace for this as that was my buffer month. Want the majority in there by end of Feb/next pay day though. 

If CMS come through I’ll be on track. I also have £186 in my SSISA so in theory I’m not a million miles away. Frugal half term coming up 🤞🏼 if there is such a thing with two DS’?! 

BudgetingBelinda

Laying in bed pre 8pm 👌🏼 a nice day. Bit of work, pretty hectic but kept my balanced vibe, home earlier than usual and only a short day tomorrow and I’m going to have such a chill weekend as I have then the whole week for getting stuff done. Still working for me is rest first then when I am adequately self cared up I am productive minus all the guilt and pressure. It’s working wonders. Used to dash about trying to get it all done before I was allowing myself a guilt free rest, now I’ve switched it up and reversed the mindset. I cannot wait to lay down all weekend and only get up to cook, walk dog, ride and use the toilet 🤣. I am prescribing myself bed bound from Fri 6pm- Sat 10am then Sat 2pm til Sun 9am! 🙌🏼👌🏼🤞🏼💪🏼🥳 

BudgetingBelinda

A nice weekend. Chores done on the whole and relaxing mixed in with great outdoors time. Chilly though and now I have a cold. Spicy chicken noodle soup made. Spicy Tacos also on the menu. Need to recoup, don’t want to be sniffly and cold-y this week. Rough plans for the week...
Mon: chill and a little pottering, hopefully a lot but I’ll see.
Tues: meeting for DS2 and DS1 friend round for sleepover.
Weds: chill, long dog walk with all the boys and friends.
Thursday: DS2 off out with support worker, I’ll go to the yard.
Fri: tbc
Need dining room further decluttered. Old storage unit sorted and gotten rid of. 

BudgetingBelinda

It’s never as you plan!
So, had a last min plan last night for today for us all, then that had to change, then change again last min. Ahhh but in the end not home very long to potter, I did however mow the lawn and do some shopping/walk dog/kids had fun.. amongst it all. 

CMS phoned and asked if I consent to them taking enforcement action. I said what else is there to do? They said he has refused to respond to their many letters and calls so they are left with enforcement action. I agreed. Then navigated a very slight twinge of wanting to tell him… sort it out, things are getting much worse if you don’t respond etc. 
I haven’t as I’m sticking to my boundaries and he’s had so many years of grace. CMS said if he knows they are going to enforcement action he might be able to stop it. Between that and the abuse I get from him when previously I’ve brought it up I’m saying nothing and getting a hold of myself. The enforcement action… and avoiding??… I’m not sure what that means? Maybe he could switch bank accounts or take money out? They were cagey on what they are doing next… said taking to a third party/go to the source to recover funds, as self employed I’m guessing just straight to his bank? I don’t think bailiff would have much luck as it’s just branded clothes and a big telly/sponge ing off his gf on the whole 🥴. Also one of the reasons plans changed today was a reflection on how he rolls of just not communicating and the coercion and sabotage he rolls out. So I’m uneasy to be doing the CMS/enforcement route but it’s a mixed bag as I see it all so clearly now and I’m so over being emotionally and financially used and abused. 

This year is the year where I am debt free, after all that toxic hideous stuff. And where I reclaim stronger boundaries, precious self care for me and the boys.

In other news I’ve got a horrid cold still and am having an early night! Boys sleepover tomorrow night… (Totally miss sold as such as these teens do not sleep during sleepovers do they?!) snacks a plenty and I’ll pull the WiFi plug at midnight 😜

lucielle

Sleepless overs, I used to call them!
L