It won't happen overnight. But if I do nothing it won't happen at all. (MFW diary 5761)

Working_Mum

I'm sorry you're feeling low seventh88
you don't have to answer obviously but I wonder how you normally navigate these times?

I find forcing myself to get out in the fresh air (I have a dog so that helps!) and treating myself kindly helps. 

This time of year, the sun being low in the sky, doesn't help  - it has been poking its head out a little over the last few days so I have been making sure I got my face out!

Sending big hugs to you

((WM))

seventh88

Hi @Working_Mum thanks for your kind words and hugs. Aye, it’s a grey time of year isn’t it! I’m just taking things an hour at a time and doing the basics (try and eat well, sleep, exercise). You’re right about being kind to yourself, and about fresh air, we all need that at times. On the plus side, I’ve just been able to add an extra £76 to the MFW fund for this month. 

seventh88

Hi everyone,

Here's an update for this week:

Challenges

1. Low mood. But hey. It'll blow over.

Successes

1. My shopping habits are improving. I'm often a sucker for a bargain, whether it's 2-for-1s in the supermarket or a £1 jumper in a charity shop. But now I'm asking myself 'it doesn't matter how cheap it is - do you actually love it and need it?'. If the answer is no, it goes back on the shelf! It all adds up and I've been inspired by folks on here paying specific small amounts towards their mortgage, £8.90 here, £17.20 there, etc. So the money I'm not spending on stuff I don't need is going towards that.

2. Goodbudget App is really helping. It's useful to see where I'm spending day-to-day and how much I actually have left, rather than waiting to get to my excel spreadsheet once a week as I used to.

Question:

I think my change in shopping habits this month is my biggest game changer. When you started to get serious about overpaying on your mortgage, what was your biggest game changer? What shifted for you the most?

Thanks everyone.

seventh88

Hi folks,

Hope you’ve had a good week aiming for your MFW goals. 

Heres a few notes from mine:

Challenges: 

- comparison! I’ve heard stories this week, people around me talking: so and so has this much, someone else is paying for this, we can afford x and y… all those things that float around, people your age in a similar boat, those stories that make you think ‘what am I doing wrong? Why haven’t I got as far as they have in life?’ I try and remind myself to compare myself to myself. We’re all different, we’ve had different opportunities and challenges in life that have lead us to where we are. I can’t think back, all I can do is look forward and do the best I can, and then the next day aim for a little better 

Successes

- I’m spending much more mindfully on the food shop

- Im on track with my budget this month

- my mfw goal is a little ahead of schedule 

- Im posting here roughly once a week, and the thought of this is helping to keep me accountable

Questions:

How do you cope with financial comparison on your mfw journey? 

Have a good week ahead everyone

beanielou

Financial comparison is the thief of joy. 

seventh88

Aye, I agree with you there! How do we stop ourselves from doing it? 

Working_Mum

I am going to give a huge generalisation here but I think people who say things along the lines of "I've got blah blah blah" are often insecure and seek some sort of affirmation they are "better than" others.

Once you're content with yourself, your choices, where you are in life these types of comments roll off you. My friend and I often compare notes on a mutual friend who presents to the outside world a truly amazing life but the reality behind the scenes is quite different and really tragic - we often say "give us our honest congruent life any day of the week"

Being aware of these things is all part of your journey and shows you're aware and making conscious decisions. Keep it going!

V3cash

seventh88 said:

Hi folks,

Hope you’ve had a good week aiming for your MFW goals. 

Heres a few notes from mine:

Challenges: 

- comparison! I’ve heard stories this week, people around me talking: so and so has this much, someone else is paying for this, we can afford x and y… all those things that float around, people your age in a similar boat, those stories that make you think ‘what am I doing wrong? Why haven’t I got as far as they have in life?’ I try and remind myself to compare myself to myself. We’re all different, we’ve had different opportunities and challenges in life that have lead us to where we are. I can’t think back, all I can do is look forward and do the best I can, and then the next day aim for a little better 

Successes

- I’m spending much more mindfully on the food shop

- Im on track with my budget this month

- my mfw goal is a little ahead of schedule 

- Im posting here roughly once a week, and the thought of this is helping to keep me accountable

Questions:

How do you cope with financial comparison on your mfw journey? 

Have a good week ahead everyone

I don’t 🤣🤣🤣
no actually 
I listen to Mel Robbins podcasts and she has some really good ways of looking at other people and not comparing yourself.
Love her! She’s actually changed my outlook on so many things.

like you say we all have different opportunities and some people seem to have it all sorted out.
The people on this forum tend to have same goals and aspirations and 
I try and let people inspire me to reach my goals and use it as motivation.

I think you are doing really well with your goals 👍

V3cash

fjireland said:

Hello

similar situation here

I’ve just come out of a long term relationship where essentially we kept finances totally separate and I was doing it alone anyways …

I worked insanely hard like you juggling tons of work and being mortgage obsessed for a good 4-5 years 

I lost my spark just like you say 

My only advice is balance …. I’ve been told it here by others but it took a while for me to actually get that …. I heard balance, told myself I was doing it but in truth I let my personal life suffer because I was mortgage free obsessed … I achieved some great goals with the mortgage during the years I was obsessed and I don’t regret it now keeping my head down and working hard for those years BUT I realised no regrets but have to change it up for my own sake … so I’m more balanced now… work less, set more realistic targets with overpayments … it’s slower progress but I forgot to live in the meantime and essentially being mortgage free later at the expense of living and enjoying the good years of health etc is unwise … I would advise you keep on your mortgage free journey but don’t put pressure on self … live and enjoy life too

When my mental health is low I get totally obsessed with money and budgeting and then I know I have to take time for myself as it’s not healthy.
i have sat for hours studying my finances and it’s a real waste of time as it doesn’t change from one second to the next 🤣
its definitely about balance.
having 2 people recently die who I cared for very much puts it into perspective, life is definitely for living.

V3cash

seventh88 said:

Thanks @Idreamofplants that’s really helpful and encouraging advice. I’m sorry to hear that you felt more responsibility for clearing the mortgage despite it being a shared thing, and I bet you’re not alone in that too -I imagine there’s a lot of couples who don’t feel the stress in the same way. My wages are going to change from mid-Jan onwards when my working hours change, so I’m going to look at doing a statement of affairs in Feb. An exercise journal is a great idea. I’ve been enjoying some winter walks lately, and might get back into running/cycling when the weather improves a little. 

I’m doing couch to 5k after an ankle injury so it’s nice to have personal goals too, I don’t mind running in cold, it’s the rain I can’t bare.
Running does make you feel good, in face you have inspired me to get out today 👍

I use a simple spending app
The app looks like a brown wallet, think I paid for it, although I did have it for years and didn’t.
I put everything on it, wages and all other outgoings, I put £0 on credit card, them as I spend on cc I  add everything as I go, I literally do it coming out of shop then I can see how much is left, it stops me spending too much and you can see everything, can’t be doing with spread sheets as I love an app.