It won't happen overnight. But if I do nothing it won't happen at all. (MFW diary 5761)

seventh88

Hello,

I've been registered on the forum a while and posted a bit, but have struggled to keep up with it. However, I've joined the MFW 25 challenge and maybe starting a diary will help keep me accountable so here goes:

Situation

My mortgage is currently £114, 762 and I pay £531.50 a month. I am a solo homeowner working 40 hrs across two jobs. No partner, no kids, no pets, no car, no TV subscriptions.

Challenges

• I'm low in mood (I find it hard to spend money on things that aren't the mortage, and time on things that aren't work. I worry about money and about creating a stable base for myself).
  
• I feel very alone (e.g. in tackling life stuff, like mortgages, house repairs, decisions about the house, work and earning enough to keep going).

Strengths

• I'm good with a spreadsheet and a budget
• I've got this far in life! That's a good thing, right??

Goals

• Save £250 a month to overpay on the mortgage (£3000 by the end of 2025)
• I'd really like to regain some of my spark. I'd like to feel lighter and happier in life, more able to enjoy myself. Worry less about money. I'm not sure how to do this yet. But perhaps making the overpayments will help towards this.
  

Questions

• How do others cope with loneliness (in terms of paying mortgages, managing repairs, making decisions as a homeowner, feeling like you're tackling everything in life by yourself, feeling trapped in your job etc)? There's no one to lean on, there's no back up, there's just you.
• How do others balance letting yourself enjoy life, relax at times, take time off work, spend some money on enjoyable things...and trying to pay off the mortgage? I guess it's an age old question!

Thanks for reading and for your support

fjireland

Hello

similar situation here

I’ve just come out of a long term relationship where essentially we kept finances totally separate and I was doing it alone anyways …

I worked insanely hard like you juggling tons of work and being mortgage obsessed for a good 4-5 years 

I lost my spark just like you say 

My only advice is balance …. I’ve been told it here by others but it took a while for me to actually get that …. I heard balance, told myself I was doing it but in truth I let my personal life suffer because I was mortgage free obsessed … I achieved some great goals with the mortgage during the years I was obsessed and I don’t regret it now keeping my head down and working hard for those years BUT I realised no regrets but have to change it up for my own sake … so I’m more balanced now… work less, set more realistic targets with overpayments … it’s slower progress but I forgot to live in the meantime and essentially being mortgage free later at the expense of living and enjoying the good years of health etc is unwise … I would advise you keep on your mortgage free journey but don’t put pressure on self … live and enjoy life too

seventh88

Thanks @fjireland, it’s reassuring to hear I’m not alone in this. In the back of mind I think I know that ‘balance’ is the key to being a MFW, I think I just…haven’t got that right for me yet. I guess it’s different for everyone and I’ll figure it out over time.
how do you cope with the weightiness of it all? The house decisions, the repairs, the knowledge that it’s just you keeping you going and if it all went up in smoke, there’s no back up?

fjireland

I hear you … it took me a long time to get the balance right - and everyone is different… it’s only natural to feel torn between wanting to achieve as much as possible and also make life not just bearable but joyful too… 

I could honestly feel myself becoming unwell and worn down because I kept saying to myself- you’ve done x amount, you can keep going .. 

so don’t beat yourself up - don’t let it feel weighty on your shoulders - I found putting a note in my phone of the achievements to date (and updating with every small win) helpful … in those moments of feeling overwhelmed, taking that note out has helped me keep perspective on what has been achieved and that it’s ok to miss a target from time to time 

Good luck ! You’ll smash it  

seventh88

That’s a really good point about keeping a note of achievements and letting yourself miss a target here and there. After all, literally nothing in nature blooms all year round - we have our ebbs and flows as humans too. I think spreadsheets (whilst very useful!) can feel a bit clinical sometimes and I forget that I’m human.

Thanks for your encouragement and support 

beanielou

Happy shiny new diary. 

It is weighty having sole responsibility for your mortgage. However you can turn that on its head and be very happy with how far you’ve come and what you have achieved in your life and in your own right. 

Keep posting 🤗

seventh88

Thanks for your kind words and encouragement @beanielou

debtfreeoneday

Throughout our debt free and mortgage free journey I was always clear with myself about having some balance and treating ourselves as the journey to debt freeness wasn’t a quick one. I used to (and still do) use the survey earnings for treats and days out so I didn’t feel it was earned money we were spending but free money. 

seventh88

Hi @debtfreeoneday that's a good point about having some set money that you see as different (e.g. earmarking your survey earnings for treats and days out).

seventh88

Hi everyone,

Here's an update this week:

Successes

- I've earmarked a day in the new year to look at my budgeting spreadsheet

- Have done OK with trying to use up food/take care of leftovers, rather than waste things or keep buying food that I don't need

- Was planning on buying some stuff for the house in the sale, and then talked myself out of it, as I still haven't got the blinds put up that I also bought for the house earlier in the year. Put the blinds up first, then you can buy other stuff as and when you need it, I'm telling myself.

Challenges

- Feeling low at facing the mortgage/budgeting alone

- Not quite worked out how I plan to have fun/enjoy myself whilst aiming to be mortgage free, but I'll get there!!

Questions

- To everyone who is a little further on their mortgage free journey... if you could go back and give yourself one piece of advice at the start, what would it be?

Thanks for reading and for all your support

RedLipstick

Happy new diary!

I hope you've had a nice Christmas!

I'm really looking forward to read about your journey, I can relate to your story and the challenges of facing the mortgage alone. I took mine out two years ago, it currently stands at £163000 (from initial £173700). I thought the balance will go down a bit faster but didn't get a chance to overpay much with all the costs, and prioritised building my emergency fund first.

Have you thought of doing a wee SOA? I've been lurking on these forums for circa 3 years now and I try to do one for myself every 6-12 months, it really helps me to look at where I can make some nice cuts (e.g. that £63 D/D for a gym I went to 7 times in last 6 months, oh well!)

With regards to treating myself, I browse Tckt Master and book some events I would like to see, so every few months I go out to see a standup comedian, went to one in September and I have another event scheduled in for March. Sometimes I get my sister to come with me though she lives abroad so it's quite a bit of logistics! I also like to get away to Europe for a wee city break, managed to go twice this year and kept the costs between £300-£500.

I wholeheartedly agree with @fjireland re keeping a note of your achievements. I have this silly habit of getting fun celebration cards for myself. Just the other day I bought myself a "Happy Retirement" card (lol) even though I'm nowhere near a retirement age! But I know having it on display will help me through the 2025, remind me of my mortgage free dreams and achieve some of the financial goals I have for the upcoming year. When I first decided to save money for the deposit few years ago, I've had half of the kitchen wall in my rented flat plastered in printouts of flats, floor plans and some nice furniture I wanted to get. Oh that gave me the proper kick! It's so much fun when I look at some of the previous printouts or "You did it!" cards when I first bought the place, when I got the initial 10k off the mortgage, etc. I'm sure I will have quite a collection!

Wishing you all the best for 2025, I will be following you on your journey so please keep posting