It won't happen overnight. But if I do nothing it won't happen at all. (MFW diary 5761)

RedLipstick

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81882538#Comment_81882538

Good to hear from you! Can relate so much!

I suspect it's the solo living/finances anxiety. I've previously had a chunky emergency fund, and even before getting my mortgage, having a chunk of money in savings felt so reassuring. I found it weird at times, because from time to time I would worry, that I will lose my rented property, but because of the available money, I never really worried THAT much. So in a way we have a much better security now with having our own properties, mortgage likely being half the rent, etc, so definitely something we need to recognise and appreciate. Also, people live in poverty all around the world, so it's good to take a step back from time to time and recognise that we've worked very hard for what we have, but still in this day it's kind of a privilege, I mean look at us, flying solo. But yeah, solo mortgage feels different, like there is some sort of a higher responsibility/risk, though there is no landlord to send you a monthly notice so the risk is lower, but actually no landlord to contact if something breaks, what a weird feeling really! Now imagine having no landlord, and no mortgage! We'll get there!

There is a book I've read before called "How to worry less about money" by John Armstrong, I should revisit again! 😅

Looking forward to your next update, all the best! xx

V3cash

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81882538#Comment_81882538

my anxiety definitely comes from childhood as my parents liked to tell us that we had to tighten our belts all the time so I constantly worried, sure I’m programmed that way now!

The world we live in isn’t too stable either so it’s no wonder we feel a bit wobbly.

I’ve used chat GPT recently and it actually helps me put things into perspective and lessened my anxiety and definitely couch to 5k/walks/ physical activity helps enormously too.

seventh88

@RedLipstick yes, totally - and I remember reading that book, and it really hits the nail on the head with my worries/anxiety. The bottom line is i have enough to live off (and recognise this is so much more than millions of others), the anxiety is disproportionate to the situation really. It’s not related to a specific amount. There will always be a new scenario to worry about and it’s unfounded/unwarranted. I’ll work on it! I need to let go of amounts and lean into a sense of safety within myself - I know that’s what it comes down to really. Really appreciate your allyship and support

@V3cash yes - me too. I know parents just want you to do well, to be secure, have enough etc - but it stays with you doesn’t it. And the news doesn’t help either, the fear of rising bills etc, it kind of feeds the anxiety. It’s great to hear you’ve found some things that have helped, i do have an AI on a wellbeing app I’ve got actually so might return to that, you’ve prompted me now! Thanks for your support

seventh88

Hey everyone,

I hope the week is treating you well so far.

Here's an update from me:

Successes

1. Turns out I have just not spent a lot this month! Haven't gone out as much but have given myself more time to recoup - just letting myself have down time at home with a book or a film has been needed. As a result I added 798 to the MFW goal this month, which is great news
2. Being more thoughtful with the food shop and meal planning, also still picking up freebies/offers where possible - this has made a difference
3. I had a lot of vouchers at the moment through various deals or through gifts, so I've spent some of those this month. As I've had 'new stuff' it feels like I've spent a lot…but I haven't! Bonus.

Challenges

1. I'm officially looking for other jobs, I need to get out of where I am. But also want to keep paying the mortgage lol, so keeping that in mind when looking at what I can afford to take. It's been a while since I've been seriously hunting again, so I'm trying to remind myself to ignore scarmongering and keep an open and positive mindset. Anyone who has landed a new job recently got any tips?!

Hope everyone's MFW goals are going OK

seventh88

Hi everyone,

Hope you're doing OK.

I haven't updated in a while, so here are some thoughts to help keep me accountable.

Successes

1. I have spent more in March/April than in Feb - but I have been able to keep within budget, and for this I'm pleased
2. I've had a slight wage increase of 3% which I appreciate isn't life changing, but certainly is a little and welcome boost, so that money will be going straight towards MFW goal
3. I'm ahead of schedule with MFW goal, current on £3221 of £3600 goal, so I will see what else I can put towards it in the second half of the year
4. I think I'm doing mostly OK with purchases, still sticking to 'Do I really need this? Will it make a difference?' and using up vouchers from xmas, discounts where possible, buying second hand, collecting local useful freebies etc.

Challenges

1. Work continues to be challenging, but then, yes, I am grateful to have a job. I'm still looking for other things, but haven't found anything as of yet that would enable me to keep my current wage and stay in the same line of work. But I'll keep looking

Thoughts going forward…

1. As a solo homeowner, I do often keep coming back to the idea of a housemate. It would make a lot of financial sense, esp with paying the mortgage of quicker, but then again, I'm such an introvert and really value my quiet and private space. So it's not something I'm taking action on at the moment - It would have to be the right person. But it is something that keeps circling back round in my mind.

Thanks everyone for your support and companionship on this journey.

Hope everyone has a successful and prosperous month ahead.

beanielou

Depending on where you live a Monday to Friday lodger might be worth thinking about.

seventh88

Good point - I'll mull it over, that could work much better for me.