Please help new and desperate

Seaxwyn

Jaapie, if you can get a low life of balance rate I think that's the best - it removes any stress about whether you'll be able to find another 0% to transfer to in six months time. I got two good LOB rates and for me that was a large part of feeling in control and able to reduce the debts rather than just keep moving them around.

Good luck - hope 2008 is a good year for you

asp746

Hi and happy new year,

i'm glad you've decided to try and sort your debts out. Although your debt is large it's good that you don't have too many creditors and they are highstreet names - for obvious reasons.

The main thing that caught my attention was you said you had 2 young kids and it was my children that kickstarted me into sorting my debts out. Im a single mum and the kids were about 6 & 7 and there were times i was so skint i couldn't buy them an icecream of an evening and it broke my heart - i just didn't have the cash. I knew i was in debt £15k and had to sort it out - before it grew and grew - my debt grew by about £500 in late fees before i went the CAB.

The thing i'm saying is for your kids sake its now or never. Saying 'no' to them now will not affect them - although you may feel guilty. My kids are now 11 & 13 and any time they want anything (within reason:rolleyes: ) there's no problem as all comes out of my bank is mortgage, council tax, water, gym and car insurance. The rest of the money is mine and the kids. The other thing is try not to buy children seperate things - get stuff they 'share' this is also a good lesson in life - luckily my kids are both girls and clothes were always shared - neither had outfits exclusively for them which helped me enormously:rolleyes:. If you and your husband put your heads together and work your plan out asap you can forecast when you'll be free from the shackles and just by tightening your belts a little you'll achieve a lot and in 6 yrs time when the oldest is around 10 or 11 and more financially demanding you'll have the spare cash to spoil them.

Good luck

jaapie

I feel so much better already and i am going to take the advice and put the cc on a life balance I just want rid of them as it is the cc that are my biggest problem at the moment will let you know if I get one.

i do want to do it for the kids they have a good life and I don't want them growing up knowing about it I am stil going to try and give them the best but on a much smaller budget - hence a long walk today and tomorrow instead of the local funhouse/plaything!

jaapie

Oh forget to say had a great talk with dh last night and feel happier than I have in so long the debt is not my every waking thought now it is just something I am dealing with. I realised that the debt had built up since I went part time 10,000 for every year I did not budget for my loss in income and lived as though it was only me I had to worry about instead of making changes. I know I can do this I just know it is also going to be hard.

barron_hard_up

jaapie wrote: »

I feel so much better already and i am going to take the advice and put the cc on a life balance I just want rid of them as it is the cc that are my biggest problem at the moment will let you know if I get one.

iquote]

goldfish are doing a low rate, it's not life of balance, but it does go on till 2010. The low life of balance rate I got was with Amex, don't know what they are doing now though, could be worth checking out?

k1mmie

Hi. Welcome to the site. You have come to the right place and many people will help and advise where they can. Sometimes it is hard and some of the advice is tough love I'm afraid, but stick with it. I myself placed a thread on here in November where I was desperate and lots of lovely people helpmed with their support. With their encouragement I went out and got a job (that is the crappiest out there), but they have kept my spirits and enthusiasm up and made me stick with it. Please be strong, and for me placing my thread was my first actual acknowledgment openly that there was a poblem and made me question how,where and what amount is spent.

Good luck and keep us posted. All the best. Kim

jaapie

I am finding it OK at the moment -
although a change to be thinking about budgeting all the time. I took the kids for a walk up the mountain today and they loved it. I am switching accounts so all the bills, loans etc.. come out via dd in the one account and ambitiously trying to save a tiny bit so if I need extra money in the month I have it instead of putting it on the credit card.

I have managed not to do a shop yet and am still nervous how that one will go but we are eating everything in the house and managing fine. I have spent 22.50 since Sunday £2.00 on bread and milk and 20.00 on diesel - I paid at the pump so I did not have to go in the shop - which I was quite proud of. My OH is living on a weekly cash budget of £25.00 and seems to be going OK he does not use his card anymore.

Also we have family over and they are going out for a meal tonight and I said no we would not be coming as we cannot afford it. That was quite a big step for me.

RAS

Hi

Lovely to hear that things are going SO much better.

Have a good 2008

fletch3163

Am so happy to see you doing so well. You might find in a day or so this DFW way loses it's sparkle (speaking as one who's done EVERY diet in the land) but it's a long haul thing and your goal is achievable. I had (probably) my first ever no spend day yesterday. I'm amazed!

Keeping_Motivated

It sounds really liberating reading your posts although I am sure its hard too.

You won't regret sorting out a bill account it makes things so much easier to control. I also add a little extra to my bill amount that is transferred each month so that it builds up for any little unexpected extras.

Well done on being honest with the family about the meal.

And mostly I am glad your kids enjoyed the walk, free things are fun too, thank goodness