Please help new and desperate

Running_man

Hi
Can I ask Why did you not cancel Sky instead of reducing it?
Why is your phone bill £35 and mobiles £60?
Seems an awful lot £95 per month just on phone

barron_hard_up

Running_man wrote: »

Hi
Can I ask Why did you not cancel Sky instead of reducing it?
Why is your phone bill £35 and mobiles £60?
Seems an awful lot £95 per month just on phone

Got to aggree with Running man, a lot of saving to be done there...

silkglade

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

I don't think it's 'picking on' someone to say how sorry I feel for them to have to shoulder all of the worry about the debt alone and that I think she will find it difficult to sort out without help from her partner. Seems to me that this is offering sympathy and good advice?

My rant was about unsupportive partners and how unfair it is that two people create the debt and only one person ends up dealing with it. Compared with this, your rant was rubbish.

Actually my rant i feel is totally justified!

I don't think you should have said what you said and the way it was said.

It obviously distressed the op more than she already was, and at the time I believe she felt totally desperate.

Fine to give good advice (which you also did) but what was the point of your last statements on both posts other than to upset her. It was taken personally rather than just a statment about unsupportive spouses.

I am also NOT saying that someone that owes £40K debt will not ever become bankrupt. But as the op has stated she has never missed a payment anyway to date.

Sone become bankrupt due to a much lesser figure, it depends on personal circumstances.

jaapie

Hiya
Thanks everyone - sorry if it started a discussion dithering dad was right its just the word bankrupcy put the fear of god into me yesterday but it did us good as I showed dh the message and it gave him a reality check which he needed so the reality check was a brilliant help and I am back today stronger than ever - and it has helped my marriage!

However, me being honest it could have gone the other way I was so so low yesterday after realising the situation we were in and hearing the word bankrupcy that I could not focus on anything else none of the good points that were coming up but just that a stranger could see everything that was wrong with my finances and my relationship. I was supposed to go to the beach with the kids and my husband but I got him to stop the car and i walked home and spent the afternoon crying. I showed him the message when they came back and he was horrified at how bad it and I was and now he is totally on board.

With this in mind dithering dad was right nothing that he said was out of place and it was a great help (thank you) my only concern is that for someone else it might have made it seem more helpless and something they really couldn't get out of. But then again who knows

jaapie

Hi Running man you are right and I have gotten rid of one of the mobile phones and my husband is getting one from work now I have switched from bt to sky and now my phone is 15.00 inc line rental.

I have not reduced sky as I have to be realistic. If we are not going to go out as much (we both love sport) then we will watch it at home otherwise I know what will happen it will be a quick trip to the pub to see a match or a night over someone elses house to see it. I have cancelled the film package as a start and will see where the rest of it goes.

I have to tackle this one step at a time and in a realistic manner or I won't be able to do it. My monthly phones now are down from 95.00 to 45.00.

jaapie

Also thought the best way to start is by concentrating on getting rid of the credit cards and that is my goal for this year. The cards are 10,300 and they will be gone by this time next year. To do this I have to concentrate on getting down my monthly outgoings and budgeting properly and realistically.

The only thing is I cannot decide whether I should put them onto 0% or a small life of balance APR. I also have 1000.00 emergency money should I use that to pay off part of the card or keep it for things like tax, broken washing machines etc...

My biggest problem is shopping at the supermarkets so we are going to write a list together and then myhusband is going to do the shopping as he hates supermarkets and does not impulse buy as he wants to get out of there as quickly as possible.

I am going to keep paying the loans (obviously) but not "worry" about them until the ccs are paid off.

I only work part time and my husband is able to put in alot of overtime so we have also discussed more working opportunities for the both of us.

I think we are going in the right direction but planning it is easier than doing it. I just know I am ready for it as I never again want to feel like I did yesterday.

barron_hard_up

jaapie wrote: »

With this in mind dithering dad was right nothing that he said was out of place and it was a great help (thank you)

Good girl yourself for seeing the good that was being said and for the graciousness you have shown.:T

barron_hard_up

jaapie wrote: »

The only thing is I cannot decide whether I should put them onto 0% or a small life of balance APR. I also have 1000.00 emergency money should I use that to pay off part of the card or keep it for things like tax, broken washing machines etc...

My biggest problem is shopping at the supermarkets so we are going to write a list together and then myhusband is going to do the shopping as he hates supermarkets and does not impulse buy as he wants to get out of there as quickly as possible.

quote]

Husband sounds a good guy, hold on to him, as my wife says about me, he might come back into fashion.

With some of my credit card debt four years back, I got a rate of 1.9% life of balance transfer, this gave me stability and a chance to go at it from the longer haul approach without having to worry about tarting, because once I had the 1.9% deal, I knew I didn't have to worry about being turned down when it was time to change to a new card. I have been able to use the minimum payment when I was out if work a couple if years back without paying big interest. From a personal point of view, I prefer stability in the fight. I also have another rate of 2.9%. I know this is more than 0%, but it was Martin's personal advice to go this route which he gave to people in our situation on one of his regular interviews on the Jeremy Vine Programme on radio 2. Going with the life of balance system has been very good for me.

Having had to make the choice about paying off the debt or keeping £1000 cash, I would hold on to the £1000 as it will keep you from having to use a cc for emergencies. Also the mental lift of having that money in available cash is a real mental lift.

ed8888_2

Dumbledore55 wrote: »

Hi jaapie - just under 3 years ago I had £22500 debt and now I only have my mortgage thanks to this site. I can be done but takes determination and discipline.


5. I joined lots of survey sites. discovered cashback sites to earn a little bit here and there



DD55

Hi Dunbledore!
Is online survey reliable ? any advice or weblinks pls, thanks. Rgds, ed8888

Keeping_Positive

Good luck with your goals. Im glad you have your OH on board, I do now although he doesnt really want anything to do with the figures. Before he would not listen and say I was always moaning at the same things and turning the tables by saying I didnt do enough to help around the house rather than listen that I couldnt cope with the finances on my own.

DD post harsh but true when two people build up a debt then its needs the two to get out again. Will be following your story if you dont mind.