Lab grown diamond engagement ring vs natural?

Malthusian

kimwp said:

My two cents is to not get a joke ring as that could go wrong

If a woman (or man) is affronted at being presented with a Haribo ring it should be considered a lucky escape. 

(Full disclosure: I did the old-fashioned thing and bought my wife's engagement ring myself)

Pollycat

Malthusian said:

kimwp said:

My two cents is to not get a joke ring as that could go wrong

If a woman (or man) is affronted at being presented with a Haribo ring it should be considered a lucky escape. 

(Full disclosure: I did the old-fashioned thing and bought my wife's engagement ring myself)

How old is 'old-fashioned'?
We shopped for my engagement ring together. 52 years ago.

MiddleEverything

OP, I don't have wedding or engagement rings or indeed a proposal
Does she normally wear rings at all, is one question? If so, what do they look like?

My thought is that you can (taking into account her preferences) buy a pretty but not very expensive ring to propose with - antique maybe, or less expensive stones and metals. And be very quick to explain you would like to go ring shopping for the "main" engagement ring, assuming she says yes.

Then she gets two engagement rings. One for sentiment, one for style. What's not to like?

Also, handy if you have kids and they wash one down the sink...

amysquie

I'd be very happy with a lab-grown diamond.  I went for a second-hand ring, purely by chance I saw it in the window, tried it on and it fit perfectly so it seemed to be right for me!  Unless you know exactly what she wants, I'd recommend proposing with a proposal ring and choosing something together.

scandimore

So many different comments! 
I think you need to consider and observe what she wears, what she likes, how alternative or traditional she is. Maybe rope in a trusted friend of hers. I would prefer a lab grown diamond or a pre-loved ring, and don't really like diamonds anyway. To some people it's all about the size of the diamond. There are so many options available now, including ethically sourced gemstones. I'd steer clear of the high street and try to find yourself a small jeweller who makes the rings themselves and then they can discuss the options and then potentially alter or swap the ring if something goes disastrously wrong and she doesn't like it! I'm sure she will appreciate the thought you gave it.

TripleH

I made my wife's engagement ring. It is unique although a band rather than with a stone.

I did do it after 5 years of marriage but I struggle conceptualising luxury items a bit.  Does it mean I love my wife any less, no I don't think so as I designed and made it myself and personalised it for her.

As has been said, diamonds are a controlled monopoly and not as rare as is made out. Why do people spend so much on them, is it to show off to others, honestly I think so. (Wife's friend was pushing for me to buy a diamond engagement ring knowing her fiance earned more so she could rub her more expensive ring in my wife's face).

The suggestion of buying a second hand ring actually makes far more sense.

Emmia

TripleH said:

I made my wife's engagement ring. It is unique although a band rather than with a stone.

I did do it after 5 years of marriage but I struggle conceptualising luxury items a bit.  Does it mean I love my wife any less, no I don't think so as I designed and made it myself and personalised it for her.

As has been said, diamonds are a controlled monopoly and not as rare as is made out. Why do people spend so much on them, is it to show off to others, honestly I think so. (Wife's friend was pushing for me to buy a diamond engagement ring knowing her fiance earned more so she could rub her more expensive ring in my wife's face).

The suggestion of buying a second hand ring actually makes far more sense.

You made an engagement ring, 5 years after you actually married?! That sounds more like an eternity ring conceptually rather than an engagement ring. 

In some countries the wedding ring and the engagement ring are the same thing.

TripleH

It may have been 6 years. We agreed to get married and decided to spend money on a long honeymoon.

I promised to make the ring but only found somewhere I could easily get to outside of work just before covid (and after 2 moves).

I clearly misunderstand what eternity rings are as well.

Pollycat

TripleH said:

I made my wife's engagement ring. It is unique although a band rather than with a stone.

I did do it after 5 years of marriage but I struggle conceptualising luxury items a bit.  Does it mean I love my wife any less, no I don't think so as I designed and made it myself and personalised it for her.

As has been said, diamonds are a controlled monopoly and not as rare as is made out. Why do people spend so much on them, is it to show off to others, honestly I think so. (Wife's friend was pushing for me to buy a diamond engagement ring knowing her fiance earned more so she could rub her more expensive ring in my wife's face).

The suggestion of buying a second hand ring actually makes far more sense.

Doesn't sound like much of a friend...

Emmia

TripleH said:

It may have been 6 years. We agreed to get married and decided to spend money on a long honeymoon.

I promised to make the ring but only found somewhere I could easily get to outside of work just before covid (and after 2 moves).

I clearly misunderstand what eternity rings are as well.

An eternity ring usually has diamonds (or gemstones) all the way round - and traditionally follows the birth of the first child, I just think that 5/6 years after marriage it's not really a promise/agree to marriage ring which is what an engagement ring is, meaning wise.

*I also don't agree with the US trend of upgrading the ring, I think an engagement ring is a sign of what you both were at that point. But by all means have more rings in your collection.