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Lab grown diamond engagement ring vs natural?

Hi

For the first time in my life I’m looking at getting engaged and came across the lab grown diamond rings. They are obviously more cost effective and, depending on how you look at it, more ethical (a factor I’d like to consider). 

Would it be seen as ‘cheap’ to get one of these versus a traditional diamond ring? It’s difficult to ask my partner outright for obvious reasons but she’s generally a pretty socially conscious person. 

What’s the general consensus? 
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Comments

  • sammyjammy
    sammyjammy Posts: 7,724 Forumite
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    I think for many it would be the one time in their life that social conscience might not come first.  If its lab grown some people are likely to be able to tell so she not going to want ot show it off.  Why not get a joke ring or something to propose and then let her decide.
    "You've been reading SOS when it's just your clock reading 5:05 "
  • FlorayG
    FlorayG Posts: 827 Forumite
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    From the other 'side'...no, I wouldn't want a lab grown diamond, but I would be happy with a second hand ring.
    Lab grown seems to me to be negating the point of having a diamond in the first place and you can get a really nice 'preloved' ring for 1/3 of the retail new price
    Maybe ask her if she even wants a diamond? Given the option, I would choose a different stone
  • onomatopoeia99
    onomatopoeia99 Posts: 7,051 Forumite
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    FlorayG said:
    From the other 'side'...no, I wouldn't want a lab grown diamond, but I would be happy with a second hand ring.
    Lab grown seems to me to be negating the point of having a diamond in the first place and you can get a really nice 'preloved' ring for 1/3 of the retail new price
    Maybe ask her if she even wants a diamond? Given the option, I would choose a different stone
    What is the point of having a diamond in this context?
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • FlorayG
    FlorayG Posts: 827 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    FlorayG said:
    From the other 'side'...no, I wouldn't want a lab grown diamond, but I would be happy with a second hand ring.
    Lab grown seems to me to be negating the point of having a diamond in the first place and you can get a really nice 'preloved' ring for 1/3 of the retail new price
    Maybe ask her if she even wants a diamond? Given the option, I would choose a different stone
    What is the point of having a diamond in this context?
    Many years ago - in my parents day - it was considered that to 'show your intention' you would spend a month's salary on the engagement ring ( hence why my mother's diamond was absolutely tiny). So I just feel that if you're going to buy a lab grown one, you're 'cheating' by getting a larger diamond than you can really afford and it's showing off. The OP's question however is purely subjective, so I just gave my personal opinion. Because of the ethical considerations, I would get a preloved one
  • Mands
    Mands Posts: 801 Forumite
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    AdmanPea said:
    Hi

    For the first time in my life I’m looking at getting engaged and came across the lab grown diamond rings. They are obviously more cost effective and, depending on how you look at it, more ethical (a factor I’d like to consider). 

    Would it be seen as ‘cheap’ to get one of these versus a traditional diamond ring? It’s difficult to ask my partner outright for obvious reasons but she’s generally a pretty socially conscious person. 

    What’s the general consensus? 
    The general consensus doesn't matter here. Your girlfriend's preferences do.

    Some people think lab-grown are cool, some think the diamond trade is inherently unethical, some think small and understated is beautiful, some prefer sapphires or opals or titanium, some adore pre-loved. 

    If you have no idea on her opinions on any of that ^^ then buy a token ring and go shopping together for the real thing. 

    And ... congratulations :)
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,078 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    I wouldn't want someone to choose something so special for me without consulting me.
    It's something that is going to be worn every day (mine is) so the stone and design must be right.
    OP - why do you feel that you can't ask your intended? (no reasons are obvious to me).

    For my first engagement ring, I had a tourmaline with diamond chips. I still wear it occasionally.
    I love my solitaire .75 carat ring.

    If it was me, I would be looking to choose a diamond (check out the 4 C's) unset so you can see the whole stone and then have it set in a design of my choice.
    I've looked at lots of unset diamonds/sapphires, emeralds and rubies in various places in India and Sri Lanka 

    I referred my friend who wanted to buy a diamond ring for his wife's 40th birthday to a manufacturing jeweller in the nearby city.
    He was amazed at the whole experience from choosing the diamond and setting to collecting the finished article.

    I do understand the principles of buying lab-created diamonds (rubies, sapphires & emeralds are also created) but it is possible to buy a diamond that is not a 'blood diamond'.
  • Emmia
    Emmia Posts: 4,045 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Fourth Anniversary Photogenic Name Dropper
    Personally I think it's better to propose with an inexpensive ring, and then go together (if she accepts) to pick the real one. I had mine made custom, so I saw the diamond out of the setting. But I proposed, spur of the moment so there was no 'ring' involved.

    In the event I was to get engaged again (unlikely as I'm still married!) I'd probably pick a coloured stone and/or an antique/secondhand ring.
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