Teenagers Pocket Money

sheramber

My 12 year old grandson has a prepaid card.

He gets a set amount put on it each week and he can spend it as he wants. He cannot be trusted with money as he loves spending it. He buys things for his friends without a care, just to spend money.

He has a bank account with birthday/Xmas money in it but it is controlled by his parents. If he wants to buy something with that  the money is transferred to his card for him to buy it. It is not used for everyday spending.

strawb_shortcake

I've not given either of my children pocket money, whilst at secondary school they had a little job that earnt them £30 a month, and they had birthday/Christmas money and occasional hand outs from grandparents to learn budgeting. We have talked intensively about how to budget and the importance of saving.

My two eldest are both at uni, they generally make considered purchases, one has just set up a separate savings account for longer term savings.
The other works whilst at uni, they are fortunate to be able to work and have little outgoings, they have a pension, they were enrolled in their first proper job around 17. They are saving 50% of their earnings and 50% of their student loan, they are on track to have £21k saves by the end of uni for a house deposit.

Both of these also have child trust funds which they both independent chose to leave and almost forget about 

My youngest isn't quite as good and makes more spontaneous purchases, that said he forgets he has money and we need to remind him periodically that he should probably put some of that into his savings. 

After that longwinded post the key is more about education and communication, handing them pocket money is only a part of how they are with money

TheBanker

annabanana82 said:

I've not given either of my children pocket money, whilst at secondary school they had a little job that earnt them £30 a month, and they had birthday/Christmas money and occasional hand outs from grandparents to learn budgeting. We have talked intensively about how to budget and the importance of saving.

My two eldest are both at uni, they generally make considered purchases, one has just set up a separate savings account for longer term savings.
The other works whilst at uni, they are fortunate to be able to work and have little outgoings, they have a pension, they were enrolled in their first proper job around 17. They are saving 50% of their earnings and 50% of their student loan, they are on track to have £21k saves by the end of uni for a house deposit.

Both of these also have child trust funds which they both independent chose to leave and almost forget about 

My youngest isn't quite as good and makes more spontaneous purchases, that said he forgets he has money and we need to remind him periodically that he should probably put some of that into his savings. 

After that longwinded post the key is more about education and communication, handing them pocket money is only a part of how they are with money

I think your last sentence hits the nail on the head. It's all about learning to budget in my view. When I was young that was mainly with notes and coins and a moneybox - I did have a bank account but in those days there weren't debit cards. I also had a building society account with passbook, and I felt very grown up when my grandad took me to the Building Society to pay in my birthday money and get the book updated. And I reaped the benefits - that savings account paid for my driving lessons when I was 17, which opened the door to getting a better part time job while I was at college, which in turn helped me get through uni with less debt than I otherwise would have had.

I'm going to get the boy to talk to his mum again. I get the impression that he's desperate for a bit more independence - most of his friends have bank accounts and money to spend and I think he feels a bit left out. 

Sarahspangles

When I was a single parent I’d have been pretty grumpy if a boyfriend had coached one of my children to  challenge how I was raising them or spending my income. Sorry to be blunt but it doesn’t seem healthy.

bluelad1927

Our 13yr old gets £10 a month which normally builds up in his account  with birthday money etc, until he wants something that he wouldn't normally get like expensive  trainers.

On top of that he gets £5 when he goes out for an afternoon with his friends  normally 2-3 times a month. All in about 20-30 a month

He's extremely  appreciative  of what he gets and it's this rather than the cost that's most important to us

marcia_

Sarahspangles said:

When I was a single parent I’d have been pretty grumpy if a boyfriend had coached one of my children to  challenge how I was raising them or spending my income. Sorry to be blunt but it doesn’t seem healthy.

 I see where you are coming from but it doesnt say he coached him. He states the child came to him and the OP said "she decides and I'm not going to disagree with her approach,"

Sarahspangles

marcia_ said:

Sarahspangles said:

When I was a single parent I’d have been pretty grumpy if a boyfriend had coached one of my children to  challenge how I was raising them or spending my income. Sorry to be blunt but it doesn’t seem healthy.

 I see where you are coming from but it doesnt say he coached him. He states the child came to him and the OP said "she decides and I'm not going to disagree with her approach,"

Except he then says ‘I'm going to get the boy to talk to his mum again.’ Step-parenting is hard, I’ve got that t-shirt! I absolutely think partners get to have an opinion, but they need to share it with their partner, not undermine their approach.

OP, assuming you give your girlfriend’s son birthday or Christmas presents, you could agree - with her - that the next one will be cash and you’ll suggest he opens an account.

I do absolutely think an allowance and bank account is the way to go. It’s what I did with my own children. Even though it meant I had to pre-commit to an amount, I found I actually spent less (or rather they did) when it wasn’t ’bank of mum’. They had the equivalent of what is now the Nationwide FlexOne which pays a bit of interest, and includes a linked saving account currently paying 5%.

Another advantage of them having a bank account was that their dad could pay money to them directly.

gollygosh

mine got pocket money from both us and grandparents ( very generously) and they got really good at saving up for things, at the time it was mostly second hand games for handheld devices 😀. My son did impress my friend once with his money saviness, she gave him and two others £1 to buy something nice to have after dinner at her house when in the ‘big supermarket’ he came back with a five pack of doughnuts, a value packet of biscuits and a supermarket own brand bag of sweets whilst the others bought the bag of branded sweets, she told me later, I could tell he was yours 🤣

TheBanker

Sarahspangles said:

When I was a single parent I’d have been pretty grumpy if a boyfriend had coached one of my children to  challenge how I was raising them or spending my income. Sorry to be blunt but it doesn’t seem healthy.

I think you have mis-understood. He sometimes tells me things that are making him unhappy or worrying him. I always encourage him to talk to his mum about these things. I'm not coaching him into trying to manipulate her, just coaching him that if things are bothering him, his mum ought to know. Sometimes, his mum's approach is not the approach that I would be taking if he was my son, but he's not, so I am always careful not to contradict or undermine her. I have not told the lad whether I think he should have his own money or not, just that he ought to have a chat with his mum.

The lad has a habbit of botteling things up that are worrying him. Sometimes he chooses to talk to me rather than his mum. My guidence is always that he needs to talk to his mum about whatever it is, and he usually does and things usually work out ok. I am very careful not to express an opinion about how I think his mum should/will deal with the situation. 

[Deleted User]

Important to balance it that they are not spoilt or careless with money.