Redemption - The journey of a recovering gambling addict.

Lonelygambler

Thank you to the comments above. I will reply tomorrow in more detail. 

Making an overpayment of £130 to my NatWest card in the morning. 

LG

Lonelygambler

KeepOnKnitting said:

Sounds like a couple of big firsts yesterday. First real feeling of temptation, and you got through it. Have a good think about what made you tempted, how you felt, how you resisted temptation, and how you can do that again next time. The urge to gamble will come again, and you need to be ready with a plan of how to resist. Well done.

Other big first of really talking to your wife. I hope you are able to treat each other with kindness at the moment, and that you can move forward as a partnership while you work through the challenges you face to repair both finances and trust. Fingers crossed for you.

Thank you. When urged to gamble I am looking at my spreadsheet! 

It was an open conversation and a good start for a couple of 20+ years 

Lonelygambler

kezzygirl said:

Good luck lg. I too have a bit of an addiction to scratchcards and online scratchcards/slots. Things came to a head in January when I realised I had spent £500 in a month on various online establishments. I felt so ashamed and worthless. My husband knew I would gamble and I would only ever win the odd £20 here and there. The most I won was £160. I knew things had to change as it was my 'go to' when bored. Thinking I could just put another tenner on as, from my perspective, the money I had already paid would be building up to a big win. It never happened. I signed up to gamstop and instantly I was unable to gamble online. For a week or so I felt uncomfortable, had a 'crawling' feeling and urge, but the choice was taken out of my hands. I admit I still buy the odd scratchie in the shop, but only ever buy again with my winnings. I am not spending anywhere near what I was and as a consequence I have a better perspective of myself. 

I admit I still have the thought I 'could' win big, but it is more tempered with the thought that it is very, very, unlikely and therefore pointless. 

It's good to know the nhs provide gambling support services, and I'm glad you're getting help. Looking forward to following your process!

Admitting my addiction to my wife mum and best friend has been great for my mental health. 

I thought I could sustain it, and sadly the wins I was having meant if I hadn’t gone full tilt I would still be up and ok. However as a compulsive gambler it would always catch up on me. 

I hope you can control yours before it gets too much. Winning big did not help me at all! 

GL and thanks for popping by. 

Lonelygambler

New plan is simple. 

Save more for the boys on a monthly basis, I’m saving £50 month as all my credit card is 0%. 

Leaving me with about £475-500 a month. 

Giving myself a buffer of £125 a week to pay for anything that is needed. I am aiming for no spend weeks and on Mondays sending the £125 to the cards. 

LG 

Lonelygambler

£125 TSB Bonus paid out. 

Might switch to RBS to see if I can get £200

Lonelygambler

Can’t sleep. Child awake and on me. 

Feeling very low. So frustrating the situation I’m in, thankfully I have gamstop and Gamban so not able to gamble but could have easily deposited £2k tonight and played. 

I haven’t so that’s a positive 

18 days without a gamble 

FacelessNumber

Well done! You're doing a great job, 18 days is excellent!

KeepOnKnitting

Well done on managing those feelings of frustration and feeling low in a different way. How long did it take for the urge to pass?

You are doing so well.

Lonelygambler

Last night was rough. 

1 Year old not a good sleeper. Premature baby with various needs. 

However we got through it and today is a new day. 

Looking at nearly 17 days in a row without spending any money. The first time in a lifetime! I would have easily spent £3-4 a day on meal deals. 

I do think about money too much, obsessive I would think. Maybe CBT will help? 

FacelessNumber

I think over time it becomes more automatic, it's like anything you have to be conscious of it to start with. Hopefully you'll find that the constant thinking about it improves!

But if not CBT might help, I don't know enough about it to comment one way or another!