Redemption - The journey of a recovering gambling addict.

Lonelygambler

Heavy day today. Had my triage assessment regarding my addiction. Have been given the option of CBT which I will take up. 

NSD. 

So during work today I have a one hour initial meeting to discuss my gambling habits, history and general life. It was pretty intense, I was completely honest and discussed how much I believed I had lost gambling over the past 20+ years. I would estimate at least £10-12k winning around £6-7. 

Lots of reflection throughout. Hopefully the positive next step for me and the family.

MBMA DD comes out tomorrow for £50 - resulting in £0 in my account till Friday. 

Looking forward to making my first overpayment of £600 and getting this debt down. 

LG

Lonelygambler

NSD 

14 days gamble free 👍

Council tax going up 😔

HearThem

Well done! Keep posting and tracking your progress 🤩

Lonelygambler

Friday evening, both boys in bed. 

Feeling good with family and very flat with my budgeting. I have just checked my boys stocks and shares junior ISA's as they are doing well on Nutmeg sitting at just under £2,000. 

I've put away £550 for additional debt, going to see how the months goes and then pay off at the end. I am really hopefully I can do £500. 

Gambling urges have completely gone for the time being. I have been reading a lot in the evenings, although been working extra hard till like 10pm to keep busy. 

LG

Aimingforthegoodlife

You are making great steps. I think doing little goals which are easy and quick to achieve, helps the motivation and keeps the focus. I like doing a 'payment a day' (PAD), I move whatever, minimum of a pound and can be more, but it makes me feel like I am keeping momentum. Maybe have a little look over at the debt free challenges to see if any take your fancy.

FacelessNumber

Sounds like you're doing a great job, especially on not gambling, it's great to hear that you haven't had the urge to gamble too, that seems like significant progress.

Lonelygambler

I can’t say today has been easy, wishing I could win back that money quickly today. 

I can’t and I won’t but nearly 15 days on I really wanted to do a 2k blackjack hand. 

Absolutely crazy! I wouldn’t but interesting for a split second I was thinking about it. 

NSD for me. Went out for a great family day and made a great dinner which went down well. 

I’m thinking of having a £100 a week for spending and then on Sunday evening paying off the cards with what’s left rather than a big monthly payment. 

LG 

Lonelygambler

Update

First night me and the wife have really spoken since all the news came to light. 

We have come up with a different plan to drive some saving funds as well as living and cleaning debts. 

Will update my plan tomorrow. 

LG

KeepOnKnitting

Sounds like a couple of big firsts yesterday. First real feeling of temptation, and you got through it. Have a good think about what made you tempted, how you felt, how you resisted temptation, and how you can do that again next time. The urge to gamble will come again, and you need to be ready with a plan of how to resist. Well done.

Other big first of really talking to your wife. I hope you are able to treat each other with kindness at the moment, and that you can move forward as a partnership while you work through the challenges you face to repair both finances and trust. Fingers crossed for you.

kezzygirl

Good luck lg. I too have a bit of an addiction to scratchcards and online scratchcards/slots. Things came to a head in January when I realised I had spent £500 in a month on various online establishments. I felt so ashamed and worthless. My husband knew I would gamble and I would only ever win the odd £20 here and there. The most I won was £160. I knew things had to change as it was my 'go to' when bored. Thinking I could just put another tenner on as, from my perspective, the money I had already paid would be building up to a big win. It never happened. I signed up to gamstop and instantly I was unable to gamble online. For a week or so I felt uncomfortable, had a 'crawling' feeling and urge, but the choice was taken out of my hands. I admit I still buy the odd scratchie in the shop, but only ever buy again with my winnings. I am not spending anywhere near what I was and as a consequence I have a better perspective of myself. 

I admit I still have the thought I 'could' win big, but it is more tempered with the thought that it is very, very, unlikely and therefore pointless. 

It's good to know the nhs provide gambling support services, and I'm glad you're getting help. Looking forward to following your process!