Redemption - The journey of a recovering gambling addict.

Lonelygambler

HopefulRecovery said:

Hi LG,

I don’t know how I stumbled upon your diary but have read all the journey so far and it strongly resonates with me.

I have a gambling addiction which has ruined the lives of my family and me.

You had the strength to stop and should feel extremely proud of the last year. My story is an example of how things could have gone if you didn’t have the strength to stop.

My recovery began last Summer and despite one early blip I am 200 days gamble free.

A couple of days after I was served with a civil court order in July 2024, I was on the verge of taking my own life. My wife and family didn’t know about my addiction or the crime I had committed to fund my gambling until the court papers were hand delivered to me late that Friday evening in July last year.

I am grateful for the amazing organisations and people who have picked me up off the floor and for the support from my family who deserve better.

There is still so much uncertainty and a lot of suffering to come but I am not gambling and feel so much better for it. For years, my mood was defined by millimetres in a horse race or a controversial decision in a football match and my only concern was how I could fund my betting account. Any money I could access I would spend on gambling. I am ashamed to have stolen from my family and former employer.

Less than 12 years ago I was happy, ambitious and had just qualified as an accountant. I had the foundations to achieve good things in life. Instead, what has happened since I was allowed to remove a self-exclusion is years of destruction which finally exploded last Summer.

I am being pursued civilly and criminally and will go to prison for my crime making my wife and daughters homeless in the process. I am ashamed and embarrassed where gambling took me. I was never going to stop until I reached rock bottom, and I wish I’d shown the strength and motivation you have shown over the last year to beat gambling. Well done!! I know what an achievement it is!!!

Thanks for stopping by. I am sorry to hear your journey has been tough. This disease is awful for all involved. There are no words I can offer apart from saying I am here for you. 

Gamfam is a great charity and one I attend every week. 

LG. 

Lonelygambler

KeepOnKnitting said:

More important than the money, did you have a fun time with your friends?

I think in 2024 you really made an impact on your debt too, don't discount all the hard work you did and what you achieved last year.

Thank you! 

Lonelygambler

New_in_the_fens said:

Getting through every day (and the longest month of the year) with no gambling and no new debt is such an awesome achievement! 

It’s ok to just ‘get by’, but the reality is that you are a significantly different person to the one you were a year ago. That doesn’t happen by accident, or with no effort. 

You have worked consistently every day for almost a year to get to this point. Your resilience, commitment to your family, and your desire to put this all firmly in the past deserves huge kudos.

i have no idea who you are, but i am so proud of you and what you’ve achieved. Keep going, one day at a time 💪🏻

Cara_ said:

You've done really well during this past year to stop gambling, pay down your debt and your relationship with your wife has improved. That is a huge achievement - good luck for 2025.

~FlowerPot~ said:

Well done in getting the mnba into the 2s
2024 was also a year with huge progress. 
You have done so well. Be proud of what you have achieved. 
I hope you had a good weekend

Flowers

bubblycrazy said:

Hope things are continuing to go well LG. 

Thank you all. 

HampshireH

Your progress has been brilliant and should be celebrated. There is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there. Then when there starts being surplus again your new challenge will be finding safe ways to spend it.

New passports? Have your booked a trip? That's something to look forward to if so

OldTimer2023

Ahh mate, I know exactly how you feel.

Some days it really gets me down, and I guess I maybe don't have the same level of addiction, so I can't fully empathise, but society these days seems to be constantly pushing us to want more and more and more, and it's pretty damn f'ed up, in my opinion.

Even when I'm daydreaming about my debt free date, I then start thinking about all the things that I want to buy, and the wheel just keeps on turning (probably quite literally for me, I've got a thing for all things 2 and 4-wheeled haha).

Anyway, main point of this message being you are absolutely not alone in this.

You're doing an amazing job, and better days are coming, I promise.

Take care of yourself and, hey, there's nothing wrong with giving yourself a bit of a break if you feel like you need to give yourself a little treat in order to get yourself over the finishing line.  Absolutely nothing wrong with delaying your debt-free date by a month or two if doing so gives you a greater chance of getting there in the long run.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

One day at a time.

You'll get there, we all will 

Spendless

Hi - I usually lurk not sure I've posted on your diary before. Like others I think you doing well re your gambling addiction.

As for the feeling you're' 'treading water' on the debt. I felt exactly the same way when busting mine and others on my diary told me this was quite a usual feeling. The initial momentum has gone but the final line is too far away to see. I can't quite remember suggestions made to me during the time but the knowledge that was normal and not just me feeling this way helped. Think about how far you've come rather than how far you've got left. Some mini goals might help too.

Good luck - you'll get there. 

mark55man

Hi LG - the boredom - meh'ness of debt busting is not just you.  It always kicks in and usually at about the year spot.  Its why I counsel slow (but not too slow) as the better route rather than trying to always be pushing hard.  You've done 95% of the hard work by starting the journey (both journeys in fact) so don't beat yourself up if you take a couple of months longer than you think you should.  Also as you get near to the end you have to think about how you are going to cope without the debt busting.  I'm sure I'm stating the obvious hear but this might challenge you more than most.  So you need to develop a strategy for savings or pensions or mortgage free.  But with a little but more of extra spends on treats and holidays for the family 

Lonelygambler

HampshireH said:

Your progress has been brilliant and should be celebrated. There is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there. Then when there starts being surplus again your new challenge will be finding safe ways to spend it.

New passports? Have your booked a trip? That's something to look forward to if so

Family trip to Ireland and my wife has a few trips booked in. 

Thank you for checking in. I read every comment. 

Lonelygambler

OldTimer2023 said:

Ahh mate, I know exactly how you feel.

Some days it really gets me down, and I guess I maybe don't have the same level of addiction, so I can't fully empathise, but society these days seems to be constantly pushing us to want more and more and more, and it's pretty damn f'ed up, in my opinion.

Even when I'm daydreaming about my debt free date, I then start thinking about all the things that I want to buy, and the wheel just keeps on turning (probably quite literally for me, I've got a thing for all things 2 and 4-wheeled haha).

Anyway, main point of this message being you are absolutely not alone in this.

You're doing an amazing job, and better days are coming, I promise.

Take care of yourself and, hey, there's nothing wrong with giving yourself a bit of a break if you feel like you need to give yourself a little treat in order to get yourself over the finishing line.  Absolutely nothing wrong with delaying your debt-free date by a month or two if doing so gives you a greater chance of getting there in the long run.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

One day at a time.

You'll get there, we all will 

Thank you for your comment. Things will get easier as this year goes on, I should free up another £500 a month by September which will massively help. 

Dealing with addiction is definitely a marathon. On the car home I thought about joining a crpyto casino and placing £1k hands. Thankfully I realised how stupid that would be. 

I am giving myself a mealdeal on a friday as a treat. he he he. 

Lonelygambler

Spendless said:

Hi - I usually lurk not sure I've posted on your diary before. Like others I think you doing well re your gambling addiction.

As for the feeling you're' 'treading water' on the debt. I felt exactly the same way when busting mine and others on my diary told me this was quite a usual feeling. The initial momentum has gone but the final line is too far away to see. I can't quite remember suggestions made to me during the time but the knowledge that was normal and not just me feeling this way helped. Think about how far you've come rather than how far you've got left. Some mini goals might help too.

Good luck - you'll get there. 

mark55man said:

Hi LG - the boredom - meh'ness of debt busting is not just you.  It always kicks in and usually at about the year spot.  Its why I counsel slow (but not too slow) as the better route rather than trying to always be pushing hard.  You've done 95% of the hard work by starting the journey (both journeys in fact) so don't beat yourself up if you take a couple of months longer than you think you should.  Also as you get near to the end you have to think about how you are going to cope without the debt busting.  I'm sure I'm stating the obvious hear but this might challenge you more than most.  So you need to develop a strategy for savings or pensions or mortgage free.  But with a little but more of extra spends on treats and holidays for the family 

Cheers both. 

LG