Foster Mum needs legal help, can you help?

blue_monkey_2

Just to ask something else, when the child was originally fostered (and I'll admit to knowing nothing about this) would the chance for the child to stay in the family (with aunts, uncles, etc...) be a first choice or do they remove the child and that is it?

i wonder if it is a progression thing, 2 years is a long time and maybe the aunt (or uncle) has got married, have a child of their own and now feel they can offer a secure home for the child. It's just a thought.

But OP if you don't tell SS you would like a chance to adopt the biy then they'll never know.

In regard to the smoking, yes, being astmatic myself I do feel it IS an issue that needs to be addresses. If the child is seriously ill in a non-smoking household this can only be made worse by going into a smoky atmosphere (it does for me and my asthma is under control with medication - even going into somewhere that people have smoked is enough to get me wheezing).

The boys GP may also have a note of the number of times the little boy has been to hospital as the hospitals pass this info over - they even knew when I had called NHS Direct, I think all their systems are linked somehow (maybe, just going on experience).

Bossyboots

newty428 wrote: »

I will try to keep this brief:

We have fostered a gorgeous boy since he was 5 weeks old. He is now nearly two. He is unable to go back to his parents and an auntie & uncle has come forward. He is supposed to be moving to them on a special guardianship order at the beginning of Feb. I am so concerned, baby suffers with asthma and I am up the hospital at least every 5-6 weeks, sometimes having to stay over. Both Uncle and Auntie (and her son) are very heavy smokers. She also works full time so baby will have to go into full time nursery. I don't feel this is ideal but more than that we just love him so much. He calls me mum and my husband dad and is so attached to us (and us to him). Someone told me that if you foster a child for longer than a year, you can apply to keep them, Is this true?? Does anyone have any experience with these cases?
I've tried to speak to my S/W but I would prefer to have some legal advice before I start to throw my weight around, if you know what I mean.
I would really appreciate your help
x

I have read what some have described as harsh responses here, but they do fall true. As foster parents, you are caring for a child until a permanent family is found for them. You seem to have got far too involved with this child. Is he the first one you have fostered?

Someone mentioned getting the child his own advocate. There are two points in relation to that. Firstly, as the foster carer you have no authority to do so. Secondly, within the care proceedings relating to the child he will have already been appointed his own solicitor and a guardian who is independent from all other parties.

You don't say whether the proceedings are ongoing or if it is just placement issues now being settled. If there is a special guardianship order in place, then it sounds as though the proceedings are completed.

You have no say over the placement of the child and its suitability. While you have clearly done an excellent job with this child (apart from allowing him to call you mum and dad. You should have been given advice on how to avoid that happening) and been very dedicated, social services have clearly approved the family placement and you have given no explanation as to why you think any other carers for him won't be able to manage as well as you can.

I am surprised that he is going to a family of smokers and I am wondering whether the delay in being placed with them is because of this issue. It would be a concern of social services that they smoke but if an SGO is in place, then clearly a court has decided they are suitable.

However, I am wondering whether the SGO is to be granted in Feb as this overrides any other orders and the child should be placed with those carers who would be the ones with parental responsibility. Is there actually an order or have you just been told that the plans are for an SGO and the child to move to these carers? There are so many whys and wherefores in this sort of case that it is hard to generalise but I am trying to think through all angles without writing a dissertation.

If the final order hasn't been made, then you could apply for an SGO yourselves or even adoption. You however have no automatic right to this and where others have asked the question why have the family only just come forward (and there are many possible explanations for the current situation), I have to ask why you didn't raise the possibility of him staying with you before. If you do not want an SGO or adoption, you will need to be approved as long term foster carers. However, children of this age are suitable for adoption and it would be a rare situation indeed for a child in this age span to be placed with non-family long term carers.

I strongly suggest that you do not start throwing your weight around. You have no legal basis to do so. Indeed, you are at risk of having your suitability as foster carers questioned. You don't seem to know enough about fostering and you have become too attached to a child. While I can understand that theory and practice are usually wide apart, you need to tread carefully at this stage.

I have tried to summarise as best I can how the situation may work. Obviously the whole details of his case are confidential but if there is anything else pertinent that you can say, then maybe there is a different avenue open that isn't immediately clear from your posts here. However, I think I have covered all angles.

Bossyboots

blue_monkey wrote: »

Just to ask something else, when the child was originally fostered (and I'll admit to knowing nothing about this) would the chance for the child to stay in the family (with aunts, uncles, etc...) be a first choice or do they remove the child and that is it?

i wonder if it is a progression thing, 2 years is a long time and maybe the aunt (or uncle) has got married, have a child of their own and now feel they can offer a secure home for the child. It's just a thought.

But OP if you don't tell SS you would like a chance to adopt the biy then they'll never know.

In regard to the smoking, yes, being astmatic myself I do feel it IS an issue that needs to be addresses. If the child is seriously ill in a non-smoking household this can only be made worse by going into a smoky atmosphere (it does for me and my asthma is under control with medication - even going into somewhere that people have smoked is enough to get me wheezing).

The boys GP may also have a note of the number of times the little boy has been to hospital as the hospitals pass this info over - they even knew when I had called NHS Direct, I think all their systems are linked somehow (maybe, just going on experience).

By the time things get to this time frame, the parents will have been fully assessed. The potential carers will have been subject initially to a viability assessment and if that was positive, a full assessment of them, their family and their way of life. This will include a discussion about smoking and the risks to the child and also how they will cope if the natural parents seek contact or make things difficult. Therefore, the aunt and uncle will have had to jump through the required hoops to get themselves approved to care for this child. Social services will be well aware of the child's health needs and hospital stays. The foster carer should actually be reporting hospital stays themselves in any event.

Sometimes family carers are assessed at the same time as the parents. It may well be that this particular aunt and uncle failed the viability assessment but have put right things that were wrong at that time. There are just so many paths this case could have taken to get to this stage.

However, it is not the case that social services simply decide or select someone for the child to be with. They have family finding specialists and then the permanency and adoption panel have to approve them as well. If proceedings are ongoing then the child's own guardian will have met the prospective carers and can offer an opinion. That guardian will also have seen all the paperwork in relation to the child, including the assessments of the potential carers.

The general principle is that a child should always be placed with family members but sometimes that is not immediately possible. A child could be removed immediately and placed in foster care for one night or more, while extended family are sought out. One consideration though is whether the extended family can and are willing to protect the infant from their parents. If there is any chance of that not happening, then the child remains in foster care. It is very hard for a grandparent, sibling, aunt or uncle to agree to cut off ties with the child's parents, but that in effect will be what needs to happen in most cases for a child to be placed within the family.

As said above, each case follows its own path so what might happen in one case will not happen in another.

blue_monkey_2

Thanks BB. Until you posted your 1st reply I did not read the initial post properly, I did not realise that the SGO has been agreed, I thought it was just that an aunt and uncle had come forward and I was trying to make sure that the OP did all she could. It is easier to understand now I have read your post.

Zara33

gk 172 a few questions if you don't mind.

You say you foster your grandson, did you go through the fostering process?

The reason i'm asking this is if you haven't you are classed as a kinship carer and you get an allowance for being a kinship carer.

Also when you get full parental rights and responsibilites along with a residence order you loose the allowance for a kinship carer...but you get a residence allowance.

I hope you don't think i'm being nosey as this is not the case, been through this with my nephew.

Ophie

Janepig wrote: »

I can't see that the fact that the aunty and uncle (and son) smoke and that she works full time are reasons why they would not make good guardians for the child. Plenty of good parents do both and SS don't remove their own children from their care for those reasons (iykwim). I would like to think that they've thought of these things and how they might address them before coming forward as potential guardians.

However, I do think that it would be cruel on the child to be removed from your care after so long with you and I think that for that reason you have a good case. I'm also left wondering why this aunty and uncle are only coming forward now, and not when the child was first removed from his parents. If you have a good relationship with a social worker it may be a good idea to have an informal chat, or failing that get some advice from a family law solicitor.

I wish you luck!

Jxx

Jane

My daughter moved to me when she was 20 months old after having been with her foster carer since she came out of hospital at 3 weeks old. Is that cruel too? For her to come in to be part of my family and the centre of attention? I don't see that being moved to be part of a family, particularly a member of your birth family is cruel no matter how old you are unless you are going to be abused in that situation. Since becoming part of my family my daughter has blossomed to the point of when I sent a photo of her to the foster carers they didn't recognise her.

Sometimes family aren't approached when children are first removed from their parents care and it may take a long time to go through court system to get the child to return to it's birth family. So I wouldn't be too hard on the extended birth family.

There is an issue with smoking as to be approved as an adopter for a child 2 or under you have to not smoke, a child with asthma is more likely to suffer as a result of smoking. Those that foster children under this age are unable to smoke too. As an adopter you really are only deemed suitable to adopt teenagers if you smoke.

To the Foster Carers, as far as I am aware you can apply to adopt the child after they have been with you for over a year at the age the child is. However, you will need to be assessed as an adopter and will have to be matched to the child, but if the birth family is a better match you may still loose out. But to strengthen your case you do need to write down how many visits to the hospital you have and what treatment the child received and how they were when they came out of hospital and what if anything trigger the asthma off.

Good luck OP

gk172

Zara33 wrote: »

gk 172 a few questions if you don't mind.

You say you foster your grandson, did you go through the fostering process?

The reason i'm asking this is if you haven't you are classed as a kinship carer and you get an allowance for being a kinship carer.

Also when you get full parental rights and responsibilites along with a residence order you loose the allowance for a kinship carer...but you get a residence allowance.

I hope you don't think i'm being nosey as this is not the case, been through this with my nephew.

Im not sure where in the process we are, he lives with us and has done since 7 months, we were told we would get a carers allowance but when it came down to it we didnt as they wanted a complete list of our incoming and outgoings which we felt was none of thier business and we dont have parental rights they are still with his mum which can be a bit frustrating and to take things further will cost thousands as we will get no help with that either:mad: There was in the paper an article that hopefully come april/may there will be allowances paid to family members who foster so fingers crossed on that.

Morglin

I think that even with the new allowances (if they happen), they will still need to know about finances etc;

It's a nuisance, but is supposed to ensure that help is targeted to those who need it most.

Lin

Janepig

Ophie - I used the term "cruel" in that taking what the OP says at face value, ie, they've had the child for so long and in the OP's view the aunty and uncle would be "unsuitable", then imo that would be cruel. However, I know as well as anyone how adaptable children are, and also that adoptions take place not just of babies, but of older children too, involving a period of adjustment for the child, but obviously for the long term good of the child.

And once again trying to explain what I meant about smokers - I'm aware that whilst it's difficult/impossible to foster or adopt if you're a smoker, it doesn't make you an "unsuitable" parent (and btw I'm not a smoker, never have been). Just as working full time doesn't (as mentioned by the OP). Hope that finally clarifies what I meant.

Jxx

Ophie

Yup Jane all clear. Cheers for clearing that up.

Just felt a bit put out at the cruel comment, but now you have explained it all good.