Foster Mum needs legal help, can you help?

newty428

I will try to keep this brief:

We have fostered a gorgeous boy since he was 5 weeks old. He is now nearly two. He is unable to go back to his parents and an auntie & uncle has come forward. He is supposed to be moving to them on a special guardianship order at the beginning of Feb. I am so concerned, baby suffers with asthma and I am up the hospital at least every 5-6 weeks, sometimes having to stay over. Both Uncle and Auntie (and her son) are very heavy smokers. She also works full time so baby will have to go into full time nursery. I don't feel this is ideal but more than that we just love him so much. He calls me mum and my husband dad and is so attached to us (and us to him). Someone told me that if you foster a child for longer than a year, you can apply to keep them, Is this true?? Does anyone have any experience with these cases?
I've tried to speak to my S/W but I would prefer to have some legal advice before I start to throw my weight around, if you know what I mean.
I would really appreciate your help
x

beverleyhills

Sorry that I cannot be of any assistance. I was wondering whether you can write down the times you have visited the hospital and put it together with any other relevant information you may have, in preparation for your case.

Social Services have to take into account what is in the best interest of the child.

Savvy_Sue

While CAB might be able to help, I really think you need to find a solicitor who specialises in such issues. You could start by phoning round a few firms and asking if they have a partner who specialises in adoption / fostering cases. While the interests of the child should always be paramount, it's not always clear cut and blood relatives often seem to carry more weight than foster carers.

But good advice from beverleyhills.

Janepig

I can't see that the fact that the aunty and uncle (and son) smoke and that she works full time are reasons why they would not make good guardians for the child. Plenty of good parents do both and SS don't remove their own children from their care for those reasons (iykwim). I would like to think that they've thought of these things and how they might address them before coming forward as potential guardians.

However, I do think that it would be cruel on the child to be removed from your care after so long with you and I think that for that reason you have a good case. I'm also left wondering why this aunty and uncle are only coming forward now, and not when the child was first removed from his parents. If you have a good relationship with a social worker it may be a good idea to have an informal chat, or failing that get some advice from a family law solicitor.

I wish you luck!

Jxx

JoJoB

The fact that the aunty and uncle are both heavy smokers is a relevant issue since it would impact on the health of the child, particularly where asthma is concerned. Being a smoker doesn't make you a bad parent, but it certainly counts against you if you are applying to be a foster carer. They may claim to not smoke in the house or around the children, but many smokers get a bit lazy on this issue (especially if it's cold/rainy outside!).

newty428

With regards to the smoking, I know it doesn't make you a bad parent, my only concern is for baby's health. I have been to the hospital so many times with him and seen him in so much pain, I would hate to think of it getting worse. I think I need to speak a solicitor to see where we stand. I am going to contact the hospital to see if they will print off how many times I have been to A&E with him and then I can present all this information to the S/W.

Thanks for your replies.

Janepig

JoJoB wrote: »

The fact that the aunty and uncle are both heavy smokers is a relevant issue since it would impact on the health of the child, particularly where asthma is concerned. Being a smoker doesn't make you a bad parent, but it certainly counts against you if you are applying to be a foster carer. They may claim to not smoke in the house or around the children, but many smokers get a bit lazy on this issue (especially if it's cold/rainy outside!).

But there are many children (with or without asthma) whose parents smoke - SS don't remove those children. But I agree it should be a consideration regardless of the child's health - it's just not very pleasant - both my parents were heavy smokers and how I've still got functioning lungs is nothing short of a miracle!!

Jxx

play2day

These help lines can help you:

Confidential Care - A free and confidential information , support and counselling service for carers & prospective adopters. Open 24/7 365 days a year.
0800 085 1376

Also Fosterline - the foster carers advice line - 0800 040 7675

My personal advice: GET THE CHILD AN INDEPENDANT ADVOCATE NOW!

Zara33

What a horrible position to be in.
As another poster has stated why has it taken the blood relatives so long in coming forward to care for this child
You really do need some expert legal advice on this situation as i suspect it will be a minefield of "if's" and "but's"

Good Luck and if you are able to please keep us updated thanks.

JoJoB

Janepig wrote: »

But there are many children (with or without asthma) whose parents smoke - SS don't remove those children.

No they don't, but this is an aunt and uncle we are talking about here - and essentially taking over the role of foster carers. And it is a lot more difficult to become an approved foster carer than it is a parent, ironically! There are loads of things that can rule you out of being a foster carer that parents can do no problem. I was ruled out on the grounds that I lived in a second floor flat, for instance! While SS won't remove my own child for living in a second floor flat they won't actually place a foster child with me!

the_devil_made_me_do_it

Regardless of whether the family concerned smoke or not, the child should go back to the natural family as long as the child is in no danger of physical or mental abuse. As foster carers, you are well aware that whether you fall in love with the child or not, you still have to hand the child back to the natural family or adopters (whichever case applies). It is very unhealthy, when fostering, to feel the way you do about a child in your care. Your aim should be to re-unite natural family where possible. A child can stay in foster care for a long period of time and the foster carers are still expected to hand the child back if suitable circumstances arise. Sorry, but I can't empathise with you. If you find it hard not to get so attached, then maybe you shouldn't have signed up to become foster carers in the first place.