Foster Mum needs legal help, can you help?

pavlovs_dog

Ophie wrote: »

Jane Since becoming part of my family my daughter has blossomed to the point of when I sent a photo of her to the foster carers they didn't recognise her.

aww any chance we can have another pic of your gorgeous little girlie? be lovely to see how she is getting on xx

newty428

I would like to thank everyone for their comments on this post. I have spoken to baby's S/W and we have decided to sit down with the A & U to reiterate how poorly baby gets (and how quickly an attack comes on) so they will know how to respond. I'm not saying that they are stupid, its just good to know the signs in advance. There is no history of asthma in my family so I wasn't aware of how quickly an attack can come on. I have also been told that they are making attempts to give up smoking, so that is good.

Whilst I appreciate some peoples comments, others, I found hard to swallow. Just because you are caring for someone else's child, doesn't mean you can't fall in love with them. Some children have had the worst start in life ever and its hard not to over compensate for that by offering love and security. So to tell me that I am probably not a good foster carer is hurtful and unnecessary. I have been fostering for a couple of years, but I know foster carers who have been fostering for years who still break down when a child leaves them. My S/W and the child's S/W know how I feel about this baby and they initially asked us if we would be interested in adopting him. His family then came along and we were sidelined, so maybe that is why it has been so hard to accept. But I know it is best for the child to stay within his family and I hope that we will be able to keep in contact with his new family to find out how he is getting on.

I'm going to continue to treat any child that comes into my home as a member of my family, children need loving homes, to feel part of a family and to be looked after by human beings, not robots!

findingmyownway

I'm not suprised you have fallen in love with him - i dont think anyone could care for a baby for 2 years and not!

I would be gutted if anything happened to my OH and i lost contact with my stepdaughters. You dont have to be a biological parent to love a child as your own.

Good luck!

mary43

I;m a foster carer myself so have every sympathy. I care for teenagers from around 14 till they leave for independance or, in some cases return to their family.
Some of them I get really attached too,it's only natural, after all we are human beings. Those with no family to support them remain as part of our extended family should they choose, once they have left. I go on supporting them where I can as after 18 they have little help from SS and at 21 thats it.
After 17 years of caring I've seen many changes, some good some not so good and in some areas I think the authorities lose sight of the children and whats best for them, the very people they are supposed to care for.
In the case mentioned, when it's discussed with the aunt and uncle maybe gradual introductions will be made to them.............if not they should be in order that a child so young gets used to different people and maybe, if this move goes ahead, the aunt and uncle will allow you to keep in touch with birthday cards, christmas etc.

Fostering is not an easy task...........one the one hand we have to care otherwise we wouldnt do it. On the other hand theres a fine line between caring and caring too much.

I wish you good luck. Sorry I can't help more

In_Search_Of_Me

Bossyboots wrote: »

You however have no automatic right to this and where others have asked the question why have the family only just come forward (and there are many possible explanations for the current situation), I have to ask why you didn't raise the possibility of him staying with you before. If you do not want an SGO or adoption, you will need to be approved as long term foster carers. However, children of this age are suitable for adoption and it would be a rare situation indeed for a child in this age span to be placed with non-family long term carers.

I strongly suggest that you do not start throwing your weight around. You have no legal basis to do so. Indeed, you are at risk of having your suitability as foster carers questioned. You don't seem to know enough about fostering and you have become too attached to a child. While I can understand that theory and practice are usually wide apart, you need to tread carefully at this stage.

I have tried to summarise as best I can how the situation may work. Obviously the whole details of his case are confidential but if there is anything else pertinent that you can say, then maybe there is a different avenue open that isn't immediately clear from your posts here. However, I think I have covered all angles.

Bossy boots...
Reading that I am more than a little seething as you are (1) judgemental & (b) incorrect in what you have said. If you insist on spouting legislation at people at least get the facts right! :mad:

OP
To be brief I would get yourself a solicitor and seek urgent legal advise. As the child has been living with you for over a year you are legally entitled to apply. What you need to do is be honest about why you want to keep this child - is it your heart ruing your head? Would it be better for him to be placed away from the area. If you apply there will be more delay for him as you would have to be assessed & the fact that he has been with you for 2 years would make a difference in terms of his attachement to you...How far is the SGO application in? Have you discussed the situation with your linkworker and what was the LA response? Courts have to consider the needs of the child and will make a final order about his future. However PLEASE dont post any details on here - while appreciating your dilemma this is a confidential situation & should be treated as such and I
suggest that you discuss this with your linkworker & solicitor as a matter of priority rather than discussing further on here.

NB red bits are highlighted to demonstrate areas where OP demonstrates that she doesent know what she is talking about & I would question whether she has read the Children Act or ACCA 2002....If bossy boots hasnt I suggest she does before she spouts more inaccuracies!

In_Search_Of_Me

gk172 wrote: »

Im not sure where in the process we are, he lives with us and has done since 7 months, we were told we would get a carers allowance but when it came down to it we didnt as they wanted a complete list of our incoming and outgoings which we felt was none of thier business and we dont have parental rights they are still with his mum which can be a bit frustrating and to take things further will cost thousands as we will get no help with that either:mad: There was in the paper an article that hopefully come april/may there will be allowances paid to family members who foster so fingers crossed on that.

You should be entitled to a kinship payment under "child in need" payments - he LA have a duty to proivde financial support - suggest you put a request in writing to the LA but you will need to provide details of income/expenditure so the choice is yours on whether you want the money! Lots of red tape in SSD in case you didnt know that already!

In_Search_Of_Me

newty428 wrote: »

I'm going to continue to treat any child that comes into my home as a member of my family, children need loving homes, to feel part of a family and to be looked after by human beings, not robots!

Some people are just ignorant & dont know what they are talking about so sort the wheat from the chaff & love on! Hugs for ya!

ann410

hi, i find it some what strange that you are so in the dark,
a looked after child have a statutory review every 6 months, so you must of had at least 4 reviews for this child, you would of been given consultations papers (booklet) for the child and one for foster carer. you would of filled out the child's, and you would of filled in your own papers, sighed, and passed them on to reviewing officer at the child's review.
IT SAYS QUITE CLEARLY ON THIS PAPPER WORK.

DO YOU KNOW THAT UNDER THE CHILDREN'S ACT 1989, YOU HAVE THE FOLLOWING RIGHTS.
IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES FOSTER CARERS CAN APPLY FOR SECTION 8
(RESIDENCE OF CHILDREN/YOUNG PEOPLE THEY HAVE LOOKED AFTER.

i have been a foster carer for a number of years, and if family members can provide the care needed for the child's, it is in the childs best interest to be out of the care system.
also i also have children of my own that call me mum, and over the years i have had 4 babies staying with us from birth- age 18 months, they were always corrected when i was addressed as mum. as harsh as it sounds it is unfair for the child to have to say goodbye to yet another mum and dad. hope it all works out well.