Any Success stories? Everything finally sorted after family "go rogue"

Sea_Shell

@Pennylane

Thinking about this further, I'm assuming that throughout this, you held any estate funds that were released without probate.

So it wasn't so much a battle to get money from someone else, but to obtain probate?

SVaz

My Sister was an utter nightmare after our Dad died, we were joint executors and beneficiaries and she just didn’t want to do anything like sorting things out / clearing the house etc.
It took 6 months to market the house because she was “looking into’ buying me out, which never happened -  up to her it would still be sitting there full of all Dad’s stuff.
Dad had mentioned changing his will to include (adult) Grandkids but became too ill to do it.
I offered a deed of variation which in effect meant that she and her 2 Sons got more of the ‘pot’  than me and my Daughter but she wouldn’t have it, she saw it as not getting her half.   

It all worked out in the end but our relationship will never be the same,  she was quite vile at times. 

Spendless

SVaz said:

My Sister was an utter nightmare after our Dad died, we were joint executors and beneficiaries and she just didn’t want to do anything like sorting things out / clearing the house etc.
It took 6 months to market the house because she was “looking into’ buying me out, which never happened -  up to her it would still be sitting there full of all Dad’s stuff.
Dad had mentioned changing his will to include (adult) Grandkids but became too ill to do it.
I offered a deed of variation which in effect meant that she and her 2 Sons got more of the ‘pot’  than me and my Daughter but she wouldn’t have it, she saw it as not getting her half.   

It all worked out in the end but our relationship will never be the same,  she was quite vile at times. 

I'm going to guess that your proposal was 20% each, so your sisters 'side' received 60% and your 'side'  40%. I'm with your sister on that one, the Grandkids were adults any money they received was theirs not a communal  household pot, so sis was being asked to reduce her share from 50% to 20%. The rest of it I completely understand your frustration. 

AfterMum

SVaz said:

My Sister was an utter nightmare after our Dad died, we were joint executors and beneficiaries and she just didn’t want to do anything like sorting things out / clearing the house etc.
It took 6 months to market the house because she was “looking into’ buying me out, which never happened -  up to her it would still be sitting there full of all Dad’s stuff.
Dad had mentioned changing his will to include (adult) Grandkids but became too ill to do it.
I offered a deed of variation which in effect meant that she and her 2 Sons got more of the ‘pot’  than me and my Daughter but she wouldn’t have it, she saw it as not getting her half.   

It all worked out in the end but our relationship will never be the same,  she was quite vile at times. 

I am in exactly the same situation. Sister trying to delay sorting through mum's things and selling the house 

SVaz

My proposal was ‘thirds’ so 33% me, 33% her and 33% split between the 3 grandchildren.  

  Afterwards, I gifted my Daughter 30% of my half.  Sister hasn’t let on if she’s gifted her two anything.  

Sea_Shell

SVaz said:

My proposal was ‘thirds’ so 33% me, 33% her and 33% split between the 3 grandchildren.  

  Afterwards, I gifted my Daughter 30% of my half.  Sister hasn’t let on if she’s gifted her two anything.  

That seems like an entirely fair offer to me.   Yes, her personal share would have reduced from 50% to 33%, but then her children would benefit directly too.   Overall, as a family, they would end up with 55% of the estate (33+11+11)

I too wonder if she ever passed on anything to her children.    Was she in a position to have done so, or did she need every past penny to pay off debt, or for a deposit for a house etc. ?

I'm guessing she wanted the money for her children to come from YOUR half!!    If she wanted them to get something but not at the expense of HER half!!   -   The cheek!!  

Glad it worked out in the end.

Sea_Shell

AfterMum said:

SVaz said:

My Sister was an utter nightmare after our Dad died, we were joint executors and beneficiaries and she just didn’t want to do anything like sorting things out / clearing the house etc.
It took 6 months to market the house because she was “looking into’ buying me out, which never happened -  up to her it would still be sitting there full of all Dad’s stuff.
Dad had mentioned changing his will to include (adult) Grandkids but became too ill to do it.
I offered a deed of variation which in effect meant that she and her 2 Sons got more of the ‘pot’  than me and my Daughter but she wouldn’t have it, she saw it as not getting her half.   

It all worked out in the end but our relationship will never be the same,  she was quite vile at times. 

I am in exactly the same situation. Sister trying to delay sorting through mum's things and selling the house 

I've just read your thread       Sorry to hear you're going through this.   
 
I've bookmarked your thread, so please update it if you get a chance. 

Sea_Shell

No success stories to report?

So many threads left hanging... fingers crossed they are successfully resolved.

badmemory

Not a success story as such but my sibling & I don't agree on much.  Fortunately we do agree on what is right & the thought to either of us that my mothers death would mean one of us would "get more" never occurred.  The fact that I have a child & she doesn't was irrelevant.  It is only reading this that it even occurred to me that it could be used.  Makes me grateful to be part of "us".  I would just like to say how sorry I am that people are having to go through all this.  It must be the stuff of nightmares.

Ganga

Sea_Shell said:

No success stories to report?

So many threads left hanging... fingers crossed they are successfully resolved.

I used to follow a thread on this site where a young girl was left an inheritance but could not get one of the relatives to release the money , ( people were saying the family member had spent the money ) the thread went on or a long time but cannot remember what the final outcome was