Missy’s full time working mum juggling act MF adventure

missymoo81

Hey @jwil thanks for jogging my memory to post. Sooo update, still worried  about my job, business sale fell through and OH is in the midst of a nervous breakdown and is depressed. Home life is not amazing at the moment but trying to muddle through. Meant to be going away for a week or so for a cheap holiday to France on Saturday but I’m not sure on OHs mental state. Children are currently away with their dad

Asked another potential buyer re business and think she may say no. So not sure what happens then, if we wrap up business would have to find money for business associated loans and unused customer memberships. 

Won’t know until the end of the year about my job. Just wish our mortgage was smaller. I have a huge tax bill to pay on Wednesday which will take all savings and most of wage this month.

In other news, I have been trying to do things for me. Me and OH have been using the gym and trying to eat better. Why is eating better so much more expensive? May has finished primary school of which I am (secretly) very emotional about, I was devastated when she went to primary school now her going to high school is heart braking. But trying to keep it together for both her and Roos sake.

OH is having another bad day but at least he’s speaking to his counsellor today. Although being a (self diagnosed) narcissist I do wonder if he’s telling him the truth about things, or whether it’s just all one side of a story. 

I have been good and have put in £300 of expenses in, just trying to do another £300, I have another £300 invoice to do when I’m home. And I have about £180 more which I may or may not get a pay out as have lost the receipt.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. 

Hope you’re all ok.

jwil

Sorry things are challenging.  Glad OH is seeking help and hope he's making use of it.

Well done for getting expenses in.  Can you use a bank statement as evidence for the missing receipt?

Job situation is rubbish. I'm likely to know after the summer.  It's worth just spending the time getting yourself into the best position you can be - trying to set aside some money if you can.  If job/business situation works out, then you'll have a bit of backup behind you and it will make life much easier!  It's easy to get into the temptation of just spending money to escape everything, but having that buffer for unexpected bills or situations is priceless, as I am realising myself.

joedenise

@missymoo81 - please contact HMRC and make arrangements to pay what you owe over time.  They're usually very helpful when you have problems and will let you pay over a period of time.  Now that you're on PAYE they can change your tax code to recoup the money.  I did that several years ago after there had been a problem (they'd given me the wrong tax code a few years earlier).  They asked for a lump sum but I told them I couldn't afford it and they recouped it over a couple of years.

missymoo81

Thanks for the understanding words @jwil and Thank you @joedenise that’s so helpful. I’ve actually found out I have nearly £1000 of expenses which would cover my tax. If we go on holiday I need to use anything else for that, it wipes out my savings but each mo th I siphon off  nearly £1000 straight away for non essential things well literally anything that’s not bills, food or fuel.  I was putting it all into pots, but just kept raiding the pots, This money covers anything, clothes, coffees, holidays, meals out, school uniform,  etc etc, so I should be able to save some each month as there should be some left over. So at present I just need to make this pay day on Wednesday last until the end of August. Which won’t be easy with school holidays, actual holidays and OHs birthday. I’ll go through things tomorrow maybe and see what I can do. OH is on his therapy video call so I’ve not wanted to come home from work so I’m sat in a sunny beer garden with a shandy, which is always  nice although not v mse.

Bluegreen143

I wonder if it would be easier to budget using smaller separate pots than one big pot for all non essentials? I’ve tried both, and it’s too easy to raid a generic savings account. Makes you think a bit more when it’s labelled pots for “kids clothes”, “holiday”, “eating out” and “Christmas” etc.

EDIT just reread and saw you said you did previously use pots but kept raiding them. A little bit of budget rejigging is totally to be expected but obviously you don’t want to constantly raid all your pots. Different things work for different people but I just know one big savings account DID not work for me 😅

missymoo81

@Bluegreen143 thanks for posting, I have just found your new diary too!

You’re right of course I did hesitate far more taking money out of specific pots, maybe I should put less in the pots but still be letting them fill up but having more to one side for the bigger things. I have Monzo all set up with everything. 

I get paid tomorrow, so will do the money shuffle and see where we are at. At work today, wishing I was at home in the sunshine. Reading and doing washing. At least there is aircon here.

missymoo81

Does anyone else feel like there are 2 versions of themselves? One that is sensible and looks to the future and desperately wants to pay everything off and be in a great position when they retire and just wants to live in the countryside live a slow life and read books. But in the meantime wants to have a good job and pension and watch all the pennies

And then there is the other one, that loves excitement, spends money on a whim on meals or clothes and coffee or expensive but fun days out for the children and treats and spur of the moment stuff and loves a bit of luxury. 

I am both people but they do not fit together! And I’m the sensible one for the first week of the month when I’m trying to allocate money then it just sort of peters out and for the next 2 weeks I’m left with the one that just wants to spend money on everyone and not worry. Then comes the end of the month when reality hits and the money has gone and so the cycle goes on. I’m not sure how to break out of it?! I feel a bit like Jeckyl (sp?)  and Hyde!

fionaandphil

I think we are all a bit like that! It's hard to stay motivated all the time. Set yourself up a few treats later in the month so you've still got something to look forward to and it might not seem so difficult. Once you get into the swing it should be easier.

Find more free stuff to do as well, even if just going to the park or library. I always have snacks and drinks in the car during school holidays so we aren't tempted to eat out too often.

One step at a time, you will get there 

Bluegreen143

Can you split your grocery and entertainment/kids budgets into weekly pots? That way if you blow that week’s you know you can go out again in a few days. Might be easier to stick to and if you are good at the start of the month you can roll over unused budget to the next week for a bigger treat or shop.

missymoo81

@fionaandphil thanks so much, yes you’re right, free things still work with the children. Much are weather dependant though. Beach and park etc, camping in the garden and fire pits and bbqs. It’s when it rains, we go to the cinema a lot or out for breakfast. Trampoline parks are the most expensive things! 

@Bluegreen143 I’ll have a look. I think setting any budget would be good and making it realistic is a start. 

Think we are going on holiday so need to try and think about how to save money abroad. Taking tea and biscuits and a bottle for water are the top things. Suncream and adaptors and playing cards. Kindle and books. Trouble is we have to travel super light as everything is on the back of the bike. 

But will think. Really need to get on with some work but my mind isn’t working.