The Diary Of Onebrokelady Aged 60 And A Half

Sun_Addict

What a day 🙁 I guess your mum is of the generation that classes any form of help or advice as interfering. Hard to know what to do for the best and very stressful for you. 

I hope tomorrow is better 🤞

Cherryfudge

I'm sorry to hear about your day and everybody's problems. I suppose if your Mum feels she can cope, it would be hard to persuade her otherwise, but could she be worried about the cost of carers?

I hope your legs feel stronger tomorrow and it's altogether a better day.

Onebrokelady

Sun_Addict said:

What a day 🙁 I guess your mum is of the generation that classes any form of help or advice as interfering. Hard to know what to do for the best and very stressful for you. 

I hope tomorrow is better 🤞

They had carers when dad came out of hospital and they only lasted two weeks because mum said they didn't do anything that she couldn't do and they also didn't turn up exactly when they said they would. I tried to explain to her that we know they don't do anything different but that's the whole point. They are there to save her a job and make life easier, I also explained that sometimes they might run late because of problems with the previous client. I don't mind if she wants to do it all herself but she moans about it like she wants me to do something then doesn't take up my suggestions. I get very frustrated by people who complain but don't do anything to change things. 

Tomorrow will be ok because I'm not going anywhere apart from round the block with B  😀

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

I'm sorry to hear about your day and everybody's problems. I suppose if your Mum feels she can cope, it would be hard to persuade her otherwise, but could she be worried about the cost of carers?

I hope your legs feel stronger tomorrow and it's altogether a better day.

That's the thing though she is constantly telling me how exhausted she is but when I offer solutions she says no . Im getting annoyed with her now which is then making me feel bad
. She's 91 and not in the best of health. When I left she went to pull the  wheely  bin to the front garden which is a long way and up a step so I said I'd do it but she wasn't going to let me then she went next door to do theirs because they are on holiday 🙄she wouldn't let me do it but I had to in the end because she couldn't move it. It was so heavy I had a job moving it myself and I just can't stop thinking if I hadn't been there she would have done it herself so now I'm worrying about what she is doing when no one is around. She doesn't realise the impact of her actions on anyone else and it drives me mad. They can easily afford carers but she might not want to pay out for it 

Cherryfudge

I suppose it comes down to the bottom line of the Mental Capacity Act - freedom to make an unwise decision. What happens if you say 'Well, I offered you the option of having carers and you refused, but you can still have them if you want to. But I don't want to hear more complaints if you won't have them!'

Or would that just create a worse situation where she goes quiet and you worry more?

jwil

Sorry to hear about the challenges with your parents.  Hope you are feeling better today as well.

CRANKY40

Does your dad have a peak flow meter? It's just a tube with a gauge in the side that you blow into. When you blow into it a little pointer moves up the tube and gives you a reading. I have it because I'm asthmatic but my aunty with COPD also has one. I know my normal reading and I know my "go to hospital" reading too. It never gets to the hospital point because I can call my GP, say I'm having an asthma attack, give them my normal reading and my current (lower) reading and they give me a script for steroids. 

I'm thinking that it might be useful in determining which kind of "I can't breathe" episode your dad is having. 

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

I suppose it comes down to the bottom line of the Mental Capacity Act - freedom to make an unwise decision. What happens if you say 'Well, I offered you the option of having carers and you refused, but you can still have them if you want to. But I don't want to hear more complaints if you won't have them!'

Or would that just create a worse situation where she goes quiet and you worry more?

She just would just clam up then forget and complain again the next time I see her . I told her I had washed my hands of it when she got rid of the carers 

Onebrokelady

jwil said:

Sorry to hear about the challenges with your parents.  Hope you are feeling better today as well.

Thanks it's not an easy situation that's for sure.

Onebrokelady

CRANKY40 said:

Does your dad have a peak flow meter? It's just a tube with a gauge in the side that you blow into. When you blow into it a little pointer moves up the tube and gives you a reading. I have it because I'm asthmatic but my aunty with COPD also has one. I know my normal reading and I know my "go to hospital" reading too. It never gets to the hospital point because I can call my GP, say I'm having an asthma attack, give them my normal reading and my current (lower) reading and they give me a script for steroids. 

I'm thinking that it might be useful in determining which kind of "I can't breathe" episode your dad is having. 

He did have one but I'm not sure where it is now. He as heart failure so his breathing is never good. He sounded fine to me when I was talking to him and he could hold a conversation so clearly not dying but I worry my mum isn't going to believe him if it is serious. He would get terrible results on a peak flow