Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

daisy_1571 said:

ikea extending tables are brilliant,  so clever.

Just had a thought- did ds have the idea to idea to come home for bday before or after he saw his sister get a car? 

Dxx

@daisy_1571 he saw the car on her birthday as he was collected just after. And I had said to him before that I'd like you to be home for your birthday because you never usually are...he didn't respond tbh.
I think his dad is probably thinking more along the lines of - I paid maintenance and there is still at least ten days left of July. Honestly he's that shallow and petty.
DD thinks DS is going to hate living there. When DD was going through puberty I remember her threatening me and saying I'm living with dad. I said go on then..and she said no I didn't mean it it would be horrible there. DS has also said the same in the past only this time he meant it. DD has said ex has said to both of them every time they go down...you know I'm much more easy going than mum with parenting you can both live here if you want there is plenty of space.
This has been a long game play in the making it seems. And I'm fuming it's worked right at an important part of DS school time. I can't lie.

DS won't be getting a car for his birthday 😉 he is 16... I will take him out for the day and get some cake and presents as I would have done for DD. I also said dad gets to buy you a car same as DD next year that's exciting isn't it 😃 ex's jaw nearly hit the floor 😉🤣.

debtfreewannabe321

Ok so the only furniture left in the new kitchen area is a sofa that's too big to go anywhere else 😆. We can work around that ok. 
DP was having nightmares with everything yesterday. Some days DIY goes swimmingly well and no hiccups and we get lots done. And some days not. Hopefully we can make up for things that went wrong yesterday and try to get a few bits done today as we're running out of weekends really before the kitchen arrives. But also we hoped to get the cooker in before the electrician turned up next week! Not sure that will happen.

Will make a curry today as I have enough ingredients for that. Then tomorrow I will need to go shopping again - food budget has dwindled to around £80 left for the month so I definitely need to transfer some cash from EF to cover that freezer purchase. I've got money in the birthday fund to pay for DS day out but not much money elsewhere for other things.... 🙄 Getting a little fed up of this happening every summer now. 

Ok off to start my day, I actually got a lie in this morning which was lovely ☺️✨.

KajiKita

Naughty DFW!! 😂 Wish I’d been there to see ex’s face too!! 😂😂😂👏

Next summer will be calmer … you have promised us all that you are not moving again for a bit, yes …?! 🤔😂😉

KK

daisy_1571

Omg well played !!  Yes that seems fair and having said it front of them all is perfect!   Brilliant! 

Dxx

slm6002

Fantastic lol

Watty1

Well played with the car and the ex.  

debtfreewannabe321

Hehe I'm glad you all didn't tell me off for that it was a little underhand. However ex then played his card to drop DS back off because he had a week of activities planned it turned out and ds didn't fit into them. So hopefully you won't disagree with this but I messaged DS and said would he like to stay down there for another week and come back next weekend 😁. It really isn't a good time to be in our house atm. The kids rooms and office are FILLED with stuff from the kitchen and dining area and we have only one tiny area to all sit in. So as I explained this DS knew what I was talking about as his room had slowly been filling up over the last few weeks anyway and he agreed he'd like to stay there. Seems ex wasn't too happy 🤭 sorry mate but being dad means you do it 24/7 like I did for 27 years 😃. So anyway DS is staying in Essex long story short. I only found out about ex's plans ruined via DD afterwards btw so it wasn't done maliciously to ruin plans but I have to say it all worked out quite well 😂.
However....again..... DD had a friend who travelled down from Scotland three nights ago and she had been set to have a sleepover in DD room with her. It's been in the planning for months so I couldn't say no. DD friend turns up in our little city three nights ago and messaged DD all night. I said what is wrong? Something must be wrong she hasn't seen her dad in months and now she's spending her whole night messaging you instead. 
DD got the story out of her eventually (after two nights of this) Her dad is actually homeless and sofa surfing and she ended up sleeping on a sofa with two other men (that she doesn't know,!) hence why she was non stop messaging DD. During the day when she thought they'd be catching up he was doing dodgy dealings all across town...... Enough said there. I told DD to get friend over here immediately and she can stay here for the week. Poor girl. She looked absolutely exhausted when she showed up. All her clothes smelt of weed and cigarettes. She looked scared.
We cleared DS bed for her and she had a good night sleep on a proper bed and she was safe more importantly. She went to town today as she felt she would be in the way and I said absolutely not you come back when you're done don't feel like you'd be in my way because you're not. Jeez my house right now is filled with tradesmen one more isn't going to matter 😂. So hopefully she will listen to me and come home.

I now have the problem back of not enough food to go round with my small budget 😂. I went to Mr L this morning and topped up for a few days. This evening was the night her friend was always staying anyway so I already bought pizzas in last week for that planning ahead. So I have pasta and also tofu and sausages and I will make a curry then to last a few days. It's all about stretching it all so we don't have to use DIY money for the food. If I need to though I do have a back up. 
DD is at work three days this week. So she gets fed there anyway so won't want much dinner. Her friend is as tiny as her so we will muddle through. I'd rather her be safe - I'd want someone to do the same for my kids. 
DD has had two driving lessons so far and is apparently doing well 😄 I'm glad we opted for the car over paying for lessons as she can have as many as she wants now rather than waiting months for one lesson.

Spends today were around £56. I haven't spent anything all weekend though so that was good. 
I need to buy DS a present for his birthday but I have a pot for that.
Banks are looking pretty depleted to be honest but it's okay. The extension is at the stage of first fix today and plasterer coming in tomorrow..we should have it all signed off by the time our kitchen is arriving I reckon! Flooring not sure if that is being done then or not but it's quite exciting 😊.

Right off to sort out the ironing and tidy around. 

daisy_1571

well, let's unpack that a little  !!!

Good that ds will see a bit more of what ex is going to be like when he's with him all the time rather than just an odd week here and there.  Its all great the exidiot trying to big himself up and saying to them 'oh come stay with me, I'm laid back and easybreezy, it'll all be great here' then within a couple of days he's saying best go back to your mum for a week!  Hopefully ds will start to understand life a bit more !

Anyhoo enough about exidiot  - what about that poor girl's dad!  Omg, things like this remind me I really have NO idea how some folk are brought up.  My life has never included my dad thinking I could sleep on a couch with 2 strange women let alone 2 blokes.  Thank goodness she had you guys to come to.  What a life for her.  Wow, sorry no words can explain that bit of top class parenting!! 

Dxxx

Watty1

What @daisy_1571 said

The poor girl. Thank goodness that poor girl has you, I hope she feels she can take advantage of your kindness.

debtfreewannabe321

daisy_1571 said:

well, let's unpack that a little  !!!

Good that ds will see a bit more of what ex is going to be like when he's with him all the time rather than just an odd week here and there.  Its all great the exidiot trying to big himself up and saying to them 'oh come stay with me, I'm laid back and easybreezy, it'll all be great here' then within a couple of days he's saying best go back to your mum for a week!  Hopefully ds will start to understand life a bit more !

Anyhoo enough about exidiot  - what about that poor girl's dad!  Omg, things like this remind me I really have NO idea how some folk are brought up.  My life has never included my dad thinking I could sleep on a couch with 2 strange women let alone 2 blokes.  Thank goodness she had you guys to come to.  What a life for her.  Wow, sorry no words can explain that bit of top class parenting!! 

Dxxx

I agree. I was gobsmacked. I mean I didn't have the nicest father in the world but elhe would have fought anyone who went near me. And he'd never have let me near a -well let's call it for what it is- a drug den. ...
My DD met her in year 7. And this friend moved away for year 9 I think. DD said she bonded with this friend because both their fathers at that point were alcoholics....I never knew that is how they became friends ☹️ and it makes me sad as I never knew how bad my ex had become until DD talked to me yesterday. She also said both mums were single and doing the best we could and that's how they started chatting. Their families were the 'dysfunctional' ones. Friends mum escaped to Scotland to get away from what dad was like only to end up in another bad relationship where kids got abused.... but that's another story. 
Poor friend. It reminded me quite strongly of why I'd applied months ago for information on fostering. To help poor kids like this. ☹️

I'm praying with DS down with dad that dad won't turn to drink again. He swore he'd been sober for a while so that was the only reason I fully agreed to DS going otherwise I'd have fought him all the way through the courts....